I have so much anxiety today. Too many stressors and the holiday regrets. Feel like what is the point in continuing on. Like why deal with the OCD and its anxiety all the time? I feel like crying and giving up. Have not felt so dejected in a long time. Dad died this year, going through a divorce, and my Mom will be back to being alone when I fly home. This just sucks!

Username: MikeOH2LAMikeOH2LA

Date posted: 3y ago

@lou47 Thank you for responding and saying those things. I sometimes get so down that I just think what it would feel like to just give up. This OCD is brutal and it just seems to get worse especially when dealing with consistent negativity. I am really sorry to hear about what you had/are going through too. Loss is really hard to deal with and asding the OCD to it is a different level. I know other people experience this too. This site is really good for support. Hang in there as well. You seem to be doing great.

Username: lou47lou47

Date posted: 3y ago

You will be okay my lovely. Just please try erp. I have had ocd for 40 years now and at last I realise that erp is the way through. I am struggling at the moment because some elderly friends who I saw as parents have fallen out with me because of Covid and my views. I obsess that because I told them of my intrusive thoughts I had about their grandaughter two years ago which was actually based on sharing a bed with her 5 years or so previously that they think my OCD thoughts are real and that is why they have fallen out with me which is utterly ridiculous as they were so kind to me years ago and even read up about it tk understand what I was foing through....so as you can see OCD will twist ANYTHING you doubt over. I never ever thought that they ever even considered my OCD thoughts to be 'real' until they fell out with me over covid. In fact I even thought a few weeks before this obsession that my ocd has nothing to convince me of anymore....how wrong I was! OCD will twist and twist your brain to get to you but by doing erp it will eventually come back to you. Much love xx

Username: MikeOH2LAMikeOH2LA

Date posted: 3y ago

Thank you and I am sorry that you have dealt with that… being made to feel like there is something wrong with you. I just started ERP not too long ago. I appreciate your encouraging words.

Username: plutoremplutorem

Date posted: 3y ago

im so sorry.

Username: lou47lou47

Date posted: 3y ago

I went through exactly what you are at the moment. I was going through a divorce, lost my Mum and step dad and friend and an uncle as well. The stress has caused me to have OCD over the last few years and that is what it preys on....our stress and vulnerability....you will get through this. OCD is the most vicious disorder ever but please know you are not alone. Stay strong and do erp. I am here with you. Much love x

Username: lou47lou47

Date posted: 3y ago

You are welcome. I do feel like I am a leper with this covid....well that is how they have made me feel. But then like i said OCD will latch onto your vulnerabilities and twist everything. You are not alone with this debilitating illness and you will get over it. Much love xx

Username: mummers

Date posted: 5y ago

*venting* I’m so tired of life. I just woke up, and I feel like going back to bed and sleep until this nightmare passes. This week has been one of the hardest of my life. I don’t think I can face another day of intrusive thoughts, fear, anxiety. I need some moments of relief, but there are none. I wanna have a life again. Anxiety and obsessive thoughts have killed my social life, my ambitions and desires, my happiness. I’ve been fighting for the past 6 months for nothing. I don’t see any improvement. I’m on day 3 of Lexapro and of course i can’t tell if it’s gonna work for me or not. I’m on the first stages of ERP therapy and I still haven’t got any assigned homework to work on, which I really need because I need to feel like I’m doing SOMETHING to help myself with ocd and Gad. I just hope someone could just take out whatever part of my brain isn’t working properly and replace it with a new piece. I don’t wanna feel like a burden to my family or boyfriend anymore. I can’t believe all the damage that I’m causing. I don’t know what to do with all this self hate. I don’t know where to turn to. I seem to have all the help that one could need - therapy, medication, support system. Yet I feel like I can’t spend another day living like this.

Username: Chellie

Date posted: 5y ago

My dad said I should never have been born yesterday. He also wanted to kill himself because of my OCD. I feel heartbroken.

Username: Ocdislame

Date posted: 2y ago

Losing my faith in God has made this that much harder. I’m not talking about praying as a compulsion. But I used to have strong faith and that made any anxiety or issues I had that much easier because I could just give it to God. Lately I’ve had so many questions and am barely hanging on by a thread. I used to be a youth pastor and now I feel like there’s no hope. Then throw on my newly developed OCD now the problems are compounded and I just don’t even feel like getting out of bed anymore. I’m just so sad but have a wife and kid I need to be present for. I’ve never gone through anything like this in my life, why now when I’m needed most by my family?

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