- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Start saying to yourself “may I am bi and that will be okay” “maybe I am gay and that will be okay” When I started accepting my “bisexuality” my OCD thoughts let up a lot. I still have times I feel 100% straight and sometimes I’m not sure, but those intrusive obsessive thoughts are gone
- Date posted
- 3y
But im not sure if I feel doubtful anymore or not. The maybe dosent work, if anything it feels like Im certain im gay.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 Okay so the fear is coming from somewhere. Is it fear of disappointing someone? Fear of not being able to have children? Somewhere in there, there is a fear that is absolutely paralyzing to think about. Target that. That’s the exposure you’re going to go for so that you can stop having intrusive thoughts
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anon1294 I want to remind you, if those are parts of your fears… you need to unconditionally accept the future. That the future isn’t certain and you need to not be afraid of those things in order to recover
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anon1294 Thank you although Im almost certain now Im not fully straight Ill try to find my fears.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 Analyze what scares you the most about potentially being gay. It’s not the end of the world really! Many people live long happy lives and learn how to navigate life being gay. But there’s something about it that scares you deeply. For me, it was being shunned by my family. And I recently told them I may be bi and they said oh okay there’s nothing wrong with that! And I was like that was it?!? I had panic attacks about that moment for years. And honestly I may not even be fully bi I’m just being true to how I feel and they supported it. So just remember your fears may feel like mountains but they’re really just tiny mile hills
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anon1294 Well Im not really in a state to analyze but some of the fears I think are, forever changing into someone else( even though this one feels like I just want to change). never being able to love or feel for women or I guess only liking guys(which I already feel like I do). Feeling embarassment that im gay which makes sense since actual gay people feel that. Theres probably some more. But these dont necessarily have to be ocd fears do they? This could just be a questioning phase which makes me not want to see a ocd therapist, it hasnt felt like normal ocd In almost 7-8 months. Feel like I slipped into questioning/denial. Idk
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 My suggestion to you is to live life and let the answer come to you as you live it. Don’t let fear paralyze you. For example you’re afraid your therapist may spark anxiety. But when you get to the appointment you’ll probably realize your worrying was for nothing because ocd will make you think you’re attracted to everyone. The more you expose yourself to the fears the more clarity you get, and then you’ll be able to decipher if it’s ocd or if it’s really your sexuality
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anon1294 But the thing is it already feels like its a sexuality issue not ocd so why bother seeing an ocd therapist, if that makes sense. (Side note- I cant believe something like this has even happened to me.) Even just now I was driving back home and I was stuck in my head and had another strong realization that I want to act on my thoughts and would do it If i had the chance. I think I might just give up on therapy completely. Hope my brain fixes itself soon and if it dosent then I dont know what i would do.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 The thing is even if it was you just being gay, your obsessions to the thoughts and trying to “figure it out” constantly and it’s causing you distress so yes it turns into ocd
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I don’t know if it’s SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and it’s like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I don’t want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I haven’t been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I don’t want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..
- Date posted
- 15w
Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.
- Date posted
- 6w
there is this guy in my university. i think he looks good. but since im so afraid of liking someone else, everytime i see him i have wild intrusive thoughts about him. everytime he looks at me i imagine the tension. i hate it so much i hate him so much. yesterday, i saw him look at me multiple times but i avoided the thought. after a while, the picture of him wanting me desperately came to mind again and i thought “what if he liked me and what if he came and told me that i want a relationship with you” and i imagined that. i instantly got pulled and felt like id wanna be with him. like really really wanna be with him. and simultaneously i was terrified of thinking that so in the back of my mind i was screaming NO NO DONT THINK THIS and it felt like i was falling off from a building. but i thought it again and i had the same feeling. I love my boyfriend to death, i feel like im betraying him. Am i? I realized after days of rumination, that I had no reason for my attraction. Its not like I had any kind of physical bodily attraction. I thought the face was nice. But I didn’t even know the person. Why would I feel such a strong urge to be with someone I don’t even know? I thought it was invalid, but I strongly think it is because I have projected a personality on him that I would want to be with. He held a meeting today. Hes my colleague in a club. I was in the meeting. For the first half hour, I was stressed because I hadn’t written down a thought I had previously had. I was doing my work simultaneously. I was talking to people simultaneously. When I paid attention to the guy, I thought “yeah see he’s just a normal person, plus he has an ugly voice” the minute I thought this, I turned into a fan girl of his fully and I loved the voice I felt like I had a crush. And then I panicked. I moved past it. After a while, while he was talking, a little girl screamed in the background. I immediately pictured his younger sister. Like I pictured him having a sister and she looked kindof yk like him. Basically my first instinct was oh she might be so cute. See I think he looks nice, so I kinda pictured him having a sister who was pretty and all cute like how he looked. And then I flipped out while at the same time getting a one second black out, after which I had flashes and images of him being a father and me being attracted to that. I just got random flashes of images and I felt attracted to that I think. Im not too sure. I don’t remember any feeling/ thought/ order at all. It kept on replaying in my head and while contemplating about it I thought it is probably cuz I don’t know anything about their personal lives so it feels enticing to know that they have a personal life beyond work(since they’re professional connections.). After this, I had a billion other thoughts of this sort. “why am I still thinking of him” “does this mean I like him” “who thinks that” *replaying the thought over and over* “maybe he likes me” all these situational thoughts. I can’t even ground myself by thinking about love for my bf. “I love him I want him so bad” “no you don’t” “he’s the best” “you don’t really think that” “how will u handle ur life other guys ur relationship ur hectic schedulel” “fuck up” “these thoughts r supposed to be normal” “its just attraction” “attraction for so long? Everytime u see him?” “youre gonna try to downplay the thoughts like u always do” “this is not normal” I just froze there crying till I couldn’t breathe for 45 minutes. Next morning, I woke up thinking its just something that is not important, I love my boyfriend so much I should put my energy here. I was then called in for a meeting. I pictured the guy just being in university and I felt like normal softness towards him, I got pulled. And then after a while I saw his fair through the online meeting I was worried ill think something wrong. Then I heard him talk to a girl and I was worried ill think im jealous and get jealous. Then after avoiding the thought for a while I got the thought, I felt like I was jealous. But at the same time I was so anxious because I didn’t wanna think like this. And after that I saw him again and I pictured me being with him there next to him in a flash and then I got anxiety and I’m here now.
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