I feel like Im incapable of love because everytime I am getting intimate with this guy I like I get ptsd triggers and am dissasociated and all of the medications i tried never helped and only make me more anxious and depressed. I do ERP but I dont think im getting better. It is hard to find hope because I dont know if I will ever be able to love

I get the same thing. It doesn't even matter how understanding the guy is, I always feel blocked. For me I had to do some self work before I could even consider seriously dating.

It can be so hard to manage the combination of OCD and PTSD. I know you must wish you were able to remain more present in those intimate scenarios. That is definitely something I’ve dealt with in the past. Sometimes when we are facing both diagnoses, we might have to treat them separately. You might consider talking with your therapist about potentially combating the trauma prior to doing the OCD exposures. Or doing smaller exposures and building up so you don’t find yourself dissociating. You might have to move a lot slower In those relationships than you May wish you could, but it’s important that you recognize the role trauma has had in your life and grant yourself lots of self compassion.

yes I also need advice on the self work, I am currently almost hopeless

Omg I relate so much. I can’t be intimate because I get paralyzed with fear..