- Username
- outdoorman
- Date posted
- 836d ago
hey outdoor man! are you still on here? i’ve been doing really well then had a minor lapse. wondering if you have had any lapses and what did you do to bring yourself out of it? i got really stressed then just been doing compulsions but trying to actively not
@Macyyy729 Hey! I’m still here. I’m happy to hear you’ve been doing well! I’ve struggled with relapse before, and I have some pretty good advice for you. About two years ago I was doing very well with my mental health (at least I thought I was) my anxiety level was what I would call “normal” and I was functioning throughout the day. But, what I didn’t notice was; I was still doing certain things in my life that involved checking, controlling and coping with different aspects in my life. So for example: I had major anxiety and intrusive thoughts around my breathing. I went to workout and ended up swimming at the gym. After I got done swimming, I had a thought of, “what if I my brain becomes confused of when to breath? What if I end up holding my breath in my sleep? What if my brain becomes confused when I’m swimming and tries to take a full breath when I’m under water?” Immediately I started becoming panicky and had a panic attack. “I thought I was on the right track! Why am I having these intrusive thoughts!?” I went back to the basics. I said- “Ok, I want to experience this anxiety. It’s fine to have anxiety. It’s fine to experience any feeling. I still enjoy swimming, and it’s something that is positive in my life, so I want to continue doing that, no matter what feeling, thought or sensation I experience. So, now that this is understood, I need to know if I’m “training” my brain to check, control and cope in my everyday life. Low and behold, I definitely was doing things in my life that involved checking, controlling and coping. I would make a post on FB or Reddit in the mornings, and I didn’t think it was the best post, so I would constantly check on that post to see if it offended anyone. I would check to see if I got X many FB likes. I would then get a little anxious when I would imagine (aka-rumination) others getting upset with me about those posts. I would then head off to work and ruminate in the car and think about what conversations to talk about to co-workers. I would then check to see if my boss was in a good mood by sending an email or text, before I said hello and striking up a conversation. I had a minor problem with one tooth, and I know I need to go to the dentist to get it checked out, but I hate going to the dentist.. so I “coped” and tried googling all day about remedies on natural ways to cure my tooth ache. It was also raining outside that day, and I kept asking it to stop raining, because I had errands to run outside. Almost as if I could “control” the weather. As you can see, I was doing many things like; checking, controlling and coping ALL day leading up to my panic attack after the swimming session. What I quickly learned was- How can I expect my brain to learn how to accept my breathing thought and the anxiety, when I’m doing all those compulsions all day long? It’s simply not fair to my brain. Your brain is very logical and reasonable. If you’re doing compulsions all day long, and then when something difficult comes up, your brain is going to be logical, and helpful by spiking your anxiety and telling you to either “check, control or cope with this thought, feeling or sensation now, because that’s what you have taught me all day long to do!” So my advice would be to take a good look at what you’re doing all day. And it really starts in the morning. Are you doing things that positively effect your mental health, like getting out of bed when your alarm goes off, brushing your teeth, drinking a glass of water. Or are you laying in bed when your alarm goes off and your on your phone on social media or ruminating about the day? 😊