- Username
- holley
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Here's how I thought about it (even though very scary)... I would force myself to think "What if I AM living in a dream right now?, what would be so bad about that?" That's where I started to break down those irrational fears & beliefs that come with OCD... For example, derealization & existential OCD scared me so much because I had a fear of loss of connection, a fear or death, a fear of losing touch with the ones I love. I worked on it a ton and just thought about how yeah, living in a dream would be very confusing and scary, but could I live with it? Yes. Would it be ideal? No, but I could handle it and navigate my life whilst knowing that. Think about worst case scenario, and then think about why that would be so scary and bad.
Hey I used to smoke weed but it made me depressed. It helps some but its not for everyone. It can cause serious paranoia and when you have OCD it's really not helpful. Everyone is different but from my experience it made me depressed. Something that helped was I got a cleanse from the store to rid any weed in my system cause it stores in the fat cells and can still be in your system for months. Perhaps doing that cleanse that rids it quicker could help.
thank you!
Do you remember what cleanse you did?
Keep trying! I like to take things one moment at a time instead of focusing on the future state of feeling better, because that makes me feel like I’ll never reach that and like the road to recovery is so long. You’ll be there before you know it, you’ve got this!
i just feel like i’m stuck like this forever and it’s very upsetting i don’t understand why it’s lasted this long, isn’t derealization supposed to last for just a few mins or hours?
@holley I’m sorry I’m not sure :/ Maybe it’s the fear of derealization that’s making you feel this way (that’s the “obsession” part of OCD). Definitely something to talk to your therapist about, but just know that you’re not alone!
take care 🙏
My existential OCD latched after a bad panic attack while smoking weed, causing me to experience derealization for the first time ever. I freaked out, thought that I was losing my mind / dying until the high wore off, and then freaked out that the feeling of derealization wouldn't go away. I obsessed over it, with derealization latched on 24/7 for a year and a half. It was scary, uncomfortable, and all I could think about was getting rid of the feeling. My best advice is to allow and accept that the derealization and the fear may stay there for a while. You've been living with it for this long and although extremely scary & uncomfortable, you are surviving. Don't obsess about when it will go away. Focus on living your life and doing everything you would normally do, even with the fear. Push yourself to not let it control you. My derealization and existential obsessions disappeared completely over time once I was able to accept feeling uncomfortable.
i just can’t imagine mine lasting for a whole year. hocd lasted that long and now i don’t even think about it but it’s just like is it actually dp/dr or just existential ocd yk? like mine happened just like that but i just don’t want it to last even another day it’s so fucking frustrating. how did you accept that uncomfortable feeling? abd do you still experience it at all like did you just wake up one day and it was gone??
At the time I couldn't imagine it lasting for a whole year either. But we can all handle it! Sure, it's not comfortable and it's the scariest feeling I've ever had, but I worked on accepting that I can still live life and enjoy things, even if I feel like my surroundings aren't real or I'm "in a dream". It's all just fear. It didn't go away all at once, it was a pretty gradual process, but once I accepted that perhaps I'd live the rest of my life like this, that time didn't feel so bad. It doesn't matter if it is dp/dr or if it's existential ocd, those are all just technicalities. You just focus on being comfortable with these sensations, one day at a time. Jordan Hardgrave (anxiety ninja) on youtube / instagram helped me tremendously.
idk how i could possibly accept that that’s so scary even though we both knew smoking weed once wouldn’t have caused a perceptional change in our surroundings and somehow we’d been living in a dream the whole time. it just feels that way.
@holley I know it seems unbearable but take it one day at a time. You don't need to figure it all out right now. Everyday you can start to accept the feelings more and more, facing triggers such as the matrix movies, black mirror etc. and soon you will be able to tolerate the sensation of derealization.
I found that I was experiencing existential OCD, not derealization, when my surroundings felt “off”. I would obsess over the idea that everything around me may not be real, even though I was accurately perceiving what my surroundings looked like, felt like, smelled like, etc. The feeling that comes with dp/dr and existential OCD is SO scary, so hang in there! But, know you are safe no matter what❤️
Hey Holley, I’m sorry you’ve been feeling bad! I call that the “panic attack hangover” where it can really rattle you for awhile afterwards. What helps me is understanding that my panic attack is my body’s way of trying to protect me from a perceived threat, whether it’s real or imagined. This saying helps me tremendously: “You were made to come back into balance.” This feeling will not last forever and you will get through it.
i know i just don’t understand why it’s lasted this long :/ i’m trying !
its happening with me as well when i smoked weed but after 3 months suddenly that scene of communication came in my mind when i was high and started feeling the same again……it is worse i cant differentiate that i am alive or dead it feels like hell it feels like everything is unreal and it is life after death…
hi! super late to this post but in case you’re still looking for help I wanted to chime in. this exact situation happened to me! it’s what actually triggered my panic attacks and led to me getting diagnosed with OCD. something that really helps me is holding my nose and breathing in. in real life you will not be able to take a breath but in dreams you will be. i find that this really grounds me! hope this helps! ps i’m on fluvoxamine 250 mg which has helped me a bunch but I’ve also found my way back to weed without any problems. :)
My anxiety/OCD got SO bad that I had a derealization episode. Scariest thing that has ever ever ever happened to me. If anyone has ever been there, please let me know. I have no idea what to do and am scared I’m losing my sanity :-(
I don’t normally make posts like this but if anyone can relate or has advice so I don’t feel so alone I would appreciate it! I feel like crying and I’m so anxious. So I’ve been dealing with an ocd flare up since February. It started out as contamination and harm after I had a really bad experience on a edible. The contamination mostly centered around the fear of someone accidentally giving me an edible to someone putting it in my food or water. Then it went from there to my Brian going you know what’s worse than edibles? LSD. So then I obsessed over that and it’s been like that on and off. I’ve had an extremely hard time with it it’s been one of the worst themes I ever had. I don’t eat certain things. Especially sweets. I avoid them. I avoid taking medication Bc I’m scared. I limit myself. I’m horrible about opening water bottles and if it doesn’t open just right I won’t drink out of it. I know it’s crazy I know it’s untrue but the panic I feel traces back to that night. I don’t ever want to feel that out of control again it scared me so bad I got diagnosed with ptsd (to be fair I had a lot of unresolved trauma that caused my glass to overfill) well, I’ve been going to EMDR therapy it’s got my ptsd under control but the ocd is louder. My ocd is clawing to stay alive. I’ve started to have intrusive thoughts now about my boyfriend might slip something into my water even though ITS NOT TRUE. So then I panic because the thoughts are so irrational that I get scared like why would I ever think that about him???? But the intrusive thoughts are so jarring and I don’t want my ocd to focus on him now! I need advice! I’ve been prescribed pristiq but haven’t taken it Bc you guessed it.,.. I’m scared to! I can’t go on like this! The thoughts are so irrational it scares me even though the rational side of me knows it’s not true but I guess that’s ocd. We get scared of the thoughts even though we know it’s not true and I know it’s my brain trying to keep the ocd going. I know therapy must be working otherwise my theme subjects wouldn’t have changed so fast. I’m so tired of this.
Out of nowhere 2 weeks ago I started feeling like I was tripping on drugs. (I haven't touched a drug since 2012 because of a horrible trip I experienced..) 2 weeks ago I was at Walmart and I felt like I was dying. I felt double. I felt like I was out of body almost. (This is exactly what I felt when I smoked k2 in 2012..) Panic attack came. Since then I haven't felt the same. I can't stop thinking about it and feeling this way. All I feel is despair. I can't shake it. Is this OCD?? I struggled with harm OCD before this happened. But honestly this is worse.
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