- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
I can relate I have the same Problem now with going on dates and meeting people, I wonder if I’m just fooling myself and I need to figure it out before I can be with someone or that it’s going to come out and ruin it later on which takes the excitement of connection out of it for me it’s disheartening
I totally get that. It feels like I’m just going to keep faking it until I finally accept it. And I always get this weird feeling in my stomach too
And I’m Indian so it feels even scarier, like I could never be in a heterosexual relationship like everyone else
Yeah like a sense of Imposter syndrome or that your just doing it for no reason and there’s no purpose because deep down your Lying to yourself
Lol does it ever really go away. I feel like I’ve been feeling this feeling for a long time, but worse these days
And usually I’m like oh it’s the OCD again but today it’s like WHAT IF ITS JUST REAL
It’s not truth. It’s the OCD telling you the thing you fear, is the truth. You’ve thought about it so much, you’re numb to it, and when you’re numb to it, you wonder why you aren’t anxious anymore. Desire and fear are not the same, no matter how flattened one might be. You’re on a group chat right now, in fear of that being true. You’d be secretly happy and not stressing on a forum if you all of a sudden turned gay. That just doesn’t happen out of the blue. It’s the OCD. You can’t convince yourself 100%, so it eats you alive.
Lol the sad part is that something like this would have given me so much comfort at the start but now it “feels like you’re trying to convince me I’m not” or that “this doesn’t apply to me” :’(
And eventually the truth will come out so I shouldn’t get too close or excited
And then I feel like I’m hiding something because I have all this back n forth going on behind the scenes and if I tell the person they won’t want something to do with me in the same way they might’ve so now I’m trapped in myself while I’m with them fighting this silent battle that lingers in the background over everything
Like a secret
I FEEL THAT like how would you tell someone new about it and not feel like a fraud
and it’s got me in a sour anxious down mood today
Yeah I’m sorry to hear that I can totally relate
I really dont know if it is ocd anymore I dont want certain sexual things with my bf anymore that i used to like When i envision it with a girl it is so easy to envision and it feels like i want that , that will give me the satisfaction This feeling is making me really question if i am still into men , desire men sexually Is this still ocd , i really dont know anymore , as it is a feeling it is too real
I don’t know if it’s SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and it’s like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I don’t want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I haven’t been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I don’t want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond