Hello everyone Im 25 years old And i think I'm having my worst ocd episode ever And I'm really doubting if it is ocd or starting to be psychotic Long story short : everything started after my dad pass away 3 years ago I started to have overwhelming anxiety that wouldn't stop and panic attacks Then the fear of going crazy steped in especially to have schizophrenia I took two courses of medicine which made me better But last two months after I cut my medicine things started to be really distressing My ocd started to littearly affect everything in my life especially existenal ocd After that the same fear came again fear of schizophrenia which littearly made me super aware about everything .... Some symptoms started to come again as : Illusions Hypnogogic hallucinations (before sleep hallucinations) Misidentification people (when i see some one totally strange for the first sight i feel he is someone i know or he looks familiar) Existenal panic (when ever i think about existince and what it would be looks like if there is no existince i get like a little panic attack and strange feeling) At last feeling deattached for a while when being alone And strange feeling and anxiety while being alone and looking at a mirror .......... I've always been concerned whether I'm at high risk developing schizophrenia So i read that there are some scales from people who are schizophrenic describing their strange experiences So i read every scale (caarms ' anomalous self experience ' sips) And i just could relate Which lead me to continues fear and panic which I couldn't stop that im at prodromal phase of schizophrenia ..... And yes that turn the sh** out of me I started new obsession which schizophrenic patients would have Like delusional non existing ( like truman show syndrome) I've had an idea about whether what I'm living is the same as anybody else or it's just me in this life but that was 15 years ago maybe when i was ten ...... And now i really can't stop thinking that I'm delusional and i will stop comunicating with people and this world is just a big lie thing Im really okay with any scenario about existince i even accept that stimulation theory but the things is like if im delusional then im schizophrenic .... And at last this obsession feels so real to me I don't even know if i believe that im being delusional and think that everything doesn't exist as if the people are robots and im the only one Or because i read about that i strated to believe and obsses ... Please help me Im so helpless