- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
That's called "magical thinking". There is no correlation between smashing a cake or a marriage ending. Just like there is no relationship between throwing salt over your shoulder and avoiding bad luck. I hope this os helpful. Your OCD is at work here through needing to figure this out. There is nothing to do or figure out. :)
- Date posted
- 6y
Ohhhh I’m always watching/ reading things predicting failed marriages. I had to stop tbh. It’s one thing to inform yourself but after a certain point, you’re going to read so much of that that any minor disagreement or difference becomes *THE SIGN* that you and your s/o are “doomed”. At least in my experience with reading tons of divorce and breakup articles. But about the cake thing, tbh you could actually just casually bring that up to your partner. Like “oh I read this article about this wedding and I’d be so annoyed if that happened to me” we want people to just know us so well sometimes that we forget that we can just straight up say something. Him not knowing that (or any fact) about you doesn’t immediately indicate failure in your future, it’s just an opportunity for him to learn something about you. Hope that helps ?
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much. This was really helpful! ?❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
That should say "and a marriage ending"
- Date posted
- 6y
Articles like that are only going to make your anxiety skyrocket. For example "10 red flags in a relationship" or "5 signs hes not the one" , or "signs you arent really in love" is only going to make people with ROCD feel so. much. worse. Take it from me I know this first hand. Looking at this articles is a compulsion in itself, and reading the articles makes you overthink, compare and analyze the relationship more obsessively than we already do. It will make you feel like you actually have to consider your obsessive thoughts and make you wonder if your thoughts are even OCD. I can not stress this enough, I had to learn this lesson so many times. Not to worry, the articles have nothing to do with us because we have OCD, not what theyre saying is going on with us.
- Date posted
- 6y
Dont worry, SO many people would not enjoy having cake thrown in their face. It doesnt mean you arent compatible:) It triggered you because you obsess about the possibility of the relationship you care so much about ending. The internet can be very deceiving and way too general and the only one who perfectly understands YOUR relationship is you. Looking things up and clicking on those articles is probably a compulsion. I know exactly how you feel..
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank all of you so much for your comments. They made me feel 100 times better, I really appreciate it. I notice I use quizzes and articles as a compulsion sometimes to “test” my circumstances and to see if my obsessions are true and that’s something I definitely need to work on. It’s good to know I’m not alone ?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Sometimes I get really upset with my boyfriend and I can’t tell if I’m not having my needs met or if it’s my ROCD questioning things. I can’t express that I’m upset because he rlly doesn’t understand what is going on in my head and most times I bring it up it’s turned into an argument. It is really frustrating does anyone have any tips on deciphering this stuff or dealing with the upset feeling/ bad thoughts (IE: “He’s cheating on me and that’s why he’s not texting.”) (IE: “He’s talking like this because he just doesn’t love me, and he’s not attracted to me. He clearly wants to leave me but doesn’t have the heart to do it yet”)
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
no clue if this is compulsive, but I’m interested to hear any obsessions others have that aren’t the “common” ones you see online about what ROCD is? a few for me: - thoughts about their partner being with someone else instead (sometimes a specific person) and then trying to analyze your reaction to it? e.g. does it *feel* more right than us, do I actually feel happy for them, etc. - trying to imagine your partner in your current situation or maybe a specific future situation (when they’re not around) and trying to decide if they “fit” in it? - being super scared of losing them, then suddenly feeling like you don’t care much for them at all, and just constantly cycling? - I almost never fully enjoyed sex because I was constantly obsessing about whether or not I was turned on, turned on “enough,” if I was just having groinal responses and wasn’t actually turned on, looking at his face just to decide if I find him attractive enough, comparing my experience with how I feel watching content alone, etc.
- Date posted
- 14w
Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or him… For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know it’s common but it’s annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately we’ve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncle’s dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD I’ll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesn’t help enough and if this continues I’ll have to leave… it’s so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didn’t think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesn’t care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So it’s almost like I’m looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? It’s a constant cycle for me and I’m truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost don’t let myself depend on others…. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind 🥺🥺🥺
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