- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
What’s your best piece of advice? Amazing that you’re doing well!! :)
- Date posted
- 3y
So proud of you!!!! Can’t wait to meet you on the other side ♥️
- Date posted
- 3y
How to deal with intrusive thoughts without anxiety? It feels very real, and i have rocd about 10 month and I'm scared that i start believing to my rocd...
- Date posted
- 3y
Having the thoughts without anxiety is progress! It means you are getting used to the thoughts being there. I know it can feel like you agree with them since you aren’t freaking out anymore but see this as a step forward!! The less you react them the closer you are to recovery . I still get the thoughts but I try my best to act how I normally would without giving the thoughts any time or doing any compulsions
- Date posted
- 3y
@PotatoChip21 Thank you :)
- Date posted
- 3y
@PotatoChip21 These thoughts without anxiety are different from others, which were. It's like they're randomly popping in my head like normal thoughts and feels like the truth
- Date posted
- 3y
@PotatoChip21 Sorry, one more question! How to deal with thoughts when you for example look at picture of your partner and find him not attractive?
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes! Please share some advice! How do you deal with ruminating? I can’t seem to get ahold of it…🥺
- Date posted
- 3y
What are your main themes ?
- Date posted
- 3y
@PotatoChip21 Relationship OCD. I’m always questioning if I love my husband or want children with him anymore. Checking my feelings. I’m just constantly in my head. Never able to just be in the moment with him. I’m so anxious all the time. When I do ERP and start to lose the anxiety, I get anxiety around not feeling anxious anymore. Makes me scared it’s my truth. I found someone else attractive and that’s what trigger he horrible thoughts and fear response
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jeanie12 Literally that’s what triggered mine too! Had just a small conversation with someone I was working with that I found attractive and I immediately felt so guilty and thought about the situation literally everyday for MONTHS & it made me rethink my relationship with my boyfriend because I didn’t understand why I was constantly obsessing and worrying 24/7. I convinced myself I even had a crush because I was thinking about it so much. Then I realized it was all anxiety related. The more I tried to push the thoughts away the more They came around which only fed into the guilt too and I would Google which made me feel worse ! My problem is that if anyone shows even the slightest interest in me I freaked out because that hadn’t happened since I was single (4 years ago!) I had intrusive thoughts of being with this other person too and I would cry every single day because I didn’t want the thoughts. Constantly felt Like someone was in my head trying to torture me.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
People who went from a really bad time with OCD to a better time now. Is it really possible? What was your theme? Did you take medication?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 21w
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 20w
December 14, 2024, marked two years since my first ERP therapy session with my NOCD therapist, Mixi. And October 2024 marked a year of being free from OCD. It was not an easy journey, confronting my fears face to face. Exposing myself to the images and thoughts my brain kept throwing at me, accepting that I might be the worst mother, that my daughter wouldn’t love me, and that I deserved to be considered a bad person. It was challenging having to say, “Yes, I am those things,” feeling the desire to run, but realizing the thoughts followed me. At the start of my therapy, I remember feeling like I couldn’t do this anymore. Life felt unbearable, and I felt so weak. I longed for a time before the OCD, before the flare-ups, before the anxiety, the daily panic attacks. I thought I’d never be myself again. But I now know that ERP saved my life. The first couple of sessions were tough. I wasn’t fully present. I lied to my therapist about what my actual thoughts were, fearing judgment. I pretended that the exposures were working, but when the sessions ended, I went back to not sleeping, constantly overwhelmed by fear and anxiety. But my therapist never judged me. She made me feel safe to be honest with her. She understood OCD and never faltered in supporting me, even when I admitted I had been lying and still continued my compulsions. My biggest milestone in therapy was being 100% transparent with my therapist. That was when real change began. At first, I started small—simply reading the words that terrified me: "bad mom," "hated," "unloved." Then, I worked on listening to those words while doing dishes—not completely stopping my rumination, but noticing it. Just 15 minutes, my therapist said. It wasn’t easy. At one point, I found myself thinking, “Will I ever feel like myself again?” But I kept pushing through. Slowly, I built tolerance and moved to face-to-face exposures—sitting alone with my daughter, leaning into the thought that my siblings might die, reading articles about my worst fears, and calling myself the things I feared. Each session was challenging, but with time, the thoughts started to lose their grip. By my eleventh session, I started to realize: OCD was here, and it wasn’t going away, but I could keep living my life despite it. I didn’t need to wait for it to be quiet or go away to move on. Slowly, it began to quiet down, and I started to feel like myself again. In fact, I am not my old self anymore—I’m a better version. OCD hasn’t completely disappeared, but it’s quieter now. Most of the time, it doesn’t speak, and when it does, I know how to handle it. The last session with my therapist was emotional. I cried because I was finishing therapy. I remember how, in the beginning, I cried because I thought it was just starting—because I was overwhelmed and terrified. But at the end, I cried because I was sad it was ending. It felt like I had come so far, and part of me wasn’t ready to say goodbye, even though I had already learned so much. It was a bittersweet moment, but I knew I was walking away stronger, equipped with the tools to handle OCD on my own. If I could change anything about my journey, it would be being open and honest from the beginning. It was the key to finding true healing. The transparency, the honesty—it opened the door to lasting change. I’m no longer that person who was stuck in constant panic. I’m someone who has fought and survived, and while OCD still appears from time to time, I know it doesn’t define me. I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments. Have you started therapy, is something holding you back? Is there something you want to know about ERP therapy? I'll be live in the app answering each and every one today from 6-7pm EST. Please drop them below!
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