- Username
- Secret, collectively (she/her)
- Date posted
- 2y ago
NOOO don't overanalyse! Talking about pure/relationship ocd, (where the compulsion are mostly mental) the most you analyse, check, test, overthink something, the more you try to find an answer, the more you fuel your ocd and intrusive thoughts!! (Rocd and pure ocd speaking) I think people said that we shouldn't trust our gut, because someone we get the "just not right feeling" and consequently we get urge to break up, or take distance etc! Or maybe someone give us an answer in a different tone from usual, and our gut make us feel like "she/he is mad with you! No one likes you!" You know, all this kind of intrusive thoughts! I'm not a professionist, I talk from experience tho!
I had another post but I think it’s too fuzzy and unclear. It’s alright to analyze a bit if it’s something important to you. But get others input as well. Tell the others about your ocd. If it’s a trigger problem and you’re wondering if you should anaylze maybe still talk to someone and ask if you’re overthinking it or if this is a good concern to have. The hardest part is knowing if the issue is worth thinking hard about. The other part is not letting the thoughts get to you big or small. (And sometimes your thoughts will get to you.) when it gets to your head it becomes obsessions. When it’s sowmthing important, you’re allowed to think about it, but the next step is making a decison or letting go. Having someone help you rationalize and make things clear does help too. No one can tell you what is good enough to think about for a long time; it’s about what matters to you most and your boundaries. If someone tries to touch you and you don’t want them to, you don’t have to think about it that’s a no automatically. If someone asks you on a date you’re allowed to think about it, or if you’re deciding on a college. The date is not too hard to think about but sometimes you can ask others for input/ and ask yourself if you want to go. A date doesn’t mean marriage. You can use your intuition in the end and say “hey this worked out let’s do it again” or “no I didn’t have fun let’s not date.” For things that are bigger (in my book) like college. Don’t keep looking for other options if you have a few colleges you enjoy. More options means more overthinking. Ask yourself if it works out for your lifestyle, “does it have my major?” “Is it close to home?” use intuiton and say to your self “yes this school makes sense for me, it’s right where I want and it has my major.” Or “no this doesn’t work for me at all, let’s eliminate that from the choices.” In the end it’s about you. My last advice that seems to help conquer my overthinking is the trick my dad taught me. If I start spiraling about “what if’s” I’d sit down and imagine what I don’t want to happen. Then I ask my self : “why does this upset me?/why is this bad?” And then it will break down your thoughts into why you’re feeling overwhelmed in the first place.
The post I referred to made it sound like "if you're inution says x, definitely don't do x." What do you think
@AnonymouslyMe (see bio) I wouldn’t say that. Because sowmtimes intuition can be right. Just when it comes down to things we know our ocd tricks us with it’s better to talk out these instances. Outside ocd feelings it’s definitely good to use intuition/gut feelings.
@applehat I hope that makes sense I suck at talking. Using your sentence I’ll try to think of examples This is my ocd one “If your intuition says dump your boyfriend because you think there’s lots of other guys out there, don’t dump him yet.” Your ocd could be tricking you. Highlight could. Always get a few perspectives of the situation. If your intuition says “I don’t like milk it gives me a stomach ache” you can look at that glass of milk and be like ok I can trust my better judgement because I know for a fact it hurts my stomach. Ocd will tell you your bad or irrational thoughts are gospel and to do what you need to get rid of the icky feeling. Like dumping your boyfriend when you think about other guys even if you’re happy. The problem with intuiton is that it’s a feeling of instinct and doesn’t necessarily have a conscious reasoning. Sometimes on occasion you’re right about your intuition. Sometimes you feel something maybe you can’t explain with with words or put finger on. A good goal would be to look at your thoughts about situation ask yourself “are my feelings based on solid reasonings or are they more a what if scenario?” If you can say something with certainty then it’s a good call. If you can’t really give a good reason as to why you feel something then it may be ocd sneaking up on you. I’ve probably said the same thing over and over about it sowmtimes being right. If it’s ever in the case of dangerous situations sometimes it is better to be safe than sorry and trust yourself.
I’m not sure where you read that, but I suspect that they mean you shouldn’t trust your intuition in regards to your OCD, not that you shouldn’t trust your intuition at all.
Yeah that’s what I mean! Your ocd can trick your intuition for triggers. But otherwise it’s ok to trust your own intuition in other cases.
That makes sense. It was a PhD who said to "never" trust instincts so I wondered if that meant also with regards to "my instincts say this is a compulsion and should be stopped"
I'm looking for any thoughts on a list of recommendations published by the IOCDF. It seems to me this is an otherwise reputable organization. I've highlighted with asterisks the pieces of advice which seem extreme, incorrect, or counterproductive. Quote 1: **Always try hard to agree with all obsessive thoughts** — never analyze, question, or argue with them. The questions they raise are not real questions, and there are no real answers to them. **Try not to get too detailed when agreeing — simply say the thoughts are true and real.** Quote 2: Never seek reassurance from yourself or others. **Instead, tell yourself the worst will happen, is happening, or has already happened.** Reassurance will cancel out the effects of any therapy homework you use it on and prevent you from improving. Reassurance-seeking is a compulsion, no matter how you may try to justify it.
This is my second post today but I don’t care. People with OCD have trouble when it comes to inner knowing or “trusting your gut”. I have this problem that’s extremely frustrating and depressing. I often get emotional when it comes to stuff like this. Does OCD usually attack your inner knowing? Help….
How do I know if a “bad feeling” about a relationship is an inner knowing or ocd lies???
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