- Username
- BetterDays
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Once you become used to constantly dealing with ocd, on a good day, it seems weird. Like you're missing something, ironically, that ends up triggering it. Or it may seem like you want the thoughts when its not true.
I felt this when I’m having a good day I feel weird and that’s when I’m constantly hyper aware of my emotions that ends up triggering the intrusive thoughts again and depersonalization. I feel this happens because I have gone too lone with OCD that I have tied it to my identity.
@CHZ I do believe this is exactly what happens. How long has it been since your ocd became full blown? For me its been about 3yrs, Im 28, and Ive always had ocd tendencies, but Ive lived longer without it than with it and I cant get out of the hole.
i relate. ive been dealing with my obsessive thoughts for almost like a year and a half. and whenever i have days where, for the most part, my obsessions aren’t bothering me…. i know it’s too good to be true. i know i’m gonna end up falling into my patterns of ruminating and self sabotage. for me, its like i gave a big part of myself away to these obsessions, so when i don’t have them for a little bit, it feels weird… like “a piece of me is empty”
I feel like for me the piece I feel like is missing is self love. Because I feel like somehow I don’t deserve to be happy.
Same, its a very tough place to be in.
The absence of anxiety to a mind formed in existential fear is a strange feeling. For me, on good days, there's a bit of a meta-suspiciousness about the longevity of the goodness. I think that as time goes on, and the good days become increasingly the norm, the part of you that feels empty will be filled with the acknowledgement that feeling anxiety isn't necessary for your survival anymore. As well as that, as Hhrose1 mentioned, these feelings can derive from a feeling of not deserving to get better. It could be beneficial to journal your thoughts and feelings on those days to see what's actually happening in your mind to animate the overall emptiness feeling. OCD is ultimately a disease of low self-love and self-trust at it's core.
i’ve had the same thing happen to me. in actuality, for the last couple of days. i’ve moved across country with very good friends. i’ve recently been feeling so much better about having new beginnings, and moving to a completely different state, and leaving my parents place, then all of a sudden, my mind starts to ruminating on harm ocd and it’s definitely made me more anxious about the move in general now and makes me question my identity as a whole. it’s so disabling to the point where it makes me want to run away and harm myself from hurting others.
Hey, I haven’t been on here in a longgg time and this isn’t necessarily OCD related but I want to tell someone how I’m feeling in the hopes that maybe someone else sort of relates and then maybe we can talk? I don’t know, I’m just a little scared at the moment and could do with some comfort I guess. Ok so the best way to describe how I’m feeling is empty. I’m not sure that I actually feel emotions much anymore. I’m not happy or sad and it’s scaring me, but obviously at the same time it isn’t because the only proper emotions I’m experiencing right now are hopelessness and emptiness. I just want to be able to feel again and I really don’t want this to be a big problem. Does anyone know if it’s even possible for me to get my emotions back? Can I back to normal, although I’m not too sure how normal feels anymore, or how feeling feels anymore. Also, I’m not even sure if that is what’s going on with me. I can barely feel things but at the same time my brains like nah it’s probably nothing, you’ve just not got any reason to feel anything right now. I feel exhausted and without motivation everyday. Thank you to anyone who’s read this, I hope nobody relates but please tell me if you do. I just want to talk.
I am doing great! I don’t know why I am doubting myself. But I just feel like I’m missing something? OCD is making me doubt if I am missing tools, I know I’m doing it right, acknowledging thoughts and continue doing what I am doing, not mentally checking my body or for thoughts, focusing on the present moment, sitting with anxiety, exposing myself to my triggers, even when OCD says NO, I still DO IT! but it feels like I am missing something, although I am better than where I was in September , MUCH BETTER, I’m scared that I will stay in this place because it seems so simple, even though sometimes it is SUPER hard to use the tools sometimes, I don’t know, I don’t want to be stuck in this same place I want to get even better if that’s makes sense? I’m scared if I stay in this same place I am, I will get discouraged and go back into depression where I was in September ? Anyone else done this?
I have this issue that I need help with and I would like to hear if anyone else has gone through something like this along with any tips. A few months back I had what was arguably my worst OCD episode in my whole life, it lasted a whole week, in this week I felt nothing but constant anxiety and obsession over this thought, it was like nothing in life mattered except this thought and that lead me to really become disconnected from what’s around me and become so occupied in my own head. After this week, I felt extremely numb and disconnected from myself and my identity which lead me to go down a spiral of disconnection and I had a lot of nostalgic sadness due to thinking “I miss the old days when things were so simple and I didn’t have severe ocd” and this caused me to become very sick of ocd thoughts to the point of suppressing them. Now it’s been quite some time and I have become much calmer but I still feel 2 main things from this extremely bad OCD episode that have stuck with me. 1) I feel extremely disconnected from my identity, my thoughts and emotions, I cannot name my emotions nor embrace them anymore and I can’t think straight (brain fog). 2) that sense of continuous background anxiety that I experienced in that week in my bad OCD episode has stuck with me and now I feel that anxiety all the time for no particular reason along with feeling dull, sad and disconnected. I feel like I have unresolved emotions and experiences from all this but at the same time I feel like I can’t point out anything specific that is causing me to feel this way. I have searched up symptoms for generalised anxiety disorder because of my continuous anxiety but I do not seem to match any of the symptoms, in fact I currently never feel anxious about anything except things related to my bad OCD episode. Please do not hesitate to leave any helpful comments if you have any :) and thank you in advance.
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