I’m so confused right now. I feel really calm about my intrusive thoughts and I feel calm overall. I can still get moments of feeling uneasy but overall I’m calmer. Yesterday was really difficult. Does that mean I don’t have OCD? I just don’t get this. Even today I was scared with the thought of what If I’m lying about my intrusive thoughts and my experience with OCD and I’m really just a crazy person.....and then later today when I felt calmer I was like omg what if I really don’t have OCD and I really I’m just making it up. I feel so calm right now. I’m kind of guessing maybe because I talked to my mom about my some intrusive thoughts have and have had in the past and I was worried about telling her but she understood and so I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. Is it possible to suddenly feel ok?

Username: Tia WilsonTia Wilson

User type: Staff

Date posted: 3y ago

What you are describing sounds like something we call the "backdoor spike". This is when you start to experience less anxiety in response to our unwanted thoughts so then you have anxiety about why you don't have anxiety! You wonder whether you have OCD at all. In reality, there are many reasons you might experience this decrease in anxiety. Try not to figure out whether or not this decrease in anxiety means you do or don't have OCD. When you feel the need to figure it out, see if you can practice the phrase "Maybe I do have OCD, maybe I don't." and then continuing with what you were doing.

Username: Sarah🕊Sarah🕊

Date posted: 3y ago

Definitely going through this. It’s so strange. Feeling calm but still feel undertones of fear sadness anger doubt. Confused emotions because I still have the intrusive thoughts yet I’m not reacting to them as much which also worries me..trying my best not to engage with the intrusive thoughts and ruminate which is so difficult especially with false memory. The intrusive thoughts still bother me and make me really sad....but then I get moments where I’m calmer and I’m crying most of the day and just so depressed and feeling hopeless.

Username: Brave through Brave through

Date posted: 3y ago

I have been feeling the same. Some days its like do i even have it and if I don’t whatever i have been denying is true and if that doesn’t cause me anxiety too my brain just litres tries to shut off cause i am exhausted

Username: Sarah🕊Sarah🕊

Date posted: 3y ago

It’s so strange. I don’t understand ...and sometimes when I have the calm moments it causes more doubt and I start to think am I accepting my intrusive thoughts? I haven’t started ERP yet. Also when I feel calm I start to try to think about my intrusive thoughts or more accurately I want to hold onto them which sounds weird but it’s almost like if I’m not stressed about this thought what does that mean?...is that normal?

Username: MikeOH2LAMikeOH2LA

Date posted: 3y ago

This is all normal as far as I can tell. I was diagnosed years ago but didn’t truly accept it until fairly recently. You will have good days and bad days. Once I accepted this, I needed to motivate myself to get further help. I began ERP a few weeks ago and it has dramatically helped me. This mental illness is so challenging and all consuming as it permeates your life. But it doesn’t need to be that way. What your experiences are, many people have had the same things. But it is also so personal because its our fight that we confront by ourselves. This place is a great spot to share and know that you are not alone and that what you are going through, most of is have or are right now.

Username: pamela97pamela97

Date posted: 3y ago

OCD comes with ups and downs in its intensity. this is part of the disorder. when you have a period of being okay and then your symptoms suddenly worsen, this is known as a relapse. it is very common for people going through treatment to relapse as well.

Username: pamela97pamela97

Date posted: 3y ago

also, of course OCD comes with brief periods of feeling relief. that is part of the cycle - have intrusive thought, obsess, do the compulsion and/or seek reassurance, feel temporary relief. then the pattern repeats.

Username: Nameless000Nameless000

Date posted: 3y ago

I feel the same way, it's also the reason that I don't want to help myself before getting professional help. If I suddenly got better it would feel like I was faking it. It would invalidate my suffering.

Username: Gabe445Gabe445

Date posted: 3y ago

I feel this

Username: MikeOH2LAMikeOH2LA

Date posted: 3y ago

Good point about the inconsistency of OCD. Most times right bow when I catch myself wanting to confess, I tell myself to live in the area of uncomfortableness and allow my body and mind to do what it needs to do to work through it.

Username: RG123

Date posted: 2y ago

OCD Turns Off?

Does anyone else feel like they’re OCD turns off for a couple days? Like you go through an intense period of having intrusive thoughts and feeling the need to confess and then you only start to get thoughts here and there? And you try to keep yourself from having the thoughts but you’re not sure if it’s avoidance? Like I have felt sooo much better the last couple of days, especially in the morning, I live for those times of quiet in my head. But I still haven’t been able to accept myself for the things I might have done, like I can’t accept myself still because of my OCD. This probably sounds a little jumbled but I would like to think someone can relate lol

Username: lashes

Date posted: 2y ago

Can OCD calm down for no reason? I’ve always had pretty bad symptoms and it’s usually quite overwhelming, but recently I’ve moved to uni and for some reason my symptoms are minor now, there’s still some there but I can cope with them? It seems like a good thing but at the same time I feel like I’ve been faking this whole time.

Username: HayBD

Date posted: 37w ago

Does anyone get “moments of clarity” essentially?

I had my first real severe OCD flare up almost two weeks ago and it scared the living crap out of me (intrusive thoughts). At the time I had no idea what it was and it was causing insane anxiety and panic attacks. After a bit of research and reaching out to numerous professionals for help with anxiety, I then learned it was OCD. I had a pretty bad week and then started to feel better. The thoughts were still there but I felt like I was learning / understanding how to just not fall victim to them. Now today, I had what I felt like was a bad day. Had what I think was a derealization type episode. Horrified it was going to turn me into someone else. I can’t even explain. I calmed down, but ever since it happened I’ve had ocd on loop about how that specific event happened and what could happen next time if it does happen again. Im truly scared for it to happen again. I was stuck in a loop for hours. Then now just all of the sudden I feel ok. Like a moment of clarity that I know what all of it was. Like I know it was the ocd. And that I’ll handle it better next time. And that I’ll be ok. But then my brain tries to tell me I have more than ocd. That I’m actually losing it. Has anyone experienced these moments before? I know people have good days and bad days but has anyone wone had days where they feel like it’s unbearable but then a couple hours later feel like you have your mind and rational back? Or should I actually be concerned there’s something else going on here? I meet with my therapist on Friday and will fill her in on all this, even though it’s only my second session with her, but just wanted to see if anyone could relate.

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