- Username
- helloitszo
- Date posted
- 5y ago
That's called "magical thinking". There is no correlation between smashing a cake or a marriage ending. Just like there is no relationship between throwing salt over your shoulder and avoiding bad luck. I hope this os helpful. Your OCD is at work here through needing to figure this out. There is nothing to do or figure out. :)
Ohhhh I’m always watching/ reading things predicting failed marriages. I had to stop tbh. It’s one thing to inform yourself but after a certain point, you’re going to read so much of that that any minor disagreement or difference becomes *THE SIGN* that you and your s/o are “doomed”. At least in my experience with reading tons of divorce and breakup articles. But about the cake thing, tbh you could actually just casually bring that up to your partner. Like “oh I read this article about this wedding and I’d be so annoyed if that happened to me” we want people to just know us so well sometimes that we forget that we can just straight up say something. Him not knowing that (or any fact) about you doesn’t immediately indicate failure in your future, it’s just an opportunity for him to learn something about you. Hope that helps ?
Thank you so much. This was really helpful! ?❤️
That should say "and a marriage ending"
Articles like that are only going to make your anxiety skyrocket. For example "10 red flags in a relationship" or "5 signs hes not the one" , or "signs you arent really in love" is only going to make people with ROCD feel so. much. worse. Take it from me I know this first hand. Looking at this articles is a compulsion in itself, and reading the articles makes you overthink, compare and analyze the relationship more obsessively than we already do. It will make you feel like you actually have to consider your obsessive thoughts and make you wonder if your thoughts are even OCD. I can not stress this enough, I had to learn this lesson so many times. Not to worry, the articles have nothing to do with us because we have OCD, not what theyre saying is going on with us.
Dont worry, SO many people would not enjoy having cake thrown in their face. It doesnt mean you arent compatible:) It triggered you because you obsess about the possibility of the relationship you care so much about ending. The internet can be very deceiving and way too general and the only one who perfectly understands YOUR relationship is you. Looking things up and clicking on those articles is probably a compulsion. I know exactly how you feel..
Thank all of you so much for your comments. They made me feel 100 times better, I really appreciate it. I notice I use quizzes and articles as a compulsion sometimes to “test” my circumstances and to see if my obsessions are true and that’s something I definitely need to work on. It’s good to know I’m not alone ?
So my husband and I have been married for almost 10 years now. We got married young and real quick about 9 months after dating. When we got married my husband used to be a very friendly flirty person but in a harmless way. He didn’t really think of the consequences of the things he’d say he would just blurt it out lol like no filter. Anyway, sometimes he would make compliments at my sister and for some reason that made me upset. She had a boyfriend at the time, anyway fast forward a few months and I guess my sisters boyfriend and my husband were having “guy talk” which I don’t quite understand that. But my sisters boyfriend made a comment about me having nice legs and my husband made a comment back about my sister having big boobs or a nice chest and he’s a lucky guy. Fast forward a couple months later to Halloween he texted her about her Halloween costume teasing her since the stockings she was wearing looked like tan likes but at the point I was so sensitive about the boob comment that the stocking comment alarmed me. I want to mention my husband has changed a ton, he’s no longer immature lol we are in our 30s now he’s reserved and talks about our future non stop and worries for me, all the things a woman wants in a husband. I’ve been good for 4.5 years never bringing this topic up but for some reason I’m stuck in a loop that he made those comments because he wanted my sister and not me and the anxiety that comes with it is unbearable. It’s like I feel this so deeply so it must me true? I can’t tell if it’s because I’m so stuck it feels real and that it is the case and he does like my sister or I’m in denial and want someone to tell me it’s not true. I just want it all to stop because we have such beautiful memories and now I’m focused on a moment of what was immaturity. If you took the time to read this I appreciate you. I’ve asked him a thousand times if he made those comments because he desired her and he said absolutely not, in fact they always bicker and he’s always picking on her calling her boring so she’s not really his type. My mother knows about this and she thinks it was a moment of immaturity and he’s a good man.l and never noticed him being interested in my sister. My sister who was on the receiving end of this says no that’s not the case he was just a dumb ass and my mother in law says I need to get over it. But here I am stuck and I can’t get unstuck. It’s all I can think about. Is what I feel real and Is it true or is this my OCD blowing up the situation more than it really is? Thanks for your time.
I’ve had distressing ROCD for a year now. Been going through ERP & CBT as well as on medication. Recently for a bachelorette party, we went to a tarot reader for fun. The only other time I’ve done tarot was when my friend read for me & it ended up coming true. Now, this time, I went in very anxious about my relationship due to my OCD. The tarot reader asked a bunch of nonsense at first, asking if I was looking to buy a house (no), asking if I had gone through a break up (no), tried to tell me an older lady was coming through and wanting to talk to me (no older lady in my family has passed). He then started to say if I marry my fiancé, that I will feel stuck and that he was getting major “warning” signs. It’s very much triggered my ROCD this week… wondering if anyone has similar experiences ignoring tarot or using this as an exposure. Thank you! ❤️
This is just kind of a rant but any encouragement would be so much appreciated, thank you ❤️ I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is incredible, kind, funny, smart, hardworking, so so loving-just an extremely good person. In 2021 I developed or at least recognized my OCD. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression, definitely quite the list. Each of these conditions mingle with each other and make life very difficult at times. At the beginning it centered around me being a bad person but slowly grew to be relationship OCD. I have fears that I don’t really love him, I’m not actually attracted to him, I’m going to cheat on him, he doesn’t make me happy or that he would be better without me and is a better person than me. Lately I have this fear that one day not to far away he will prepose to me and I won’t be excited. Or that he will feel more for me then I do for him, or that I will have to fake my excitement. I have this vision of myself feeling nothing when he asks me and having to fake it. It’s just such a sickening thought to imagine not feeling the intense joy I always knew I would feel if he proposed to me. It’s so strange because before I had bad OCD I used to dream of that day, I would ask if he thought he might prepose to me one day and if his answer wasn’t certain enough I would feel very sad. It’s terrible because I’ll get depressed and feel nothing positive for any aspect of the world-including my relationship, but OCD will take that and twist it into me not feeling anything positive for him. Which will in turn make me feel more depressed. You ever just want to hide and pause the world for a little while so you can catch your breath? It feels like the weeks go by so slowly but still suddenly I’m nearly grown up.
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