Good morning, I'm new here, actually unsure of how I got here. I imagine I was searching for answers/support and clicking on links led me here. Nonetheless, I've looked around and read quite a few posts. I feel like I may have actually stumbled onto something here...perhaps it's wishful thinking, that I may have actually found a helpful group to overcome my ocd. I haven't seen my "Subtype" listed. Or I haven't noticed, rather. Long story short, I've suffered from debilitating anxiety/panic attacks for over 25 years. I was also Dx with ptsd and ocd. Not sure what my type of ocd falls under. I suffer from obsessive thoughts, worry. I worry about those close to me dying. I worry even more about myself dying. I honestly cannot remember the last time I actually enjoyed a day without unrealistic worry. Debilitating worry. I don't mean the normal daily hassles. I'd give anything to just have those. I also have a ritual of having to touch my bibles when I pray and making sure the bibles are under my pillows or beside my bed. If I don't touch them while praying, I worry something bad will happen to me or loved one. I don't wanna worry about these things anymore. I'm exhausted. I've so many questions here, not sure where to begin. How would one go about embracing their fears, if is about themselves or loved ones dying. Impending doom hovers me 24/7. Am I in the right place? If so, what "Type" of ocd is this? I've been on many different ssri for the majority of my life. They don't help. Why am I convinced I will die soon? I consider myself very spiritual. So, then I think God is not pleased with me because it would appear I've a lack of faith. I could keep going for hours. Someone please tell me I'm not alone on this and that complete healing is possible. Thank you in advance.

Hi. I found this website through listening to a podcast. I am undiagnosed OCD, but I am absolutely sure I've got it, and I'm really struggling. I feel lonely and my head will literally not give me a moment's peace. It all started a year ago. I have always been the anxious type, but a really intrusive/alarming thought randomly entered my head - it wasn't intrusive/alarming in the sense of distressing explicit content (as I know this is common with OCD), it was intrusive & alarming in regards to the future and a worse case scenario happening. I spiralled from here and over a year later I'm really struggling in this same spiral. I have to check things constantly. If I can't check, I become quickly distressed. But, even if I can check, sometimes it's not enough and I still doubt and become distressed. I am CONSTANTLY scanning for danger - no matter how small, or insignificant. I am CONSTANTLY pre-occupied by worse case scenario and I try and plan repeatedly in my head 'just in case'. I replay the past in my head on a constant loop trying to desperately remember if I did/didn't do something. I then 'test' myself by trying to remember things that I can check in the here and now - if I get it wrong, I become pre-occupied and distressed. I'm very vigilant about 'covering any tracks' where I could have 'slipped up', e.g. did I send that text to the right person? Or fully believing that my phone has malfunctioned and has sent stuff to people who I wouldn't want to see it. I then check and recheck. I have urges to straighten things, touch things etc. when my brain tells me to so that I stay 'safe'. Every OCD incident, pattern etc. I have a real need to share and seek reassurance from friends and family, but not only do I realise that ultimately this reinforces my OCD, friends and family are fed up and have a 'what now?' attitude. It's so lonely and I want to beat OCD once and for all. It's an absolutely miserable way to live.

I’m irrationally terrified of being found somehow by someone who knows me but I’m trying to post anyway. Not sure if I qualify as young adult or mid-life at this point because I’m about to be 30. Hi, I’m new here and I’m in the process of getting a diagnosis. I’m already diagnosed with autism, GAD, and probable ADHD, and I believe I’ve had varying subtypes of OCD since childhood. My worst OCD-related issue right now has been constant reassurance seeking. I’ve fallen into a trap of constantly doing it and without reassurance I’m terrified to make decisions in my new job. It’s causing me to ask too many questions I already know the answers to which makes me not look competent. Even though I’m somewhat experienced in my field of work, starting this new job has me feeling like I’m starting in the field all over again because I’m so bad these days with working independently since I can’t reassure myself that what I’m doing is correct. I’ve been stressed out of my mind and have come close to losing my job because the stress has exacerbated my autistic struggles such as meltdowns and social issues and I’m also battling the ADHD and GAD on top of it. I’ve also been pushing away people who are close to me with my reassurance seeking because I have problems with not being satisfied with any piece of advice or reassurance given to me by friends and family. They can say things will be okay a thousand times and even though I’m the one who asked I will fight them on it and I’m getting tired of my own difficult behavior and obsessive thoughts. I finally got into therapy again to try and save my job and my relationships from the clutches of my various mental illnesses and I’m just looking for community here.

Hi, I’m new to the app as of today. I’m 20 years old, and wanted to get some stuff off my chest about the types of OCD I’ve been experiencing over the years. I’m not entirely sure how or when my OCD was brought up, but I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. Anywhere and everywhere I go, if I see things placed in an order/angle that my brain doesn’t approve of, next thing I know I’m “fixing” it to be in the placement I feel looks better. I’m not aware of why I feel the need to do that, but until an object is in the “right” placement, I won’t take my eyes off of it. My eye will even twitch. Another form of OCD I have is in relationships. I spend each day overthinking and over-analyzing every one of the relationships that are important to me. Friends, family, significant other. Another one is what’s considered “Pure OCD” . When I get an intrusive thought of something devilish, whether it’s randomly seeing my great aunt naked bc my grandma considers her “fat” even though she’s not, or it’s seeing something demonic and traumatizing, I immediately tell myself, “I don’t wanna see/think about that” over and over and over until the thought is gone. Or I’ll try to replace one mental image with another. One other form of OCD I face every day, is religion. I got baptized for the first time in my life earlier this year in January. I had finally started to repent for my sins, and now I’m constantly feeling afraid that I’m letting God down due to my depression/lack of motivation and vaping/smoking. I also fear excessively that He’ll banish me from His kingdom, or just turn a cold shoulder. I know that what I’ve just typed up is probably all over the place. That is my brain unfortunately. How do you go from being a mentally disorderly and seemingly erratic young woman, to a more well-established, successful woman? I’m all ears!