- Date posted
- 3y
My POCD has been flaring up in my head, I’m scared I’ve done something truly unforgivable in my past, I don’t remember ever doing this, but my brain is creating mental images that seem real, but I know for a fact I would remember such a thing vividly, I hope you feel better soon though
- Date posted
- 3y
I totally know what you are going through. Sounds to me like it could be false memory ocd which I’ve gone through as well. The best thing to do is accept uncertainty. I know I hate it too but it’s best to say maybe it happened maybe it didn’t and move on with your day. There were times I knew deep down that I didn’t do something but the more I thought about it, the more it added details and more thoughts and it just made everything worse. I hope you feel better soon and remember you are not alone
- Date posted
- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ Ig, like I remember the day in question, I did something I’m not proud of, I’ve told everyone and they just tell me to let it go and that it’s not the worst thing that I could ever do, but just as I seas starting to let go of it and accept and move on, my brain said but what if you did this also, what if that, and I’ve never questioned it before and my brain is creating mental images. Idk, it’s all really scary, but I’ll try to sit with the uncertainty, thank you
- Date posted
- 3y
Right now I’m dealing with 3 different themes all at once and it’s really scary. Pocd which is my main theme trying to convince me that I like/want my thoughts or I feel like I’m aroused by them. HOCD trying to convince me that I’m bi or a lesbian when I know I’m straight but it’s trying to tell me I have a crush on my friend and it’s telling me that because my niece and my friend are both blonde, that if I came out it would be because of my niece which is not true. So that’s freaking me out. And then harm ocd because my moms friend has stage 4 cancer and I keep getting intrusive thoughts saying really bad things about her and I would never want such a thing. Ever. So yeah I’m really done with OCD. But yeah like I said above just know you aren’t alone. We are all in this together. Just stay strong that’s the best thing we can all do
- Date posted
- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ You’re not alone either, OCD is really difficult, I can tell you’re a really kind and good person, just your OCD make you doubt it, I really hope you get through this, ERP is really difficult, but hopefully it can help
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCDHaver Everyone makes mistakes. But you learn from it. You grow from it and you let it go. I’ve done things I’m not proud of either and people have told me the same thing. To just let it go. It’s really hard when ocd tries to latch onto it and make it worse than it seems but you have to be kind to yourself and try to be your own friend. What if a friend of yours came up to you and told you exactly what happened to you? You would let them know the same thing. You would tell them yeah maybe it wasn’t the wisest choice but it’s time to take a deep breath and let it all go. The past is gone there’s nothing any of us can do to change it but we can change our future. The future is bright and full of memories to make and goals to reach. Don’t let it hold you back any longer. I hope this helps. I know what it’s like to feel so haunted by something in the past but worrying about it isn’t going to change anything. Hope this helps :)
- Date posted
- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ Wow, this was actually really helpful, thank you. I have definitely learned from it and would never wish to be that person again, I just want to help my family and friends in any way that I can now and be a good person. And I know reassurance isn’t great, but you seem like a very caring and kind person, I wish you didn’t have OCD, it really is the worst type of bully, I hope one day, these intrusive thoughts you’re having go away, I wish you the best!💜
- Date posted
- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ Also I know you’ve probably heard this before and I’ve been through it too. When you try to confess everything to everyone it becomes a compulsion and it adds to the vicious cycle of OCD. I have the same compulsion as well as reassurance seeking too. It’s easier said than done to not do it but it’s possible. Just gotta keep getting up and trying your best every day
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCDHaver I’m glad I could help! I can see that you are a good person and I wish you all the best. Thank you I truly appreciate that. I wish we all didn’t have OCD but unfortunately it’s something we have to face but the bully won’t win. We are all winners we just gotta stand up to it and work on our ERP. I hope whatever your struggles are go away too and like I’ve said, you are most definitely not alone. I know it’s hard when we get caught up in our heads and it feels like no one could ever possibly understand what we are going through but there are millions of people out there with the same struggles. I hope you feel better!
- Date posted
- 3y
Just remember that ocd is a liar, it has to feel real to keep you trapped hun
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I have all kinds of thoughts that aren’t me it feels like someone is talking to me telling me evil things about people or to do evil things 😞😞😞😞 I can’t do this anymore
- Date posted
- 22w
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
- Date posted
- 22w
I don’t even know where to start because there’s so much going on in my head and it feels like there’s so much evidence for every thought. Like my ocd feels like it doesn’t just have one specific theme it’s honestly every theme and it just switches throughout the day depending on the thoughts I have. This started all about a month ago, this whole ocd flare up. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd for about 3 years now and looking back on my childhood, I feel like I’ve had it for probably my entire life. My grandpa just recently died back in February and I feel like this whole ocd spiral is a result of dealing with grief especially because it didn’t even hit me for the whole month of April for some reason and things felt “normal”. But since this ocd flare up has started I’ve been constantly reviewing and revisiting my past, all my childhood memories and so many of them are terrifying which is weird because I never had a traumatic event hppen to me as a child. I feel like it’s always been “self-inflicted” trauma if that makes sense? My mind is telling me so many things related to so many topics like maybe I liked my family member as a kid and have just hid it to fit in with society? That my anxiety as a kid has caught up with me and I’m turning into a psychopath? That I’ve always been a creep and enjoyed looking at peoples privates or chests, etc but just ignored or allowed the thought this whole time. Also before this whole flare up I remember always feeling on autopilot and not really alive like everything I did I just felt numb about it. Which aids my ocd to tell me that these feelings are real and the thoughts are true and that I’m “waking up” or realizing or something. I haven’t felt such intense anxiety and distress since I was a kid and I didn’t even understand my own thoughts. It’s like I’m either hyper aware or totally unaware of what’s going on around me and it gets me thinking about my existence, personality, what my role in life is and like genuinely what I’m even doing in the moment like what’s the reason behind everything. I’m constantly questioning my intentions because I don’t know if they’re true or not and it’s like my ocd doesn’t even allow me to consider the thought it just jumps to conclusion. Like telling me I’m guilty before proven innocent. It honestly feels like so much at once to even simply call it ocd or anxiety because it feels like a crisis and any moment I could spiral and breakdown completely. Going to school everyday feeling like anytbing could trigger a panic attack at any moment makes me feel like I can’t be left alone with my thoughts. And like overall since I got down this rabbit hole, my first obsession was harm to myself, then it was harm to others specifically my family, then it was being a pervert or pedo, or being attracted or someone or something I shouldn’t be, which then makes me question my existence and who I am along with also being hyper aware of my facial movements like my eyebrows, nose, etc. Like why does ocd have to involve itself in every aspect of my life? It feels like there’s always something wrong that I need to fix.
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