TW* First my sexuality now my gender??? What the fuck does my brain want from me? I thought I was a completely normal straight man before all this began but feels like I actually wasnt. These things feel way to real to be ocd, I can somewhat accept and live with the fact that I might be gay( I wanted to kms before If i ever felt like im turning gay but since my brain bombarded me with thoughts/feelings everyday it changed and now Im accepting it) is this going to happen with the gender thing too? Wtf Some gay girl here told me that its very common for gay people to realize they are not the gender they were born as once the realize their sexuality. What the fuck is this confusion? This is messed up. I feel like I already am my thoughts and just in denial,FML

2 nights ago I saw something on my phone and it has now spiraled into me scared of being trans or being gay because i don’t want to be… now i have a huge fear of what if i am gay and am attracted to woman or what if im not comfortable in my body and want to turn into a man. It’s freaking me out - my ocd always makes me question my character! Has anyone experienced this 😩

Is it normal for this theme to legit make you feel like you’re the opposite gender and that’s what you want to be and it’s very convincing? And you just keep getting images and scenarios in ur head of you transitioning and actually going through with it? This is sooo scary and i don’t feel like myself at all anymore. It’s making me not feel like a woman or myself of how I’ve always been my whole life. I’m really nervous and scared, it’s really make me feel like this is my true feelings/ self ): it’s causing me to feel weird k. My own body and feel weird about my body parts. Like my brain is literally thinking as a trans person would feel or think like wtf??? Is this normal?!? Pls someone let me know. & and it’s making me feel like I’m attracted to woman all the sudden and i keep getting flashes of that in my head. I’m in a relationship and im scared this is gonna ruin things bc the way this theme is making me feel and my body. Ugh ihml, need some advice. Has anyone experienced exactly this??

Last night I took my meds to help me sleep and I kept waking up throughout the night with thoughts like “I’m really a lesbian now” or “I’m ok with it now, this is what I prefer”. I really feel like everyday for a couple of days now, I’ve woken up feeling more and more like my preferences have completely changed. The first few days was major anxiety, panic attacks, then I had a really bad double-bind and reversal spiral, and I became a little bit calmer since then. Now I feel like I’m managing the thoughts without anxiety or panic like I’m used to, but now it feels like I really want them and that I’m ok with it. Like I don’t care anymore. But the thing is, in between all of the mini spiral episodes I’ve had, I had these little moments of clarity like “I’m not giving up on my fantasies of men” or “I’ve always wanted men, that doesn’t just change”. But last night I’ve had really sexual dreams that I’m having trouble interpreting. I had one where I think it was me sleeping with a guy, but I woke up frantically because I think the roles got reversed, but I’m not sure. Another one I was a random woman with a husband, but I think the roles got reversed again so I woke up immediately. Both times it felt like arousal. Obviously I still care somewhat if I’m still here asking, but my brain or maybe me (I’m really not sure anymore) is telling me that I’m a lesbian now and I prefer it. It’s like I don’t care and want it now. It’s like I’m not even feeling confusion about it. I don’t know if it’s because of the meds, I’ve been distracted (family in town), because I’m in maybe quieter stages after two bad spiral episodes, or because I’ve really changed. It’s literally like I think being a lesbian will be enjoyable now but I don’t want that, even if my brain (and body apparently) keeps telling me that. I was told that ocd doesn’t change who you are, but now I’m worried that what I thought was background noise leading up to another spiral was suppressed self discovery (I’ve had two major soocd episodes in my life: late high school and now a few years later).