Does anyone identify as bisexual and experience Sexual Orientation OCD? When I was younger, I genuinely thought I was straight, and being attracted to non-men (I say that to include people who fall outside of the gender binary) was such a taboo that I would get intrusive thoughts about it. However, as I got older, I realized there was nothing wrong with being attracted to non-men, so the anxiety decreased, and my curiosity increased. I decided to explore my sexuality about a year and a half ago, but the moment I started to explore, I began experiencing doubt that I was feeling anything at all towards non-men, and constantly felt like I had to prove those feelings to myself. I did end up meeting someone (they use she/they pronouns for context), fell in love with them pretty quickly, and was in a relationship with them up until recently, but I was riddled with doubt the entire time. My SO-OCD and Relationship OCD unfortunately played a significant role in the breakup, as my ex-partner constantly felt like she had to prove that she was worth being with, and I constantly felt like I had to prove my feelings to myself. It was exhausting for us both. Human sexuality is naturally a very ambiguous thing, and can be confusing even for someone without OCD, so for someone WITH OCD, that uncertainty can be intolerable. Then once the doubt sets in, it’s impossible to feel much of anything, and it’s hard to make any progress with self-exploration. It’s felt impossible to explore and understand my sexuality in a healthy way, and it felt impossible to be present with my partner. Deep down I know that I am so in love with her. They are my person, I have genuinely never felt this way about anyone. I want nothing more than to be with her again, but I want to get a handle on my SO-OCD and ROCD (amongst other things unrelated to OCD, of course) before I entertain that. If anyone has experienced anything similar to this, I would really appreciate hearing from you. Thanks for taking the time to read, and I hope you’re having a peaceful evening❤️

Spritepapi

Date posted: 4y

You’re post really caught my attention, I’m a cishetero male that has been struggling with SO-OCD for some time but the intrusive thoughts come but go when I use ACT, I was just interested with your post because most SO-OCD discussions are normally hetero focused so I would like to know what your intrusive thoughts/urges are as a bisexual? Would you be okay sharing them?

Kay Fay

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

Hi! I appreciate how kindly you approached this, I would be happy to let you know what they’re like. I am sure it varies from person to person, but for me it’s usually thoughts like “What if I’m not actually attracted to non-men? What if I’m actually just straight and doing this all for attention? What if I just really like this person as a friend? What if I’m lying about my attraction to this person and I end up hurting them?” It honestly overlaps a lot with my ROCD, probably because I was in a relationship for a good chunk of the time that this has been going on. I don’t get much in the way of urges because rather than tricking myself into believing I am attracted to certain genders, I trick myself into believing I am not attracted to certain genders. Or I should say, the OCD tricks me into these beliefs. And that doubt kind of numbs me to all of my feelings. I get like, the opposite of an urge.

Spritepapi

Date posted: 4y

@Kay Fay Wow that’s wild and also very intricate it’s almost a polar opposite of my thoughts, the combination of so-ocd and rocd is a deadly combo that I’ve also experienced and I tell you it’s a pure guilt trip. Thank you for sharing and no problem I’m just interested to see how this affects people on a person to person basis on the spectrum of sexuality

Spritepapi

Date posted: 4y

@Spritepapi Btw I hope everything works out between you and your person

Kay Fay

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

@Spritepapi Happy to share! The better we can understand this illness the more hope there is for recovery. I agree that the combo of ROCD and SO-OCD is awful - I was constantly riddled with guilt and anxiety, and even still find myself feeling that way post-breakup. Thank you for your kind words, I hope everything works out too❤️

Whatabtme

Date posted: 4y

Yes! I'm bisexual with soocd you're def not alone

Kay Fay

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

This is so helpful to hear, thank you for your comment :)

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond