I feel like Im being attracted to this therapist I may see soon. Ive seen his picture and spoken to him once and Im getting scenarios etc, no anxiety nothing. Just a little uncomfortable frankly idek what I feel when this happens Bizzarre thing is this happens with women too, like Id immediately start getting romantic thoughts with them and scenarios of me dating them and doing stuff, but the one with girls feel relatively nice although it becomes exhausting when it starts happening with every woman i see but the thoughts with guys feel more real and idk they just feel like they are more true and likely to happen This has to mean im bisexual right? Like it just feels like it is me, Im worried that Im full gay instead of bi though. Ughhh. Im so fucking sick of this.

But im not sure if I feel doubtful anymore or not. The maybe dosent work, if anything it feels like Im certain im gay.

@Imaan7 Okay so the fear is coming from somewhere. Is it fear of disappointing someone? Fear of not being able to have children? Somewhere in there, there is a fear that is absolutely paralyzing to think about. Target that. That’s the exposure you’re going to go for so that you can stop having intrusive thoughts

@Anon1294 I want to remind you, if those are parts of your fears… you need to unconditionally accept the future. That the future isn’t certain and you need to not be afraid of those things in order to recover

@Anon1294 Thank you although Im almost certain now Im not fully straight Ill try to find my fears.

@Imaan7 Analyze what scares you the most about potentially being gay. It’s not the end of the world really! Many people live long happy lives and learn how to navigate life being gay. But there’s something about it that scares you deeply. For me, it was being shunned by my family. And I recently told them I may be bi and they said oh okay there’s nothing wrong with that! And I was like that was it?!? I had panic attacks about that moment for years. And honestly I may not even be fully bi I’m just being true to how I feel and they supported it. So just remember your fears may feel like mountains but they’re really just tiny mile hills

@Anon1294 Well Im not really in a state to analyze but some of the fears I think are, forever changing into someone else( even though this one feels like I just want to change). never being able to love or feel for women or I guess only liking guys(which I already feel like I do). Feeling embarassment that im gay which makes sense since actual gay people feel that. Theres probably some more. But these dont necessarily have to be ocd fears do they? This could just be a questioning phase which makes me not want to see a ocd therapist, it hasnt felt like normal ocd In almost 7-8 months. Feel like I slipped into questioning/denial. Idk

@Imaan7 My suggestion to you is to live life and let the answer come to you as you live it. Don’t let fear paralyze you. For example you’re afraid your therapist may spark anxiety. But when you get to the appointment you’ll probably realize your worrying was for nothing because ocd will make you think you’re attracted to everyone. The more you expose yourself to the fears the more clarity you get, and then you’ll be able to decipher if it’s ocd or if it’s really your sexuality

@Anon1294 But the thing is it already feels like its a sexuality issue not ocd so why bother seeing an ocd therapist, if that makes sense. (Side note- I cant believe something like this has even happened to me.) Even just now I was driving back home and I was stuck in my head and had another strong realization that I want to act on my thoughts and would do it If i had the chance. I think I might just give up on therapy completely. Hope my brain fixes itself soon and if it dosent then I dont know what i would do.

@Imaan7 The thing is even if it was you just being gay, your obsessions to the thoughts and trying to “figure it out” constantly and it’s causing you distress so yes it turns into ocd