- Date posted
- 4y
- User type
- Staff
- Date posted
- 3y
What you are describing sounds like something we call the "backdoor spike". This is when you start to experience less anxiety in response to our unwanted thoughts so then you have anxiety about why you don't have anxiety! You wonder whether you have OCD at all. In reality, there are many reasons you might experience this decrease in anxiety. Try not to figure out whether or not this decrease in anxiety means you do or don't have OCD. When you feel the need to figure it out, see if you can practice the phrase "Maybe I do have OCD, maybe I don't." and then continuing with what you were doing.
- Date posted
- 3y
Definitely going through this. It’s so strange. Feeling calm but still feel undertones of fear sadness anger doubt. Confused emotions because I still have the intrusive thoughts yet I’m not reacting to them as much which also worries me..trying my best not to engage with the intrusive thoughts and ruminate which is so difficult especially with false memory. The intrusive thoughts still bother me and make me really sad....but then I get moments where I’m calmer and I’m crying most of the day and just so depressed and feeling hopeless.
- Date posted
- 4y
I have been feeling the same. Some days its like do i even have it and if I don’t whatever i have been denying is true and if that doesn’t cause me anxiety too my brain just litres tries to shut off cause i am exhausted
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s so strange. I don’t understand ...and sometimes when I have the calm moments it causes more doubt and I start to think am I accepting my intrusive thoughts? I haven’t started ERP yet. Also when I feel calm I start to try to think about my intrusive thoughts or more accurately I want to hold onto them which sounds weird but it’s almost like if I’m not stressed about this thought what does that mean?...is that normal?
- Date posted
- 4y
This is all normal as far as I can tell. I was diagnosed years ago but didn’t truly accept it until fairly recently. You will have good days and bad days. Once I accepted this, I needed to motivate myself to get further help. I began ERP a few weeks ago and it has dramatically helped me. This mental illness is so challenging and all consuming as it permeates your life. But it doesn’t need to be that way. What your experiences are, many people have had the same things. But it is also so personal because its our fight that we confront by ourselves. This place is a great spot to share and know that you are not alone and that what you are going through, most of is have or are right now.
- Date posted
- 4y
OCD comes with ups and downs in its intensity. this is part of the disorder. when you have a period of being okay and then your symptoms suddenly worsen, this is known as a relapse. it is very common for people going through treatment to relapse as well.
- Date posted
- 4y
also, of course OCD comes with brief periods of feeling relief. that is part of the cycle - have intrusive thought, obsess, do the compulsion and/or seek reassurance, feel temporary relief. then the pattern repeats.
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel the same way, it's also the reason that I don't want to help myself before getting professional help. If I suddenly got better it would feel like I was faking it. It would invalidate my suffering.
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel this
- Date posted
- 4y
Good point about the inconsistency of OCD. Most times right bow when I catch myself wanting to confess, I tell myself to live in the area of uncomfortableness and allow my body and mind to do what it needs to do to work through it.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I honestly can’t tell when thoughts are being affected by OCD. Sometimes I think I have what I think are normal “grey” thoughts, but then OCD adds so much weight to them and I spiral. I had this thought that I wished my boyfriend was more confident or independent. I felt so guilty for thinking it. I told him, and of course it hurt him. He told me it’s a normal thought to have, I just dwell on it too much. And that it’s the kind of thought most people keep to themselves. That’s the thing. I don’t know what’s okay to keep to myself and what isn’t. I think sometimes I say things out loud not just to relieve anxiety, but because I genuinely don’t know what’s okay to think or say. I do not know the line between a normal grey thought and something that’s “bad” to think. I don’t know how to tell if it’s something I should process privately or something I need to be ashamed of. I get this confusion with intrusive thoughts too, but those are easier to spot and evaluate. This is harder, because again, it is *my* thought. That makes it harder to sit with. Maybe the intrusive part is the voice that questions what kind of person I am for even thinking it. I don’t have the same telltale signs anymore. My physical anxiety isn’t there anymore, it’s all in my head and that makes it so much more confusing. But I don’t know. The line between honesty vs compulsion is so blurry. I just feel lost
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- Date posted
- 24w
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
- Date posted
- 17w
There are moments when something takes over me, like I have to fight myself (literally restrain myself) from acting on my thoughts, like causing harm to my parents or brother. I get these feelings that feel so real, like they are genuinely my own. There are moments when I feel like I like them, and it makes me question whether this is truly OCD or if it's me. Then I wonder whether this is me lying to myself, because I feel the urge to smile at the thought, or feel like I have some pleasure. I check whether I like them, and then I feel like I do, so I stop immediately. I feel like my old self is gone, and I've become this person, and that it was never OCD. Right now, as I type this, I feel like I'm lying to myself. There are moments when I feel like my brain splits, as if this is my new personality. Or there are moments when I feel like it might feel liberating or freeing if I do it. I genuinely feel like this is not OCD. There are moments when I stop the thought, and I feel like it's out of principle, as if I don't truly want to stop at that thought. I truly can't picture this to be my life now. I never had these thoughts in my life until two and a half months ago. It truly makes me question whether it was OCD. I don't get why. I used to view my family as my world, and now my mind is making me scared and feel like my room is my only safe place from them, from me.
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