I need some help. Yesterday, I was getting ready for my shower, and my friend facetimed me. I only showed my face because I wasn’t dressed right obviously. At the moment I saw nothing wrong with this because I obviously just was going to show my face. Now though I am freaking out because I feel like I did something by dirty because she is 3 years younger than me. I had no intentions of anything weird AT ALL. I am just so worried like what if I accidentally showed something. I just saw she was face timing so I picked up and of course only showed my face. I have a something really scary that is coming up and I am absolutely petrified that God is going to punish me during then because of this. I had NO bad intentions and I obviously only showed my face. I don’t know what to do. Is this POCD or am I a disgusting monster?

I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety and uncertainty I think I’m really struggling right now. I was in my alone time (self pleasure) and obviously like whenever you’re doing your thing you might have fantasies or whatever and that’s what came into my mind in the moment and then all of a sudden I get a flashback from a scene from pretty little liars came into my mind where Emily kisses Ali on the neck. In pilot actor who played Allison was 12 years old, which the pilot was the first episode I believe but in the rest of the season of season one she was 13 and that flashback was in season one as well after the pilot and I’m really worried that I might have self pleasure to myself to that scene even though I knew all this time that she was 13 in that scene and I don’t feel comfortable because I’m 16 and even though like it’s not too much of an age gap it’s still polished me and I’m scared to death right now, but I didn’t panic immediately because I think I somewhat kinda knew in the moment that I probably didn’t do anything bad but I am not 100% sure and then the more I thought about it, I started to panic even more and now I’m panicking even more now and I feel like a really big pedo, and I keep searching and googling and trying to check for her age to see how old she was in that scene and I’m pretty sure she was 13 but I promise I wasn’t intentionally thinking oh yeah I’m gonna self pressure myself to this scene regardlessof her age. No, I’m just afraid I probably did without even like realizing or registering the thought in my mind, but then at the same time I kind of feel like maybe I was just coexisting with a thought and now I’m scared I’m really scared guys.

I hope someone can respond... Im genuinely so triggered and so anxious... Dr disrespect was accused of inappropriately messaging and sending explicit images to a minor, and trying to meet up with them at twitchcon... my POCD is saying that my situation with me venting about 18+ explicit HOCD stuff to people in the PM's on an OCD groupchat I found from NOCD, including the minors, when I was 19, means that I am just as bad as they are... or worse... I pm'ed them from the support group and vented to them in private (including the minors) about my 18+ explicit HOCD struggles... one was uncomfortable by it so i stopped venting to her after she told me she was uncomfortable by it twice... the other gave me reassurance so i kept asking her for reassurance for my 18+ hocd struggles... I dont ever want to ever be attracted to minors in any way... I dont ever want to ever engage in any inappropriate relations with minors in any way... i dont ever want to EVER be a MAP, a P, or a gro*mer in any way... I dont ever want to be what my pocd says about me... im so scared... someone said that I need help, that I need to turn myself in, and that im hiding behind a diagnosis because of this situation... i genuinely feel so hopeless... I dont ever want to ever be a monster...

I’m worried about times when Child P*rn or suspicious porn videos have come up in the past. I tend to use Twitter for porn and it’s not the most moderated app out there but I was never looking for videos or pictures or anything related to that. Unfortunately stuff still has popped up and I’m just worried about if my reaction was perfect because I have intense POCD I want to say it’s nearly as severe as it can get so I just feel as if I remember times when something suspicious came up and I stayed for a moment to make sure I wasn’t attracted or maybe left and came back to be sure I was safe and didn’t like it and I’m afraid this counts as seeking out or engaging in illegal content that would get me in trouble. I’ve never once looked this stuff up and anyone who creates saves distributed or likes this stuff I believe deserves prison time for life but I’m just so worried that I didn’t react in the way I should’ve I’m 20 years old so I’m relatively young and I’m jus worried about what this means about me any one else deal with anything similar?