Imaan7

Date posted: 4y

Major TW*** I had another realization that Im just in denial last night and it felt way too real to have been ocd and it felt like I was wanting to act on my thoughts, i mean it was nearly turning me on and arousing me but I contained myself. This time its definitely over, i cant believe its actually happened. The thoughts have become way to normalized in my head. But why do I feel so ßuicidal everyday and depressed? Is this a common thing when gay people realize theyre gay? Or are these 2 things separate, i think they are linked. I overslept again and have anxiety in the chest and its going to the same day as yesterday all over again, genuinely wish I d ïed somehow. How would an ocd therapist help me with this if my fears have already come true? I think I should give up on therapy completely.

BradOCD

Date posted: 4y

I can’t stop thinking about it. How do I pause just for a few minutes without doing and checking or rumination

jfount11117

Date posted: 4y

Guys…also remember that OCD causes massive doubt. It’s one of OCDs diabolical tricks. If it can get you to try and get assurance by doubt then you are feeding it. To start feeling better you MUST starve the monster!

Imaan7

Date posted: 4y

Any advice? Im not feeling well, can someone talk?

[Deleted]

Date posted: 4y

Comment deleted by user

Imaan7

Date posted: 4y

Should I still see an ocd therapist even if some of my fears have come true? I mean why should I if Im already gay and know the answers. If that makes sense Im also afraid that i will just be making a big scene of this all by telling my family im struggling and going to a therapist etc and I tried I could heal myself idk.

BradOCD

Date posted: 4y

Do you ever feel ‘okay with it’ and then realise that you’re just kidding yourself because deep down your uncomfortable with it and it’s almost like there’s comfort in atleast knowing you’re not okay with it

Imaan7

Date posted: 4y

Sometimes? Im not too sure how I feel deep down tbh. Think im just one of those rare cases of hocd.

BradOCD

Date posted: 4y

@Imaan7 Rare cases? Tbf me too. I feel like sometimes that this was some horrible and traumatic coming out process.

Imaan7

Date posted: 4y

@BradOCD I used to feel the same that this was a painful self discovery. But lately I think ive rationalized all this im going through is normal/natural for me, now I cant even use anything against it. The thoughts/feelings have felt way too real to have been ocd or a brain trick. Which is why I believe Im those rare cases of hocd that turned out different.

BradOCD

Date posted: 4y

@Imaan7 My thought feel too real all of the time. And the feelings that go with them. It genuinely feels like I’d be happy with a man and that I want to be. Sometimes it even feels like I don’t want the thoughts to go away because I’ve dug up so much evidence how could I ignore it again.

jfount11117

Date posted: 4y

So, r u taking meds to help? If you are not feeling a sense of relief from giving in to being gay then you are not at peace with it. If you aren’t at peace with it then this is ALL OCD. Don’t underestimate the power of OCD. It’s whole goal is to get you into rumination which obviously it’s succeeding

BradOCD

Date posted: 4y

But just reading that is triggering. Because sometimes it feels like it could make me feel at peace but I’m just too in denial to let it.

Imaan7

Date posted: 4y

@BradOCD Yeah I get that too man

jfount11117

Date posted: 4y

Bro I think you are looking at it way too closely. Is there anyway you can delay thinking about all this and give your mind a break. Sometimes this helps me

BradOCD

Date posted: 4y

But I’m so scared that If I let go of thinking about it I’ll become okay with it or even happy. Because that seems to be the way things are going but I hate it

Imaan7

Date posted: 4y

I cant, the feelings are too strong

jfount11117

Date posted: 4y

IMO this is ALL from OCD.

jfount11117

Date posted: 4y

It takes a lot of hard work but can be done. A little bit at a time. Do something like reading or something that requires you to utilize your mind.

jfount11117

Date posted: 4y

Another thing that helps is to track your checking and reassurance. It will become like a game

jfount11117

Date posted: 4y

REASSURANCE 6A-9A 9A-12P 12P-3P 3P-6P 6P-9P TOTAL= CHECKING 6A-9A 9A-12P 12P-3P 3P-6P 6P-9P TOTAL=

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