I need an interpretation. My ex left me for a week. Than after less than a week, he came back saying that he is soo sorry and he want me back. He made me felt really wanted again. A week passed and I saw him distancing himself; I asked and he said that he really want me and he didn't came back to leave me again. Today; after like 2 weeks, he said that he doesn't see a future with me, so he will never became my boyfriend again. BUT than, he said that he enjoy going out with me; and he want to keep date and hook up Me. I asked if it was because mabe he stopped liking me, or being attracted and he said no, that he likes me, even in that way. I asked him if it is because he doesn't want to now my problems because he didn't care, or because he had loose hope, nd he said that no, he will be there to listen to it, and also that he is sure that I will resolve them. He said that he still enjoys when he see me. He simply doesn't want to be my boyfriend. And he even wanted me to go out with him tonight. That make 0 sense for me. He want a future without me, staying with me without being committed to me! WTFFFF

Longer post, but please, I need some guidance. I thought that my thoughts relating to relationship OCD were taking over. But, my bf started treating me differently. I tried to have a conversation and communicate this worry. He then texted me that he had actually been feeling distant for a month and has been meaning to tell me. But “we’re fine now.” I spiraled. Later in the week, he went quiet after a disagreement. After he promised we were okay and he was okay, I found later he was texting a mutual friend (female) that I was crying again. She said that it was fucking insane and other hurtful things about me. He said he lost his trust with me because I looked through his phone and saw that message even though during the whole relationship we had a mutual understanding that we had nothing to hide from each other and he always assured me that I could look through his phone at anytime. It’s ok for boundaries to change in a relationship, but it wasn’t communicated and I was harshly reprimanded. During the texting chain with the mutual friend he also said that “she just has no idea.” When I addressed this, he then said that for the past month, he actually felt he didn’t want to be in a relationship, but still loved me. I’m ruined. I had the same thoughts in January and knew I loved him. I found out it was ROCD (through this app) and told him the day after the realization because it was eating at me. So him saying I wouldn’t understand and telling other seems unjustified. I would’ve been the most understanding. Any help would be appreciated greatly.

I'm 20F, recently my 20M partner broke up with me. It was not a quick and done break up, it was more of a "we're not working" and a "we can fix this" and just non stop switching. From both of us. I don't think he is trying to hurt me, or even trying to lose me. He's an avoidant, runs from any sign of conflict or serious discussions. So ultimately, he stopped showing any sort of emotion, and completely started acting like nothing bothered him. We still text, in all honesty this is not anything to do with me or even our relationship, he's just in a very poor mental state. He doesn't have a ton of people he trusts, because of the fact he pushes people away. I'm trying to gain his trust, so that we can get to the point of a true discussion and let him feel like it's okay to break down those avoidant walls. I'm kind of going through hell though. But I know it's not an issue with me, I know it's about him. And I'm okay sticking around and comforting him even while I'm hurt. He cheated on me earlier in the relationship. Over social media, texting past girls he knew, hooked up with, or even strangers, and watching porn. I obviously was extremely hurt, but his apology was very sincere and ever since that happened, he actually abided by all my boundaries I set up. No social media, no bars, nothing until I trust him. He did listen and he did put in the effort. I've forgiven him for what he did. He told me in the beginning he has trouble committing. I'm his longest relationship, which was only about 5 months. I want to be able to get it to him that I will walk away if he does not commit to changing. If anyone is an avoidant, or has successfully healed with an avoidant please reach out. As much as you'd like to say "You're worth more, leave him.", he is a good person. He needs help and I care for him. Leaving is not an easy option for me to make

okay, so when i first started getting involved with guys, i wasnt really the nicest person when it came down to it and so, i started talking to this guy. His name in this is gonna be James well I liked this guy, and yk I was just there, I didn’t really like relationships or anything. Wasn’t big on them whatever. Well his friend Jeremy starts taking an interest into me. So I’m like why not? And go for it. And when I did he wasn’t my type at all. I wasn’t attracted to him, like maybe at the time I like had to convince myself he was attractive. And you know, he wanted to get together, this was my first sense of a relationship at all. But I didn’t fantasize about being with him or anything and like hardly thought about him also But we wasn’t together? Just talking. And he’d like talk to other girls. And just everything like that whatever. Well he got with this girl named Mallory and I like was upset. And so I homewrecked it. But when I did I was glad the attention was back? But he asked for a relationship I didn’t want it. And I homewrecked a few more times, and well then. Me and this girl became friends. I forgot about this guy for like months. And then randomly one time I was at his cousins house for an event. And he was there with a different girl. And I was just hanging out with him? I wanted him to find me attractive and what not. But I didn’t want romantically involved with him? well, then we go out of contact for a year, I meet other guys, don’t think about this dude at all. Whatever I get in a relationship with a guy and then break up, and i talked to this guy who slightly looked like jeremy and my sister brought it up. but i only talked to the guy because i wasn’t supposed to? so it made me want to more. and i thought about jeremy once, not missing him or anything still not thinking about Jeremy then I get with my current boyfriend, who I’ve been in love with for two years now? Been together 5 and our past was really horrible a lot of girls and what not guys too? But then. We get together whatever, I love it. I was always worried about other girls, if I’m in love, if this is what I want?, and everything like that, and then it was like everything I did? I’d tell him, talking to a guy, getting intrusive thoughts about them whatever. Then I get an intrusive thought about Jeremy. and it was like horrible. something about his arms? And it’s like my boyfriend told his friends. And his girlfriend found out. the same one I homewrecked my bestfriend, and then it was horrible like the past coming back, and I hated it and I avoid seeing this dude, talking to him, I’d look at him just to see if I’d get the anxiety in my stomach like I couldn’t look at pictures videos or in person without getting sick but I’d feel the need to look? For the feeling of anxiety and the sickening feeling, and I’d tell my boyfriend everytime I looked at him or anything it was horrible, well then it gets horrible, intrusive thoughts about leaving my boyfriend, or comparing him to my boyfriend, or wondering things, or that it’s feelings, and I’d just drive me crazy, like i wont get phone cases, he had or looked similar, emoji’s he used. or anything like that i wont wear his favorite color absolutely nothing. like crying on my boyfriends chest over it. And we broke up over it. The thoughts went away for the couple of hours, I didn’t think of them or anything but as soon as me and him broke up I looked at a pic of Jeremy to see how I felt then I didn’t think of anything else I just wanted to be back with my boyfriend, now we are back together and it’s still happening and the guys name just pops up if I’m like “I love my boyfriend” his name pops up. Or randomly out throught the day, I forgot about it for a little then I’m fine but I went to a therapist and she said intrusive thoughts and ocd and another said that plus anxiety but I need help. I need answers or what other people think. I’ve looked into everything I’ve puked and made myself sick over it so much it’s been a little over a month now. it’s died down after he got a buzz, and school let out. But idk what it is. and my mind constantly wants to figure out the past? and tell me that if i unblock him it will get better? idk. i think in the past it was a false crush?? or something. or i just enjoyed the validation and attention from him.. but when he called me nicknames id be like “omg!!” and freak out? like i cant rmb in a good or bad way. i didnt remember it until my friend mentioned it. please help me.