Wrote an email to this therapist that I may see soon? Idk for sure, but I asked him to guide me on what I should do. Frankly speaking I dont have any hope, I think I already know whats going to happen and what my future looks like. I just feel sad that my fears are true now and perhaps Im only sad bc Im not accepting and embracing it properly and once I do those Ill even be okay with it. I can even envision these things like wtf man. I feel like I unlearned everything about myself and now im starting from beginning. I feel very disheartened.