- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
2 years is a long time to reminisce. it’s also a long enough time to add details here and there. i don’t want to offer you any reassurance, but try to not find answers. the more you try to remember that night, the more you will convince yourself that it’s true of what you’re afraid of. try to let go and move on. i don’t want to offer any reassurance, but. (1) you would remember cheating on your boyfriend. (2) someone would have said something by now. no more trying to remember! stay calm and take care 💕
- Date posted
- 3y
Agh my boyfriend is still friends with him and they hang out a lot and I wanna ask so badly but I know that I will look insane :( .
- Date posted
- 3y
I meant to say I don’t think I did but I remeber complaining I was cold ^ but she was originally in the middle of me and the dude then she cuddled on top of him I guess and I was just there on the other side .
- Date posted
- 3y
yes, do not ask. you’re not crazy, but try not to seek for reassurance. it’s very important to take note of you remembering saying that you were cold. if you could of remembered that, i guarantee that you would remember cheating. i know it’s hard and you feel some sort of guilt, but letting go and continuing on is the most important thing you can do to heal.
- Date posted
- 3y
@luna ✨ I feel very guilty I feel so sick . I have so many other things I worry about too if you look through my posts. It really sucks :(
- Date posted
- 3y
@Missemily Oh I realized you can’t look through my posts but I’m also convinced I used a dating app and dont remeber . I had apps to find friends and I’m convinced I cheated there too etc etc list goes on .
- Date posted
- 3y
oh trust me, i’ve worried about everything and anything. the list is endless. i am no health expert, but you might have false memory ocd. i struggle with this theme every single day. i’ve made myself believe i’ve done the worst of the worst. there are no right words to describe this kind of pain. i am always feeling guilty and shameful. every time i go through one of my episodes, i’ve learned the same thing: i will never know. no matter how much i try to remember, i still will not know. there is no reassurance or anything that i can do to remember everything piece by piece. we are so consumed by thinking we did it, but why not think about not doing it? why do we only think we have the option of thinking we did do it and not the possibility of not doing it? i know it’s hard to accept the uncertainty and live with guilt and shame, but the only way to heal is to let go and accept that we will never know.
- Date posted
- 3y
i don’t know if i made any sense because today i can’t type x) what i meant is, why only think of “i did do it”. let’s have the mindset of “but what if i didn’t do it?”
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
last night one of my friend groups guy friends came over just to hang out and ended up staying until 1 am. idk if i’m just overthinking but i think he was being a little too nice to me like trying to flirt. like he was staring at me quite a bit and at one point he said “you have really nice eyes i really like your eyes”. which was a nice compliment sure but it made me feel very weird. he also ALWAYS hugs me and my friends when he leaves and for some reason my brain thinks that if i touch a man more than a first bump im cheating. ik it’s not so i try to give him a high five or let him hug me without freaking out but i literally feel like i cheated. idk if it’s just my rocd trying to convince me i cheated or that i like him or something but i’ve been freaking out abt it. i was literally talking abt my bf the whole time (just incase he was trying to flirt so he’d know i didn’t want/like it). at one point he also asked if we saw something on his snapchat story and i was like oh i don’t have you on snap and he seemed very excited to add me but i told him no bc it feels disrespectful to snap guys other than my bf. he was also touching us a lot like he’d rest his arm on me to show me and my friends a video and i just let it happen bc he might not have meant it but i was freaking out everytime he touched me bc i felt like it was cheating. he wasn’t really doing it to any of my other friends. idk if it’s just my ocd or if it’s actually wrong but i tend to keep my guy friends at an arms length bc it feels wrong to get super close to a man who isn’t my bf and i feel like this guy is crossing the line. am i just overthinking and should try sitting with my anxiety or should i say something? idk if im just being dramatic
- Date posted
- 25w
I met my boyfriend unexpectedly. Obviously you don’t become boyfriend and girlfriend the day you meet . It takes time to get to know eachother and then you become that . But before I met him I had a little fling with someone & I continued to still talk to him and hangout with him until me and my boyfriend now got serious . Is that wrong ? Am I a cheater ? I cut off the other guy like a week into me and the new boyfriend getting to know eachother . But even when I cut the guy off my boyfriend was still out here flirting and hanging with other girls until we became serious . Which I don’t care about anymore . But does that make me a cheater ?
- Date posted
- 21w
17f I don't know if it's very ocd related cause I actually did something wrong but I have another serious year long real event ocd which caused me moral ocd and now I feel extremely guilty because of that thing I'm going to talk about because now I feel like me being a better person after my big event was just a lie if i did this So basically me and my friend were at our other friends birthday and she came with her boyfriend. I saw him like once before and at first I didnt find him attractive at all. But the second time we met before the party (me, my friend and her boyfriend shared an uber to get there) I kinda noticed that he is kinda cute but yk I didn't do anything about it since he is my friends boyfriend. Then I got drunk at the party and when I'm drunk I become way way more talkative and affectionate, so I became more attracted to him. I mean I didn't like full on flirt with him, but later I realized I was purposefully making jokes I knew he would laugh at and enjoyed every piece of attention I got from him, like I would say stuff that I knew would catch his attention without openly trying to innitiate a conversation with him, cause it would be too suspicious or obvious. Now I don't really remember was I actually fully aware that I'm borderline flirting with my friends boyfriend, I mean I wasn't blackout drunk, but I was drunk and it was 2 months ago. I remember when I got sober and started recalling the other night I felt guilty and promised myself that when we meet again I won't repeat it. So here comes another party we are both invited too. It was my friends (his girlfriends) birthday, and it was a bit far away from our town, so we had to take a bus and then also an uber. Since I can't pay with my card my friend was supposed to call and uber for me and I would just pay her back in cash. But she was very busy with preparing stuff for the party so she asked her boyfriend to call me an uber and then text me the details. So I was extremely neutral and short with my answers to him like the bare minimum cause I remembered how I promised myself that I won't initiate anything weird. Then he met me where the uber stopped to show me the way to the house they rented for the party and still while sober I was very neutral with him. Like polite but not overly friendly yk And then everyone got drunk. Especially me, I usually drink a lot at parties and this time wasn't an exception. And again. I wasnt openly flirting with him. And this time I actually didnt innitiate interactions with him a lot at first. But then I got really drunk and me and my friend were joking around how I actually made out with her before her boyfriend did when we played the bottle a year ago. And we were like "it would be funny to tell him". So basically he came in the room and my drunk ass says something like "hey bro fun fact I actually made out with your gf before you got a chanse to do so" trying to tease him. The dude looked shocked and I thought it was funny. But then he kinda pulled me to the side and asked wtf did I mean by that. I didn't really get why is he so confused and said "I mean yeah we did but like it wasn't serious we just played bottle and there was also a bunch of other girls she kissed it was just a game yk" but after I said this he got upset. So he went to talk with his girlfriend and I realized I maybe shouldn't have said that so I texted her asking if everything is okay and apologized for making that joke and messing things up. She responded that everything it's fine and I didn't really mess everything up it was just a misunderstanding. So after we continued drinking they came back and he ended up sitting next to me on the couch and I still felt bad and a bit akward so I apologized for that joke and he said that it's all good he just got it very wrong, he thought I meant that we made out today like at this party instead of a year ago. So drunk me just formulated this very poorly and he who was also drunk understood it in a very wrong way so its fine now when he knows the context So basically apart from this dumb joke drama I also feel guilty for I wasn't really trying to interact with him a lot but I wasn't stopping it if he did? Again he was just being drunk and freidnly and I know he's loyal to his gf and wouldn't hit on me so even if I'm attracted to him and enjoy his attention I'm not stealing anyone's bf? Like that was my drunk logic But I feel so bad now. Especially because of this joke. I didn't make it for sole purpose of grabbing his attention, I genuinely thought it's funny. But still the attention thing was a part of the motive. And then during the apology, even though I was sincerely apologizing cause I genuinely felt bad, I was still kinda enjoying him talking to me??? So yeah not good not only I was kinda crushing on a friends bf I also made him upset because I wanted to talk to him and tease him by making that dumbass joke
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