Hi, any other bisexual people struggling with SOOCD or ROCD on here? (Don’t know if this is reassurance or not)

Ahh I relate so bad and yes you are right about being really attracted to both but doubting if the attraction is fake or not. What scared me the most was loosing my attraction to men for a bit because I was so hyper focused all the time on trying to solve my thoughts. All the research I was doing really didn’t help especially after I read about comphet (barely related to it) and became terrified that my attraction to men all my life was fake. I’ve gotten past that now and realised that it was silly to worry about but black and white thinking really doesn’t help does it. I have not experienced TOCD but It sounds very difficult to experience.

@Bimmi I agree, I hope we get a well deserved break from all this rubbish 😂. With the fake attractions I used to really struggle with those. Even though I am actually attracted to women, I started freaking out thinking I was attracted to everyone I saw and felt like that towards all my friends. All the thoughts and urges were so uncomfortable and made me so anxious, but what you have got to do is to sit with the anxiety and challenge it. You laugh at it and continue to hang out with ur friends and gradually overtime and the anxiety and thoughts will go. I wish you well 🙂.

@Bimmi This happened to me with women. I have been with my boyfriend for 12 years now and love him more than anything else in the world but I remember feeling some attraction to women when I was younger, and I obsess and worry so much about what that means. I always labelled it as admiration as I never had any sexual or romantic desire to be with women and never wanted anything more from them but a hug, but you can never be 100% sure about these things, because the borderline is so fluid. But the thing is that I don't really understand why this has suddenly become such an important and anxietyloaded question for me. I never really minded the possibility of being slightly bicurious and wouldn't have to worry about not being accepted. my sister is a lesbian, so my family already went through a coming out 15 years ago and I saw her being accepted and loved by everyone. For a short while I was fine with the thought of being bisexual and that maybe this is the reason for my confusion and anxiety but then I also came upon the comphet stuff and spiralled into a full blown panic attack. I am also afraid to see women, meet female colleagues or see female bodies as it feels my obsession, sometimes it is enough to quickly noticing a woman passing me by without really looking at her to worry that I might be attracted to her, it's exhausting. I love to go to the sauna but can't stop to compare middle-aged male bodies to middle aged female bodies and try to figure out who is more attractive. It feels so stupid and wasteful. I don't care if I am not 100% straight but I can't stop worrying that I am just in denial about my "true, hidden and repressed" lesbianism 😏

Either that I am one or the other but can’t be both. It’s very hard especially when in a relationship. Usually, I have thoughts that I shouldn’t be with my partner and that I should be with the opposite sex and that I’m lying or in denial.

@Nat-M That's rough... Like, if you were with one gender you would be wanting to be with the other gender no matter what....

@Sparker1289 Pretty much, however it’s not really a want, it’s constant doubt. More of a need that I have to be 100% sure that I’m not lying to myself or anyone else, otherwise I have to check everything mentally for ages. I’m sure as anyone with any orientation that has SOOCD finds it very draining and depressing.