I’m having a really hard time rn :( I feel so terrible idk how to explain it anymore it’s like this feeling isn’t right like idk I just feel like I’m changing.. :/ and I hate it bc I don’t want to like ugh I feel like I’m saying things that come out as out of line or ppl look at me weird for saying it idk I feel like I’m being judged on or that I was for something I said and. I hate that I feel so lost in my identity and morality and just everything I used to value and just my morals :( and. I feel like I’m gonna cry bc I never asked for any of this to happen to me.. and I feel like it’s all my fault bc I caused my own trauma but when I tell the few ppl that I trust abt it they said that I was only a child who didn’t know any better and I really didn’t but I just feel like my child self is a shame yk.?

[Deleted]

Date posted: 4y

Comment deleted by user

katr :,)

Date posted: 4y

But my friends looked at me weird :( I think they did, I’m just ugh I feel like I’m ignoring it though :/ like what if it’s all building up and I’m slowly becoming something I don’t want to be ?☹️

katr :,)

Date posted: 4y

@kathernyr It’s just feels like I’m suppressing my emotions :(

katr :,)

Date posted: 4y

@BlueMountain I haven’t told them anything abt what I said though 🥲😭 I’m just concerned that they think something abt me for saying that like they don’t know that I have thoughts like this 😭 I’m just worried abt something I said yesterday when I was out with them 🥲 and the way they looked at me when I said that comment. And it was two different things ik it’s confusing bc I ramble a lot 😅

katr :,)

Date posted: 4y

@BlueMountain Okay :( ❤️ it’s so hard like what I’m feeling rn won’t go away 😭

katr :,)

Date posted: 4y

@BlueMountain Alright 😭🥲 I’ll try thank youu ❤️ how are you doing ? 😭

katr :,)

Date posted: 4y

@BlueMountain Thanks ❤️ that’s good you’re doing well ✨

katr :,)

Date posted: 4y

@BlueMountain Thanks you are too 😭😭🥺 sending love bro ❤️✨

rottenmoss

Date posted: 4y

I used to get really caught up on my actions as a child. But I learned a lot about psychology and the brain and every scientific source taught me that kids only do what they're taught. The mistakes we make as children are not our faults. Kids are blank slates, they absorb the actions of people around them and replicate them. It's not fair to call your child self a shame because you didn't fully understand what was happening as a kid. There is always time to change your morals and actions. If you know the thoughts are things you don't want to be, you don't have to act on them. The worst thing you can do is allow it to take over you and end up hurting others and yourself.

meow

Date posted: 4y

I feel the same. Also, try not to talk about your OCD to other people too often because it might be a compulsion. especially when you’re feeling really anxious.

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