- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
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- Date posted
- 3y
I agree! Bc I’ll have a random intrusive thought pop in my head n if it involves harming someone I’ll play the scenario in my head. I’ll twll myself “well if it causes u distress but u don’t cry that means u wanna do it” :(
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah I randomly started having terrible POCD intrusive thoughts and they make me absolutely sick. I feel like a terrible mom even though I know who I am and I know I would never ever want to harm my kids, my brain makes me check to make sure constantly. It comes from my childhood trauma I think. But I get the same terrible thoughts like “what if I really am a terrible person and this isn’t OCD” It’s the absolute worst 🙁
- Date posted
- 3y
feel this so much. ocd is so good at building mistrust in ourselves
- Date posted
- 3y
Thats exactly what I tell myself. N then if the thought keeps repeating in my head it makes me think I want to act on it😭 then I’m like “I don’t think this is OCD” wven tho deep down ik it is
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mama2324 Yes exactly it’s terrible 😣
- Date posted
- 3y
When I dove really hard into ERP in August, the first couple weeks I was making really big progress and I was really proud of myself. And thennnn once I started realizing my anxiety was going down but I was still having intrusive thoughts, I started to completely spiral out of control and my OCD was like “see!! I told you that you’re a monster and you really like the thoughts!! There is no help for you and you need to end it” and I felt the darkest I have ever felt during my decades long battle. That was back in August and I am happy to say today that I have a much better handle on things and I am continuing ERP every single day. OCD is a f***er and ERP is not easy and you are going to doubt yourself over and over again. Part of the ERP I do now is “yeah maybe I don’t have OCD maybe I do 🤷♀️” and sit with how uncomfortable and gross that feels while still showing your self compassion and acceptance. Literally the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. Sharing my story because I know how common it is to have these thoughts and these feelings about yourself and how dark and isolating and alone it feels. I promise you are not alone! And you are worthy.
- Date posted
- 3y
That sound like such hard work😔 I know unconditional acceptance helps to eliminate the fear but it’s so hard to accept some of these terrible thoughts it goes against everything I’ve ever known. This is the hardest struggle I have ever dealt with
- Date posted
- 3y
I believe you and I have been there and am even there currently. Every day is a battle when you have OCD. I don’t want to give you reassurance so I will just say that you are absolutely not alone
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Im sleeping over my boys house and im having bad thoughts to hurt him and it’s like I can see myself acting on it. I never want to hurt anyone… I hope someone can comment or give me advice as I lie in bed watching crime documentary. It messes with my OCD creates false fantasies
- Date posted
- 25w
Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!
- Date posted
- 24w
Please comment. Just say if follows along the OCD pattern or not. I don't need reassurance per se! My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt/a**aulted her that I might as well do something else to hurt because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it because my mind told me I had hurt her already ("my mind literally made me question what to do and I guess the only thing I could come up with was using my elbow) and causing another feeling but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side/thigh area. Which caused another very unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. And I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me but my therapist says it's all OCD. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD? This has all caused me a great amount of anxiety. I feel like a terrible person and mom. I just need help knowing if this is OCD. Not wanting reassurance. Just wanting to know if this lines up with the POCD I've been diagnosed with by my current therapist.
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