I know how you feel. I struggle a lot with memories too...i wrote some things in my diary as a teen that feel like proof today that I have spent my life in denial. It's horrible as I can't even label that as false memories because it is written down. I would love to burn it but it feels like giving in or giving it more power....but the key problem I guess that we cannot bear ambivalence in ourselves, that we expect from ourselves to have these black and white, clear feelings of identity but that is a social construct, also labels as gay, straight, bi etc...those are words and they don't have to or they even cant fully grasp the human experience...i think for us with ocd and overthinkers we somehow have to stop labelling and stop trying to figure it out completely...there will never be a clear answer that feels right to us I am afraid..