I need an interpretation. My ex left me for a week. Than after less than a week, he came back saying that he is soo sorry and he want me back. He made me felt really wanted again. A week passed and I saw him distancing himself; I asked and he said that he really want me and he didn't came back to leave me again. Today; after like 2 weeks, he said that he doesn't see a future with me, so he will never became my boyfriend again. BUT than, he said that he enjoy going out with me; and he want to keep date and hook up Me. I asked if it was because mabe he stopped liking me, or being attracted and he said no, that he likes me, even in that way. I asked him if it is because he doesn't want to now my problems because he didn't care, or because he had loose hope, nd he said that no, he will be there to listen to it, and also that he is sure that I will resolve them. He said that he still enjoys when he see me. He simply doesn't want to be my boyfriend. And he even wanted me to go out with him tonight. That make 0 sense for me. He want a future without me, staying with me without being committed to me! WTFFFF

okay, so when i first started getting involved with guys, i wasnt really the nicest person when it came down to it and so, i started talking to this guy. His name in this is gonna be James well I liked this guy, and yk I was just there, I didn’t really like relationships or anything. Wasn’t big on them whatever. Well his friend Jeremy starts taking an interest into me. So I’m like why not? And go for it. And when I did he wasn’t my type at all. I wasn’t attracted to him, like maybe at the time I like had to convince myself he was attractive. And you know, he wanted to get together, this was my first sense of a relationship at all. But I didn’t fantasize about being with him or anything and like hardly thought about him also But we wasn’t together? Just talking. And he’d like talk to other girls. And just everything like that whatever. Well he got with this girl named Mallory and I like was upset. And so I homewrecked it. But when I did I was glad the attention was back? But he asked for a relationship I didn’t want it. And I homewrecked a few more times, and well then. Me and this girl became friends. I forgot about this guy for like months. And then randomly one time I was at his cousins house for an event. And he was there with a different girl. And I was just hanging out with him? I wanted him to find me attractive and what not. But I didn’t want romantically involved with him? well, then we go out of contact for a year, I meet other guys, don’t think about this dude at all. Whatever I get in a relationship with a guy and then break up, and i talked to this guy who slightly looked like jeremy and my sister brought it up. but i only talked to the guy because i wasn’t supposed to? so it made me want to more. and i thought about jeremy once, not missing him or anything still not thinking about Jeremy then I get with my current boyfriend, who I’ve been in love with for two years now? Been together 5 and our past was really horrible a lot of girls and what not guys too? But then. We get together whatever, I love it. I was always worried about other girls, if I’m in love, if this is what I want?, and everything like that, and then it was like everything I did? I’d tell him, talking to a guy, getting intrusive thoughts about them whatever. Then I get an intrusive thought about Jeremy. and it was like horrible. something about his arms? And it’s like my boyfriend told his friends. And his girlfriend found out. the same one I homewrecked my bestfriend, and then it was horrible like the past coming back, and I hated it and I avoid seeing this dude, talking to him, I’d look at him just to see if I’d get the anxiety in my stomach like I couldn’t look at pictures videos or in person without getting sick but I’d feel the need to look? For the feeling of anxiety and the sickening feeling, and I’d tell my boyfriend everytime I looked at him or anything it was horrible, well then it gets horrible, intrusive thoughts about leaving my boyfriend, or comparing him to my boyfriend, or wondering things, or that it’s feelings, and I’d just drive me crazy, like i wont get phone cases, he had or looked similar, emoji’s he used. or anything like that i wont wear his favorite color absolutely nothing. like crying on my boyfriends chest over it. And we broke up over it. The thoughts went away for the couple of hours, I didn’t think of them or anything but as soon as me and him broke up I looked at a pic of Jeremy to see how I felt then I didn’t think of anything else I just wanted to be back with my boyfriend, now we are back together and it’s still happening and the guys name just pops up if I’m like “I love my boyfriend” his name pops up. Or randomly out throught the day, I forgot about it for a little then I’m fine but I went to a therapist and she said intrusive thoughts and ocd and another said that plus anxiety but I need help. I need answers or what other people think. I’ve looked into everything I’ve puked and made myself sick over it so much it’s been a little over a month now. it’s died down after he got a buzz, and school let out. But idk what it is. and my mind constantly wants to figure out the past? and tell me that if i unblock him it will get better? idk. i think in the past it was a false crush?? or something. or i just enjoyed the validation and attention from him.. but when he called me nicknames id be like “omg!!” and freak out? like i cant rmb in a good or bad way. i didnt remember it until my friend mentioned it. please help me.

my name is isma, i am 19 in nyc. i met this amazing guy at the beginning of the year, we hit it off immediately and he really stood out to me. i recently broke up with him because i feel like if id put him thru a lot if he’d stay with me. i recently came out to my parents and it wasn’t voluntary. i was caught with him and then had to reveal that i was gay. my parents didn’t take it too well. i felt uncomfortable and a little scared to be at home for some days. that settled in a week and both my parents told me they were acceptant but in the end it just felt to me like if they accepted me but they just didn’t wanna know about it anymore in a sense of just avoiding touching on the topic. now me and my boyfriend, i was going thru a lot and he gave me all his attention and was there for me whenever i had to vent or just cry because of everything going on. it’s crazy to think that at 19 years old id be coming out to my parents when at the start of the year, i never thought that’d be something id end up doing. ive never been open about my emotions or a “soft” person because i was never able to be myself at home and with my parents. sometimes i can’t even hug anyone. i find it hard to speak to strangers that r not my friends. i’m very picky when it comes to making friends. i feel like my thoughts are all over the place and im very indecisive. i miss my boyfriend and i wanna go back with him but im scared that ill ruin things again. before him, i was stuck in hookup culture and thought that by hooking up w a guy i was interested in, he’d wanna stay with me and get to know me. i was used many times and ive also used people many times. i’ve been done dirty and ive done people dirty, i dont think of myself as a good person but i felt loved and deeply cared for by this guy. he lives in nj and i live in ny. sometimes he’d even surprise me at work and i cried the first time he did. i felt so special and in awe because i would’ve never thought i could get so emotional over a small gesture. to me it wasn’t a small gesture. it was everything because he came from all the way in nj to ny just to see me for a couple of minutes. i hate the way that i am. i am unconfident, i think i am so ugly, sometimes i question how he found me attractive to date. i overthink everything, i cried one time imagining him coming to see me in ny then having to go home so late back to nj, i dont think im worth it and i felt like i didn’t deserve that and maybe it’d be better if he found someone near him. i also compared myself a lot with him. he’s such a kind spirited person, he’s always smiling and i on the other hand get told i look sad or anxious. i am i pretty negative person and that just adds on to me being an overthinker. i always thought someone as happy as him deserves another happy person and not someone who gets mad or agitated easily. i wish i can be more for him, i do miss him a lot and i plan on talking with him again. i just wanna talk everything out, even if we don’t date for sometime, i wanna be around him and know we’re gonna get back there again someday. he’s the best person that’s came to my life, i know ppl may say to let it go and see it as a learning experience but i don’t wanna move on if it’s not me moving on by his side. i really do wanna be with him i just wanna get my head clear. i don’t know what to do, im stuck

So yesterday I was spinning out because I watched a video about relationships that made one of my old obsessions return. For some context, this is about my ex, we broke up about 2 months ago, but went back to being friends a week later. Talked for a little bit but then stopped, and about 3 weeks ago he reached out again to say hi, I haven’t responded to him. What led to the breakup? I told him how I liked the attention I got from some creepy guy (I didn’t flirt with him, I told him to back off and everything, my problem was that I liked the attention and that I didn’t leave right away and stood around longer than I should have). And he figured it was because he’s been busy with work and school and thought his lack of attention to me was behind it. But I think (and I never told him this) it’s because I just liked the feeling of being wanted ( I hate saying that). that creepy guy is an emotional support volunteer from 7 cups. I came there because the night before, I had an argument with my ex that left me feeling pretty upset and unheard and I really wanted someone to talk to, but didn’t know who to go to. I was hoping I’d be set up with someone I would trust to be professional and compassionate, as you can see that didn’t happen. That guy started asking me weird questions, I don’t exactly remember what he asked but he said something really weird, I think he asked if I was in Highschool or something?? I forgot. I do know he was trying to hit on me after I made it CLEAR I was in a relationship. I told the guy to back off but he just didn’t stop. In the moment I realized I was kinda liking the fact that he wanted me??? Idk what the heck that was but I DID NOT like that, and tried to shove it aside and continue the conversation. That was wrong because in turn that just fueled that gross feeling, even though I tried desperately to erase it and forget it wasnt there. On top of that I was bewildered and almost amused by how absolutely absurd all of this was, I mean why would someone hit on someone who’s in a RELATIONSHIP whilst they’re in such a vulnerable moment?? It was so manipulative and disgusting. I tried to magnify those two feelings (the bewilderment and the amusement) because I was feeling a lot of disgust and shame for the other feeling (liking the feeling of being wanted). All of that had me stick around longer than I should have and it feels so gross and wrong.. The conversation lasted very briefly because eventually the guy left after I told him I wasn’t willing to cheat on my ex with him. when I came to my ex about liking the attention from that guy and how the interaction went down, I knew my exs lack of attention wasnt the reason behind why I liked it and why I stayed longer than I should have. And when my ex told me it was the reason why, I didn’t speak up and explain that wasnt true. I should have done it in the moment but I was scared (not an excuse) to tell him because I didn’t want him to get mad at me or yell at me (also not an excuse). And now I’m once again thinking I should confess all this to him so that he doesn’t feel like it’s his fault… idk if I should or shouldn’t idk if he even blames himself for the breakup or if he beats himself over it, or if he’s done with it and he’s grieved it and moved on. Idk if it’s necessary now.. but I’m spinning out over it because I can’t seem to let go of this.