Imaan7
- Date posted
- 3y
DrewcobeneDrewcobene
- Date posted
- 3y
There's always always always time to change things. I get in the headspace that I'm a failure all the time. But why is it we're so harsh on ourselves when we would never say the things we tell ourselves to other people? Right now I'm in probably the worst spot of my life other than when I was actively getting traumatized. Everything feels completely pointless. I learned to stop future tripping. It doesn't matter what my life will look like in 5 or 10 years. Because that can change depending on my actions every day. And it's a lot easier to make good decisions when you're not enemies with yourself. Normal doesn't exist. I've stopped trying to be it because it's impossible. I'm just going to be whatever I am in the moment. There's a few people in my life that many people in my place would want dead. I still feel forgiveness and empathy for them. This is what I mean by there's always time to change things. There really is no such thing as having one chance. Life is a chain of possibilities that you can miss or take advantage of. We're not any worse as people for missing a hell of a lot of those chances. Struggling with the mental illness we have, it's to be expected. We're dealing with more than what we call "normal" people are. If you feel you had one chance at life, you definitely didn't blow it. If the chance is ruined in your mind, it's not your fault. Having OCD is fucking hard. If anything it was stolen from you. It sounds like today isn't the day to be tackling the existential stuff. Instead, treat yourself to things you like and tell the OCD part of your brain you can get into it later when you feel better. Because the emotional part of our minds is not good as decision making or seeing things the way they actually are. On bad days I make a pillow fort like when I used to be little, put on a show I like, and make myself a special meal (or if I can't do that I'll order something). I put my responsibilities on pause. You don't expect someone with covid to be running a mile and finding success in their life. You would expect them to rest and try their best to survive. Mental illness is illness. We need to be taking care of ourselves, not pressuring ourselves to be accomplished and performing perfectly. That's not fair. So even if it's just for 20 minutes, go do some self care for a bit. Even if you don't feel you deserve it
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2005grl
- Date posted
- 21w
sad
will i ever be free or is this all there is for the rest of my life
beloiter
- Date posted
- 21w
how do i survive this?
i want to get this out of the way; i’m not suicidal. i’m a 17 y/o guy whose been living with OCD for what i assume is most of my life despite only getting the diagnoses last year. i’ve been hustling on despite my mental health really consuming my life to moments in time where i question my sanity and self control. it’s the lack of control that really kills me with this disorder. each day i wake up, it’s the same persistent reminders; it’s the same meaningless conversations replaying; it’s the same small rituals that just barely let me breathe before the thoughts return. nothing i do is gonna stop that unbearable monogamy where i have to sit back and let my eyes be peeled open; i don’t know how to live with that. no pill has worked on me, and any response i give the thoughts just make them worse. right now i’m trying to just sit through it and not care. don’t let it effect me emotionally; try not to feel the discomfort. then it starts to manifest into physical pain where i feel the bones of my chest have this pressure—like staples entering them at the rhythm of a heart beat. i’m getting though this, but i’m not enjoying my life when doing so. i don’t know if i have a future where it isn’t just this repeating through the process of each day. i don’t want to spend the rest of my life avoiding the one thing i’m supposed to have control over. i also don’t want to drown my days in self medicating or get addicted doing so—like i already am. i don’t see the way to make this life of mine work, especially given how much i don’t have to do deal with at my age. of course that will come to. look, i’m not at risk; i really don’t want in anyway to die despite being basically hopeless. i’m numb to the pain of it, i don’t feel anything in my desire to escape these cycles, i just need an out. i’m not seeing a way to move forward. i’m willing to hear anything.
J🧸
- Date posted
- 17w
Do you feel like you can’t live a normal life?
Due to real event ocd and past mistakes? I’ve been actively trying to work on this and try to accept and not pay too much attention to it but the confession thing has been bugging me but I’m also trying to accept that I don’t need to confess every single mistake I’ve made and we’ve all made mistakes Recently I’ve been wanting to work on myself and be more positive but because of my real events in childhood, I feel like I can’t live a normal life or deserve a normal life.
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