- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
trust me if it was a real wrong relationship you would know ocd is mainly worries and the worries are usually covered with a lot of overthinking and anxiety an actual wrong relationship wouldnt be a thought itd be a feeling is most of it overthinking anxiety that is trapped in your mind look to see if you are doing compulsions for it which you are doing right now by asking this question if you have to ask if its ocd its probably ocd trying to convince you its not ocd
- Date posted
- 3y
also by the actual wrong relationship part their willl be thoughts too but no where as near significant as ocd
- Date posted
- 3y
It can be a feeling too! Luckily for me, most of the time it's a thought OR feeling, not both at once. However, that is still possible.
- Date posted
- 3y
Well when the crisis has stopped i like to wrote down exactly what happened in real life, like the real actions he or I have taken and that way ypu can take a grounded decision or view of the situation
- Date posted
- 3y
Struggle with this all the time. Now that i know my ocd can make me question normal relationships. Idk when im actually in a bad relationship lol.
- Date posted
- 3y
I am not officially educated in this but it seems to me that this question is a compulsion. I am sorry to see you are struggling with ROCD at this current time.
- Date posted
- 3y
Asking this question is a compulsion. It's you seeking certainty in a situation where there is none. Let the question be there but don't try to answer it. It'll be uncomfortable at first but it will subside if you leave it alone.
- Date posted
- 3y
Oop—you’re probably right
- Date posted
- 3y
In my opinion, if your relationship is abusive in any way, if your partner is only considering themselves, if it’s not allowing you to flourish and grow.. those are problems. Other things like attraction, connection, etc will naturally ebb and flow over time.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you everyone for your response. In rocd is it common to want to break up your boyfriend?
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes, this is also a compulsion. You're trying to get rid of the anxiety and your brain is telling you if you get out, the anxiety will disappear. But that's not true. Your relationship isn't the problem, OCD is the problem. Again, let the thought/urge be there and carry on with your day.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much guys it means alot just one last question how do you differentiate between an actual relationship problem and rocd related problems?
- Date posted
- 3y
As long as you're in a generally loving/safe place with a partner you're willing to learn and grow with, you can leave this question alone. Trying to answer it won't help your OCD in the long term, in fact it'll just feed into it. You'll find flaws where there aren't any and get overly preoccupied with problems that, without OCD, would never have bothered you.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 20w
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, however if you are living with Relationship OCD (ROCD) this can be a very triggering day. Relationship OCD is essentially, the fear of being in the wrong relationship, not truly loving your partner, or not being loved by your partner. This makes you doubt the true nature of your relationship and makes you believe that your entire relationship is based on lies. It can make you feel like a bad person and not worthy of love. ROCD will make you believe that you need to leave the relationship just to find some peace. When we think about ROCD we often think that this only applies to romantic relationships, however ROCD can impact friendships and family relationships as well. ROCD will attack whatever relationship is most important to you. As an ERP therapist some of the most common obsessions that I have seen include “Is my partner ‘The One’”? “Maybe I am meant to be with someone else”. “What if my partner cheats on me or worse I cheat on him/her”? “I find X attractive. Should I break up with my partner and be with X”? “Do I even love my partner? What if they don’t love me?” This list could go on and on. The basis of all of these intrusive thoughts is fear and doubt. The compulsions associated with ROCD are vast. The most common include checking feelings to make sure you really love your partner, avoidance behaviors, reassurance seeking behaviors both from your partner and from others and ruminating on the relationship in the hopes of figuring out if this is the “right” relationship for you. ROCD, as in most theses in OCD, wants 100% uncertainty that this relationship will work out with no conflict or compromise. The problem is this is unrealistic. All relationships will have some level of conflict and compromise in them. There is no “perfect relationship”. Most of us have grown up with fairy tales where one true love will come and sweep up off our feet. Life and relationships can be messy and complicated, but they are worth it and are a key aspect of what makes us human. The fact is ROCD makes you doubt everything and will take the joy, excitement and contentment out of the relationship. The good news is that treatment is available, and it is possible to have a long, happy, fulfilling relationship despite ROCD fears. It does take time, perseverance and patience. Treatment using Exposure Response Prevention has been proven to lessen intrusive thoughts. You will learn to manage your expectations of the relationships while leaning into your fears and learning to accept the uncomfortable feelings. By doing this, you can bring joy and contentment back into you life and your relationships. I'd love to hear about how ROCD is showing up for you. Share your experiences in the comments below or ask your questions about ROCD and I will respond to them.
- Date posted
- 13w
For those of you in relationships with ROCD, do your partners know of your diagnosis. I am new to treatment and new to this avenue of mental health. I am generally pretty open and honest with my partner about things but the dark side of my mind I keep hidden. I’m scared to tell him about this if I’m diagnosed. And I’m scared that if I’m diagnosed and something real does go south in the relationship then my diagnosis will be used against me.
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