I have consumed so much different information on attraction and love and intimacy etc from places I really shouldn’t be looking and I’ve made myself extremely extremely confused to where I feel completely lost. I compulsively compare myself to things I read online to see if I feel the same way and then later I subconsciously compare those things again or get intrusive thoughts about the thing I don’t want. I may have also overly complexed certain emotions or be unintentionally exaggerating on them because I’m so desperate to figure out what they mean. This is the most real/confusing it has ever ever felt and I’m not even sure it’s ocd anymore. Has anyone else ever done this to where they feel genuinely confused and completely unsure of their feelings while also completely numb to anything positive? Almost like I’m living through my fears and seeing/feeling nothing else. I have a headache just typing this

I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts lately and after a lot of research, I’ve learned to just let them happen. But now, I’m scared that since I’m not having anxiety or crying over it, it must mean that I like the thoughts or that I don’t find them bad. I know that this in itself is OCD. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, but I have been speaking to a specialist over email to set up an appointment. I don’t feel like myself anymore, my brain is so full of questions and thoughts that I can’t even figure out what they are. It feels so foggy and I feel so lost. Does anyone else ever feel this way? I’m all alone in this and I’m just so confused.

Really thought about whether or not to post this but I’m really struggling and wondering if anyone has gone through the same thing/what helped them out of it. I have fears of psychosis/schiz/delusions and I started having intrusive thoughts that sound and feel delusional even though I know they’re not true, and I don’t actually believe them. I obsess over whether I think they’re true and if I’m actually delusional, then I start to feel really disconnected and dreamy (like derealization?) but then I get worried that I’m actually dissociating and/or losing my mind. I rly struggle w these thoughts as they make me so uncomfortable and make me feel like I am delusional. I will reread things I wrote, rethink things I have already said to make sure they’re coherent, argue w my thoughts, constantly check to make sure I know who I am, where I am, know who my family is, etc. to ensure I’m not losing my mind. My themes switch from this, to harm ocd and I’m just really having a hard time w the thoughts mixed w the disconnected feeling. It makes me want to stay in bed forever and cry because I don’t wanna feel this way anymore. Any advice would be so helpful.

Has anyone here ever experienced significant complex trauma in different aspects of life that seemed to have happened at once, which triggered existential thoughts, questioning everything, not being able to make sense of just about anything, feeling like you’re just so disconnected and still doubting that these are understandable things to experienced after going through trauma? The problem I am having right now is obsessing over why I feel the way I do. Why I don’t feel like myself. I keep asking myself “Is it PTSD/CPTSD? Is it OCD? Is it depression and anxiety? All of the above?” Not knowing is eating away at me. Not only that, what distresses me even more and makes me feel even more hopeless and helpless, are thoughts of “what is even real? How are we supposed to feel, think, be? Everyone else around me seems to have it all figured out. Why am I stuck in my own head?” Not being able to grasp onto anything that makes sense is such an isolating feeling. Can anyone relate?