Does anyone else’s OCD change frequently? Like a few months ago I had fear of transgender ocd even though I am not that but let’s be real you all understand what that feels like. But today I’m worrying more about just being abnormal and something being wrong with me also with possibly being attracted to older or younger people and it’s just so draining and as if there is something wrong with me like I’m stuffed up which I’m sure many can relate to. But now transgender ocd doesn’t worry me that much, however it used to be my biggest fear, it’s so insane how we can just switch up. I remember watching a movie about a serial killer and then I had a fear I was going to become a serial killer and I was a sociopath, but today that doesn’t bother me much at all. It just puts in perspective how much it really is ocd, but then my brain doesn’t let that sink in. However I’ve definitely been worse in my life and I’m trying to do some ERP and hopefully will succeed. But like I said it’s so crazy how they switch up, I used to be afraid of killing myself, now that doesn’t bother me but back then it was gut wrenching. OCD truely is terrible.

My ocd has been flaring up lately I’ve noticed some things that I don’t know if it’s ocd or something else whenever I seen someone like drugged or sick or just not “normal” I feel like or get scared that’s gonna end up being me? Does that make sense or then after a few minutes I feel like I’m them I don’t know exactly how to explain it I feel like I’m gonna start acting crazy or like I act weird or like them ? Idk exactly how to explain it and I have such a drop in my stomach thinking of it because it makes me feel insane, I haven’t had such an ocd episode so it’s getting hard again and making me feel insane specially because I don’t know how to explain this that I feel, I feel so scared rn can someone please comment on this?

I went from intrusive thoughts of hurting people, thinking I did horrible things and not remembering it like running people over with my car etc, to my brain trying to convince me I that I had split personality disorder to now health anxiety. The intrusive thoughts weren’t as bad as this. I’ll get physical symptoms like my heart racing, chest pain, can’t swallow. It’s been causing panic attacks but I’m constantly scared I’m dying. If my mole looks like it changed I freak out and think I have cancer. I had to get a stethoscope to listen to my heartbeat to make sure I don’t have an aortic aneurysm to buying a Fitbit to constantly check my pulse. I went to the ER bc I thought I was dying and now I’m paying a 2 thousand dollar bill when they say my heart is fine. It’s just exhausting.

I was just thinking about how OCD tries to be tricky and switches themes on us!! The amount of times I have said to myself in the past, IF ONLY I HAD THE OLDER THEME I USE TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE THIS NEW ONE IS SO MUCH WORSE!!! Has anyone ever experienced this before? Once I started ERP therapy, I began to really start understanding what mental/physical compulsions I was doing to really keep my OCD alive! While I did this, I would also tap into my self-compassion bucket, even when it felt like it was dry at times, because it was SO easy to judge myself for because of the sheer presence of my thoughts. I would also have the most self-compassion for myself for those taboo intrusive thoughts that really felt so strong, ego-dystonic and real!!! My OCD would hop around from theme to theme and just when I thought I figured it out (compulsion) it would hop again and make me discouraged! I noticed for me that once I really understood my compulsions, it didn't matter when the theme switched as I could tackle it at its core. If I was able to stay steadfast and resist compulsions the best I could, I started to notice that my CONFIDENCE increased in the long run! I also noticed that some of the core fears were the same for different OCD subtypes. OCD treatment is hard BUT living with OCD is harder. I have experienced subtypes including Harm OCD, ROCD, Moral Scrupulosity, Sensorimotor, Contamination, Perfectionism/Just Right, Hit and Run, Magical Thinking, Real Event/False Memory. ERP therapy allowed me to really work on stopping these compulsions and switching from theme to theme. I was fed up with what OCD took from me and I needed to do something about it. I talked to an ERP therapist and it was one of the best decisions of my life. If you are struggling, keep pushing and get the help you deserve!! You got this!!!