- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Judging from the comments, unfortunately this is a common thing that happens to people, including me. Like one person already said, I found porn when I was only a middle schooler and that lead to pretty awful things. An addiction, warped perspective of overall sexual health, taboo videos, really impulsive decisions with other people my age all the way through to high school. I even get false memories about this same thing. Definitely some of the worst things to happen to me that I can think of but I'm glad I've made the conscious effort to keep it out of my life and basically never go into it again. This stuff fades overtime and you'll eventually be able to forgive yourself slowly
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah, I’m trying to stay away from porn too, especially after I saw something horrific on YouTube, but thank you, I’ll try to stay away
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCDHaver That makes both of us then. In October 2020 I was still trying to cope with porn and ended up seeing some fucked up shit deep inside YouTube by accident. Never again. I honestly don't need to rely on something like porn and I'm glad I made that decision this year. Definitely try your best, but don't feel bad when you relapse back into it. All that matters is you keep trying and don't give up completely.
- Date posted
- 3y
I did the same thing pretty much, I found porn when I was way to young and was exposed to sexual things so I became addicted to it, even reading fanfics and stuff..I watched and read some disgusting horrible sinful things ..they even made their way into my day dreams and fantasies..I hate it now so much. I even did things I regret ..it makes me feel what I have isn't ocd..that I'm a monster. Your not alone and from what i read .. It sounds like false memory, please ignore it and don't give into any compulsions. Sit with the anxiety and it will fade away over time! :)
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you, and I’ve done a lot of bad things as well, but hopefully we can move forward from this
- Date posted
- 3y
Watched what I think were similar anime/hentai things that triggered my OCD as well. Unrelated to the Big Mouth thing but still. I doubt what I’m going through is OCD because of it a lot of times. It’s my biggest stumbling block to recovery. I can’t tell you whether you did or didn’t do something for sure (you probably didn’t btw) But what is important is that you’re not alone, and you’re getting treatment. Even if it feels like it isn’t beyond a shadow of a doubt, it really is just OCD. And you’re not what you’re afraid you are. You’ll get through this.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you, I'm just really scared, I also something horrible last night, unintenionally, and had to call the suicide hotline. My mom took my phone away because it serves as a compulsion. I don't know, I'm terrified though, because I don't look at anyone younger than two years and think they're attractive, so sometimes that helps, but then I remember some gross stuff like animated porn I used to watch and get really scared, some say it's because of that whole thing that the more you watch porn, the more hardcore stuff you watch and that again, they're just drawings, but I get terrified, my heart is beating 1,000 miles a minute right now
- Date posted
- 3y
First thing you have to do is take a few deep breaths and try to relax. I’m sorry you had to call the suicide hotline, and I hope you and your family will do everything to keep you safe. I’ve been there before and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. And yeah the OCD gives false attractions and false urges as part of it. It’s rough but it can be treated and overcome. And Porn addiction can work that way. And I know it’s not going to be helpful to say things like “it wasn’t anything like the real thing at the end of the day” or “you know it’s wrong and you stopped”, as thats been told to me many times by virtually everyone I know and it hasn’t made the shame and confusion go away. But you have to keep going and getting the help you need, have faith in yourself and in the work, you’ll be able to overcome this. You’re a good person. Try to keep reminding yourself of that.
- Date posted
- 3y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you, I’ll try
- Date posted
- 3y
The show itself was graphic and I may be making a false memory, but idk, I'm really scared and my heart is pounding
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety and uncertainty I think I’m really struggling right now. I was in my alone time (self pleasure) and obviously like whenever you’re doing your thing you might have fantasies or whatever and that’s what came into my mind in the moment and then all of a sudden I get a flashback from a scene from pretty little liars came into my mind where Emily kisses Ali on the neck. In pilot actor who played Allison was 12 years old, which the pilot was the first episode I believe but in the rest of the season of season one she was 13 and that flashback was in season one as well after the pilot and I’m really worried that I might have self pleasure to myself to that scene even though I knew all this time that she was 13 in that scene and I don’t feel comfortable because I’m 16 and even though like it’s not too much of an age gap it’s still polished me and I’m scared to death right now, but I didn’t panic immediately because I think I somewhat kinda knew in the moment that I probably didn’t do anything bad but I am not 100% sure and then the more I thought about it, I started to panic even more and now I’m panicking even more now and I feel like a really big pedo, and I keep searching and googling and trying to check for her age to see how old she was in that scene and I’m pretty sure she was 13 but I promise I wasn’t intentionally thinking oh yeah I’m gonna self pressure myself to this scene regardlessof her age. No, I’m just afraid I probably did without even like realizing or registering the thought in my mind, but then at the same time I kind of feel like maybe I was just coexisting with a thought and now I’m scared I’m really scared guys.
- Date posted
- 19w
I'm 17 years old I struggle with addiction I have a problem when I masterbate I have intrusive thoughts idk if I think them I'm so scared also back then I know when I was younger I looked at obscure things hentai all that my idk what to do even I feel like I'm a monster or im a bad person I need help I feel so distraught I feel like I can't live life to the fullest anymore even from last year I looked at content that was animated but it had a character in it that was underage I felt so ashamed and felt like a monster I had a compulsion to check it only to find out they are not around my age range idk what to do I probably sound like a freak I'm sorry I'm always trying to replay my memory and try to remember my intention and what I was doing how I come across how I was doing a action yk all that
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- Date posted
- 16w
I’m worried about times when Child P*rn or suspicious porn videos have come up in the past. I tend to use Twitter for porn and it’s not the most moderated app out there but I was never looking for videos or pictures or anything related to that. Unfortunately stuff still has popped up and I’m just worried about if my reaction was perfect because I have intense POCD I want to say it’s nearly as severe as it can get so I just feel as if I remember times when something suspicious came up and I stayed for a moment to make sure I wasn’t attracted or maybe left and came back to be sure I was safe and didn’t like it and I’m afraid this counts as seeking out or engaging in illegal content that would get me in trouble. I’ve never once looked this stuff up and anyone who creates saves distributed or likes this stuff I believe deserves prison time for life but I’m just so worried that I didn’t react in the way I should’ve I’m 20 years old so I’m relatively young and I’m jus worried about what this means about me any one else deal with anything similar?
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