My thoughts are so bad. I'm so paranoid I touched my bf's little sister (about 5) inappropriately about 2 years ago. I don't know. I keep switching back and forth to "that didn't happen" and "omg it happened". The anxiety feels so real and it's been over 24 hours ive been stuck on this. It wasn't any private areas. I'm just paranoid one time I was either sitting with snuggling or playing with her that I rubbed her arm/leg and my brain told me to "go higher" (like under her clothes) and I'm paranoid I did. I know it wasn't past her thigh or shoulder but I'm so paranoid. And there's no actual way for me to remember. It could have happened. Or I had an intrusive thought and didn't do it, or it didn't even happen at all. I don't think I'm attracted to children at all or anything, I don't know wtf is wrong with me. My bf is obviously very upset (rightfully so) and is considering breaking up with me for it. I need to know weather this is real or just some stupid false memory. I can't tell between the difference real and "fake" memories. My OCD (or just my brain) also tells me I'm making excuses for all my horrible mistakes by calling them "fake" memories. But I also know all of these are signs of ocd. I really hate everything right now. I'm scared to talk to my therapist because I don't want to get reported. Again I know it wasn't any inappropriate areas for sure, but I'm scared of my brains intent

I’m reaching out for educational and self-awareness purposes, hoping to better understand something I’ve been mentally struggling with for several years. Around five years ago, I began having a deeply distressing memory involving the fear that I may have acted inappropriately toward my younger sister when I was around 13–14 years old. The details are vague, fragmented, and unclear—but ever since this thought first appeared, I’ve treated it as if it were a real event. I’ve carried immense guilt, fear, and anxiety for years, convinced that I must have done something horrible. Despite asking my sister (who remembers absolutely nothing, has never shown signs of discomfort, and has told me more than once that she would’ve spoken up if anything had happened), the doubt and guilt never went away. The memory feels real, yet there is no external confirmation, no direct recall, and no evidence beyond my own mental images and fear. I’ve also struggled with obsessive thoughts in other areas, such as health anxiety since childhood—frequent doctor visits, checking my pulse, obsessing over illness—and only recently learned about false memory OCD, which aligns with my experience. I’m not currently seeking therapy but would greatly appreciate your professional opinion from an educational perspective: Does this sound more like a real memory, or more likely a false memory created by OCD or anxiety-related mechanisms I am stuck between a normal person or a s*xual abuser

𝕊𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕪 𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕥 😞𝕋𝕎𝕋𝕎𝕋𝕎 ℙ𝕃𝔼𝔸𝕊𝔼 𝔻𝕆ℕ'𝕋 ℝ𝔼𝔸𝔻 𝕀𝔽 𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕀𝕃𝕐 𝔻𝕀𝕊𝕋𝕌ℝ𝔹𝔼𝔻 𝔹𝕐 𝕋ℍ𝔼𝕄𝔼𝕊 𝕎𝕀𝕋ℍ 𝕂𝕀𝔻𝕊 hi everyone, I am really struggling with something disturbing and I'm so afraid I'm a PDF. So my sis came to visit with my nephew for the first time. So the other day we were taking pics with the baby I was already feeling kinda nervous cuz I never held a baby before. Anyway it was my turn and I like I wonder if this would sexually stimulate him( not exactly the thought but the of thought was more graphic and I don't wanna disturb anyone). And I can't remember if I thought that while I was bumping him on my stomach (like how people bump babies on their hips) or before I started doing so. Anyways I can't really remember what my reaction to that thought was or if I started bumping him before or after I had that thought... So I tried not to think much of it but over time I started to spiral really bad and wonder why I thought that and why then I would bump him on my stomach after having that thought or during. I just feel so disgusted. Like was I curious about it? Did I disregard the thought because my brain thinks disturbing things? Ik right now away from that situation that ofc I have no sexual interest in my nephew at all. I played with him and helped changed diaper and everything and never had the urge to do anything inappropriate to him besides that one weird instance. So like I'm so disturbed like did that mean something? I have P OCD but that didn't really feel like an intrusive thought? I also can be very impulsive, and if it was impulsive does that mean I had a desire? Now I'm terrified of having kids even though I wanted some or to foster some. I mean I know but myself I'm not sexually attracted to kids but then why would I think that I am so disturbed really and feel so sick. 😞😞😞😞 I don't know what to do I'm so scared about what my motivation was I feel so bad and scared😞😞😞😞

Worried about situation that happened with nephew new memory or not idk I'm scared Worried about situation that happened with nephew I'm so scared when I was holding my nephew I thought " I wonder if this would sexually stimulate him" ( not the exact words don't want to be extremely graphic) I began to bump him like how people bump babies on their hips he was on my stomach cuz that's how he was handed to me. Now I fear I remember also thinking if his diaper would stimulate his private part or something like that IDK LIKE I FEEL LIKE I REMEMBER THINKING THAT BUT ALSO DON'T??? LIKE O FEEL LIKE maybe I thought this at a different time for whatever weird reason but then I'm scared that it makes sense it would happen when I held him. Does it change the situation?????I feel extremely sick because I don't know why I would think that or if it was my brain or me. Idk if it was or wasn't cuz I felt his diaper against me? Was I curious if it would? It feels like I was curious but wth why???Was it just something weird I thought? Am I actually a monster? I had been having disturbing thoughts I'm pretty sure that were related to my POCD in general for a while before that. Ik my nephew didn't get hurt but I'm so scared why would I do something like that I feel so sick and disgusted. I know away from that situation I have no sexual interest or attraction towards him I'm just so freaked out and disgusted. I don't wanna be a bad person and I don't want my worst fear to be true.