Also I’m very scared to do try the initial therapist call cause I’m scared to hear something I don’t want to hear

My therapist would say a couple things about this that you might find helpful. One is “what would happen if you don’t make that call?”. You can think about continuing to struggle and the difficulties OCD is causing in your life. You can think about your goals if you have any - I also have sexual orientation OCD and one of my goals is to be in a relationship. If I didn’t take the risk to make my initial call, I would still be in the same spot not moving towards my goal. Another thing she would say is “what is the worst case scenario?”. Meaning if you did hear something you don’t want to hear, what would be the worst case outcome? Then she would say “and if that happens (worst case identified above), you would deal with it”. I can imagine what you might be thinking reading these things. For me, the first time she said these things to me, I didn’t truly hear them and did not at all agree with her. I was like, “yeah, but worst case scenario X would basically be the end of the world for me.” Now that I’m starting to think a bit clearer and see improvements in my OCD symptoms, these have actually been some of the most important and useful things she’s said. I say make the call, you’ll probably be surprised at how well it goes.

I have HOCD. I was scared to make the call and hear “it’s not ocd your sexuality just changed” but now I’m making jokes about it. It’s still hard sometimes mostly during my period (anyone else?) but right now I had a breakdown and want to joke about it. Okay my sexuality changed, guess I gotta ask my husband for a gender reassignment surgery 🤪 gotta get him some boobies lol trust me you’ll get to this point if you call

No, I completely understand. I was apprehensive at first too, it’s a vulnerable situation, but think about how you are truly taking steps to help yourself and show yourself the kind of care you needs it’s wonderful. NOCD made things simple and very straightforward. They can connect you with a therapist that’s best for you! I really hope you decide to reach out and take a moment to be proud of this step :)

I was nervous too but I felt so much better afterward. And as I’ve practiced erp I continue to feel better. So it’s real improvement. Not the fleeting kind you get from reassurance.

I don’t even know if i have time.. I just feel like I’m spiraling