- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Judging from the comments, unfortunately this is a common thing that happens to people, including me. Like one person already said, I found porn when I was only a middle schooler and that lead to pretty awful things. An addiction, warped perspective of overall sexual health, taboo videos, really impulsive decisions with other people my age all the way through to high school. I even get false memories about this same thing. Definitely some of the worst things to happen to me that I can think of but I'm glad I've made the conscious effort to keep it out of my life and basically never go into it again. This stuff fades overtime and you'll eventually be able to forgive yourself slowly
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah, I’m trying to stay away from porn too, especially after I saw something horrific on YouTube, but thank you, I’ll try to stay away
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCDHaver That makes both of us then. In October 2020 I was still trying to cope with porn and ended up seeing some fucked up shit deep inside YouTube by accident. Never again. I honestly don't need to rely on something like porn and I'm glad I made that decision this year. Definitely try your best, but don't feel bad when you relapse back into it. All that matters is you keep trying and don't give up completely.
- Date posted
- 3y
I did the same thing pretty much, I found porn when I was way to young and was exposed to sexual things so I became addicted to it, even reading fanfics and stuff..I watched and read some disgusting horrible sinful things ..they even made their way into my day dreams and fantasies..I hate it now so much. I even did things I regret ..it makes me feel what I have isn't ocd..that I'm a monster. Your not alone and from what i read .. It sounds like false memory, please ignore it and don't give into any compulsions. Sit with the anxiety and it will fade away over time! :)
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you, and I’ve done a lot of bad things as well, but hopefully we can move forward from this
- Date posted
- 3y
Watched what I think were similar anime/hentai things that triggered my OCD as well. Unrelated to the Big Mouth thing but still. I doubt what I’m going through is OCD because of it a lot of times. It’s my biggest stumbling block to recovery. I can’t tell you whether you did or didn’t do something for sure (you probably didn’t btw) But what is important is that you’re not alone, and you’re getting treatment. Even if it feels like it isn’t beyond a shadow of a doubt, it really is just OCD. And you’re not what you’re afraid you are. You’ll get through this.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you, I'm just really scared, I also something horrible last night, unintenionally, and had to call the suicide hotline. My mom took my phone away because it serves as a compulsion. I don't know, I'm terrified though, because I don't look at anyone younger than two years and think they're attractive, so sometimes that helps, but then I remember some gross stuff like animated porn I used to watch and get really scared, some say it's because of that whole thing that the more you watch porn, the more hardcore stuff you watch and that again, they're just drawings, but I get terrified, my heart is beating 1,000 miles a minute right now
- Date posted
- 3y
First thing you have to do is take a few deep breaths and try to relax. I’m sorry you had to call the suicide hotline, and I hope you and your family will do everything to keep you safe. I’ve been there before and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. And yeah the OCD gives false attractions and false urges as part of it. It’s rough but it can be treated and overcome. And Porn addiction can work that way. And I know it’s not going to be helpful to say things like “it wasn’t anything like the real thing at the end of the day” or “you know it’s wrong and you stopped”, as thats been told to me many times by virtually everyone I know and it hasn’t made the shame and confusion go away. But you have to keep going and getting the help you need, have faith in yourself and in the work, you’ll be able to overcome this. You’re a good person. Try to keep reminding yourself of that.
- Date posted
- 3y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you, I’ll try
- Date posted
- 3y
The show itself was graphic and I may be making a false memory, but idk, I'm really scared and my heart is pounding
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I’m worried about times when Child P*rn or suspicious porn videos have come up in the past. I tend to use Twitter for porn and it’s not the most moderated app out there but I was never looking for videos or pictures or anything related to that. Unfortunately stuff still has popped up and I’m just worried about if my reaction was perfect because I have intense POCD I want to say it’s nearly as severe as it can get so I just feel as if I remember times when something suspicious came up and I stayed for a moment to make sure I wasn’t attracted or maybe left and came back to be sure I was safe and didn’t like it and I’m afraid this counts as seeking out or engaging in illegal content that would get me in trouble. I’ve never once looked this stuff up and anyone who creates saves distributed or likes this stuff I believe deserves prison time for life but I’m just so worried that I didn’t react in the way I should’ve I’m 20 years old so I’m relatively young and I’m jus worried about what this means about me any one else deal with anything similar?
- Date posted
- 23w
Hi everyone, I'm struggling with what I think are intrusive thoughts, possibly related to OCD, and I'm hoping someone here might relate. When I was younger, in my early teens, I went through a period where I had a strong interest in pornography. During that time, I encountered hentai involving male characters, related to an anime I enjoyed. One of the characters was someone I even looked up to. I feel incredibly uncomfortable admitting this, but I believe I engaged in sexual activity related to it. Years later, I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts about this. I feel intense self-disgust and shame. It's like this memory has "tainted" my ability to enjoy that anime, and sometimes other things. I'm constantly replaying the situation in my mind, questioning my past actions, and worrying about what it means about me. The anxiety is significantly impacting my life. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts focused on past events, particularly those that cause feelings of shame or disgust? How do you cope with the constant replaying and questioning? I'm looking for support and understanding. Thank you for listening.
- Young adults with OCD
- Students with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
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- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- False Memory OCD
- Real Events OCD
- Date posted
- 14w
*tmi warning* I'm so worried im a P. Ive been crying daily unable to do anything else but ruminate over my real events. When i was 14 (before ocd) i was watching adult content and it was censored. The woman had similar features like hair and skin color as my niece. I remember noticing that and saying "huh i guess I'll imagine that as the adult version of my niece" and I did and after i was finished i moved on and didnt think anything was wrong. I dont know if i ever thought about that again? Its so blurry ocd keeps saying i did it again in a different time but i dont remember its too blurry and its scaring me so badly! I didnt even remember this till like literally last week and i wanted to die! Im 20 for context. When I remembered i immediately broke down in tears. I vaguely rmemeber this other thought i had of her when self pleasuring when I was 16??? I think it was a testing thought out of distress? But im not sure at all! It was extremely vague image and unrealistic i dont think I liked it but maybe i did?! Im so distressed its like i remmeber 2 versions of this particular event which is why I think its ocd false memories from there. Ive been ruminating and spiraling for almost a week. I keep crying i havent ate well at all in days ive been honestly dehydrating myself and i cannot sleep. I feel like a monster. I did the mistake of researching last night and kept comparing myself to the "criteria" of those sickos and like I felt so distressed. I also have been asking ai for hours on end everyday. I feel so distressed im literally crying rn as i write this i cant calm down i feel like this sick individual even tho I dont even like thinking of that at all i dont think I meant ill intent when i was a teen but its killing me inside. I would NEVER harm anyone nor want to or plan to, deep down i know I would never act out in those evil ways but like whats killing me is what if im attracted?! Is this a sign?! Am i one of those people?! Am i attracted to my niece bc of those 2 maybe even 3(??)thoughts years ago?! Did i mean ill intent?! Am I an actual danger?! Am I a monster??? I have so many urges to confess to my mom im so scared what this all means or could mean. I feel so alone and scared. Like legit whenever i get intrusive thoughts about gross stuff i feel disgusted and anxious and push it away. Those thoughts do not bring me pleasure whatsoever but this real event is making me doubt my own identity 😔
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