I feel so far from God.. I don’t know how to get back OCD ruined everything

I’m literally there with you . I have these blasphemous thoughts. I don’t believe they are thoughts anymore . It’s like I’m making everything blasphemous in my head . I’ll be praying for you . I’m also willing to start sharing my info , maybe phone or email so that we can help one another . I just want to talk to people that are believers in Christ and go through what I go through . Most ppl don’t understand me. .

Keep doing the things you love: read the Bible, pray, talk to friends, “as though” you still feel close to Him. You are not a fraud or fake by doing that. I struggle with this content of OCD too, but if you believe you have OCD, you can rise above the content and treat this like any other obsession. God is great enough to handle your uncertainty

Thank you so much emy sue . Are you still going through it ? If so what did you do and what was your story . If you don’t mind sharing

I’m still in it, but it’s better. Been here since March- in a relapse of sorts. Been in therapy long ago. I’m 38. But it snuck up on me this time because I engaged the thought: what if I abandon my faith? And then- what if God rejects me? These are really scary thoughts to me and I thought I was really having a. Crisis of faith. I saw two therapist this fall only for like two sessions each- they helped me brush up on ERP. I’ve been trying to personify the OCD as a bully whispering to me- and I’ve been politely saying- thanks for sharing that, but I like this better (this meaning practicing my faith as usual.) I’m still pursuing another therapist because I think I need the support, but it’s so much better than it was even last month

I’ll say too that the therapist I saw actually try to reassure me that I was a Christian- and I told her that’s not what I needed- so I ended up leaving that practice. But oddly even that experience showed me I have my own beliefs that I’m not willing to compromise!

I would love for God to tell me , “ Son , you are mine and I am yours forever “ . I know it’s based on faith but I just feel like me going into just putting everything behind me and walking forward doesn’t cut it for me . It’s just feels like I’m walking in uncertainty . Does that make sense ?

Wow . Sounds similar to mine . So I’m 25 . Learned about the unpardonable sin last year , became fearful of it . Started reading on it and then I retained the negative thoughts as I started to read everyone else’s explanation on what it was . I never thought I would be going through this and I didn’t know that this was a thing . I literally have the thoughts every 15-20 seconds . I’m always questioning my salvation and looking for assurance . It brings me down and I just use sin as a comfort . It’s terrible but I’m being honest . When I do get into my Word/Bible , I tend to go over and beyond and earn Gods attention and love ( which isn’t biblical , I know ) however when a person is in this state of mind , it’s all I know to do . I literally can’t enjoy anything because of these thoughts . I don’t even think it’s thoughts anymore . Strongly feel like it’s me just talking in my head and calling them thoughts . It’s so confusing .

It does. You aren’t alone. I’ve been there. Let this be a time to sharpen your skills with OCD and let God show you you can’t get away from him:) Treat this like any other obsession and compulsion - a sexual one, a contamination one, etc. Have you been to therapy? Or done ERP? It may help to write down the thoughts you’re having to see them. I do this thing called imaginal exposure story writing- write a story about what might happen and read it a few times a day. Or write down the blasphemy and say I want this to happen and be true! As an exposure exercise. Let the uncertainty be there- welcome it. You can handle not knowing the truth about if you committed the sin. I know it sounds weird. But gradually your brain will give up begging for an answer. Doing this with a therapist really helps. Ok I have to go get my kids ready for school but ill try to support you best I can! I can hear your heart is desiring God. Rest in that and do some ERP