- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 3y
I agree! Bc I’ll have a random intrusive thought pop in my head n if it involves harming someone I’ll play the scenario in my head. I’ll twll myself “well if it causes u distress but u don’t cry that means u wanna do it” :(
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah I randomly started having terrible POCD intrusive thoughts and they make me absolutely sick. I feel like a terrible mom even though I know who I am and I know I would never ever want to harm my kids, my brain makes me check to make sure constantly. It comes from my childhood trauma I think. But I get the same terrible thoughts like “what if I really am a terrible person and this isn’t OCD” It’s the absolute worst 🙁
- Date posted
- 3y
feel this so much. ocd is so good at building mistrust in ourselves
- Date posted
- 3y
Thats exactly what I tell myself. N then if the thought keeps repeating in my head it makes me think I want to act on it😭 then I’m like “I don’t think this is OCD” wven tho deep down ik it is
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mama2324 Yes exactly it’s terrible 😣
- Date posted
- 3y
When I dove really hard into ERP in August, the first couple weeks I was making really big progress and I was really proud of myself. And thennnn once I started realizing my anxiety was going down but I was still having intrusive thoughts, I started to completely spiral out of control and my OCD was like “see!! I told you that you’re a monster and you really like the thoughts!! There is no help for you and you need to end it” and I felt the darkest I have ever felt during my decades long battle. That was back in August and I am happy to say today that I have a much better handle on things and I am continuing ERP every single day. OCD is a f***er and ERP is not easy and you are going to doubt yourself over and over again. Part of the ERP I do now is “yeah maybe I don’t have OCD maybe I do 🤷♀️” and sit with how uncomfortable and gross that feels while still showing your self compassion and acceptance. Literally the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. Sharing my story because I know how common it is to have these thoughts and these feelings about yourself and how dark and isolating and alone it feels. I promise you are not alone! And you are worthy.
- Date posted
- 3y
That sound like such hard work😔 I know unconditional acceptance helps to eliminate the fear but it’s so hard to accept some of these terrible thoughts it goes against everything I’ve ever known. This is the hardest struggle I have ever dealt with
- Date posted
- 3y
I believe you and I have been there and am even there currently. Every day is a battle when you have OCD. I don’t want to give you reassurance so I will just say that you are absolutely not alone
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
i’m having a full on panic attack, i never used to be like this, what tf is happening to me, why am i like this, i’m so convinced i’m a horrible person and i deserve to be shut out forever because of my thoughts, i’m tired of struggling with harm ocd, i’m scared that because i have mental health issues i’m gonna end up ki!!ing someone someday or end up on the news, when i was at work earlier i kept thinking “how easy would it be to ki!! someone and get away with it” someone help, i don’t feel normal, am i crazy?… 😭😭i know that with ocd you’re not supposed to have reassurance and you have to be “okay” with the situation but.. how am i supposed to be okay with feeling like i could hurt someone…
- Date posted
- 24w
My child was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt them that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow towards her groin area) but it came across my mind to elbow my child, and I elbowed their crotch or side area. Which caused another unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out and asked my child to move. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be theirs anymore. Idk what overcame me, and in the moment, it felt like I wanted to move my elbow, but I know that can also be my OCD speaking. Right? I clearly regret it all and hate myself. I would never intentionally hurt my child; I don't know what happened in my head when this happened. I was doing SO well! Is this my POCD that I've been diagnosed with by my OCD specialized therapist? Just a struggling mom who used to be the best of the best. I'm very depressed by this. Idk what to do with myself. I live in regret now, and I just wish it would've never ever happened. I can't stop ruminating and being depressed thinking I don't deserve anything.
- Date posted
- 19w
I dont know whats going on. I dont know if its OCD anymore. I know it was in the beginning. Ive been through a lot of trauma and had one little scary thought of killing my sister 4 months ago that has blossomed into this giant idea of me being a serial killer and wanting to hurt everyone (I never had any social issues growing up but I have had some trauma). Recently I’ve been having urges to just give in. And my mental images have been horrible and I can’t stop checking if I like them or not. I think I’ve convinced myself I have. This morning I woke up a shaking mess with an urge to unalive my family and when my mom left for work I was alone with my sister and couldnt stop vomiting uncontrollably. I dont know if i’m upset because I cant hurt anyone and I want to, or if I’m scared and just want my old life back. I was an avid horror and gore lover and now I’m convinced I want to do the things I’ve seen in the movies. Someone please help. I’m ready to check into the psych ward.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond