Does anyone identify as bisexual and experience Sexual Orientation OCD? When I was younger, I genuinely thought I was straight, and being attracted to non-men (I say that to include people who fall outside of the gender binary) was such a taboo that I would get intrusive thoughts about it. However, as I got older, I realized there was nothing wrong with being attracted to non-men, so the anxiety decreased, and my curiosity increased. I decided to explore my sexuality about a year and a half ago, but the moment I started to explore, I began experiencing doubt that I was feeling anything at all towards non-men, and constantly felt like I had to prove those feelings to myself. I did end up meeting someone (they use she/they pronouns for context), fell in love with them pretty quickly, and was in a relationship with them up until recently, but I was riddled with doubt the entire time. My SO-OCD and Relationship OCD unfortunately played a significant role in the breakup, as my ex-partner constantly felt like she had to prove that she was worth being with, and I constantly felt like I had to prove my feelings to myself. It was exhausting for us both. Human sexuality is naturally a very ambiguous thing, and can be confusing even for someone without OCD, so for someone WITH OCD, that uncertainty can be intolerable. Then once the doubt sets in, it’s impossible to feel much of anything, and it’s hard to make any progress with self-exploration. It’s felt impossible to explore and understand my sexuality in a healthy way, and it felt impossible to be present with my partner. Deep down I know that I am so in love with her. They are my person, I have genuinely never felt this way about anyone. I want nothing more than to be with her again, but I want to get a handle on my SO-OCD and ROCD (amongst other things unrelated to OCD, of course) before I entertain that. If anyone has experienced anything similar to this, I would really appreciate hearing from you. Thanks for taking the time to read, and I hope you’re having a peaceful evening❤️

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

Anyone who has had sexual orientation OCD since the “dating age” (middle school/high school)— how did you ever determine your sexuality? I don’t want reassurance because I understand our experiences may be different. I’m just curious— did you try boys and girls? Did you just find your person and know? I started having SOOCD at age 16 and I’m now 28. OCD has ruined my ability to date more than anything else. I feel like it stole my chance at love. I’ve had three long-term situationships with men. I adored them but they were also toxic because I think I subconsciously didn’t believe I deserved better. I felt that if I knew the relationship wouldn’t work because of fundamental differences, at least it was okay that I couldn’t fully be present in the relationship. Not sure if this makes sense, but I’m just grieving that part of my life I missed out on.

I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲