- Username
- helloitszo
- Date posted
- 5y ago
That's called "magical thinking". There is no correlation between smashing a cake or a marriage ending. Just like there is no relationship between throwing salt over your shoulder and avoiding bad luck. I hope this os helpful. Your OCD is at work here through needing to figure this out. There is nothing to do or figure out. :)
Ohhhh I’m always watching/ reading things predicting failed marriages. I had to stop tbh. It’s one thing to inform yourself but after a certain point, you’re going to read so much of that that any minor disagreement or difference becomes *THE SIGN* that you and your s/o are “doomed”. At least in my experience with reading tons of divorce and breakup articles. But about the cake thing, tbh you could actually just casually bring that up to your partner. Like “oh I read this article about this wedding and I’d be so annoyed if that happened to me” we want people to just know us so well sometimes that we forget that we can just straight up say something. Him not knowing that (or any fact) about you doesn’t immediately indicate failure in your future, it’s just an opportunity for him to learn something about you. Hope that helps ?
Thank you so much. This was really helpful! ?❤️
That should say "and a marriage ending"
Articles like that are only going to make your anxiety skyrocket. For example "10 red flags in a relationship" or "5 signs hes not the one" , or "signs you arent really in love" is only going to make people with ROCD feel so. much. worse. Take it from me I know this first hand. Looking at this articles is a compulsion in itself, and reading the articles makes you overthink, compare and analyze the relationship more obsessively than we already do. It will make you feel like you actually have to consider your obsessive thoughts and make you wonder if your thoughts are even OCD. I can not stress this enough, I had to learn this lesson so many times. Not to worry, the articles have nothing to do with us because we have OCD, not what theyre saying is going on with us.
Dont worry, SO many people would not enjoy having cake thrown in their face. It doesnt mean you arent compatible:) It triggered you because you obsess about the possibility of the relationship you care so much about ending. The internet can be very deceiving and way too general and the only one who perfectly understands YOUR relationship is you. Looking things up and clicking on those articles is probably a compulsion. I know exactly how you feel..
Thank all of you so much for your comments. They made me feel 100 times better, I really appreciate it. I notice I use quizzes and articles as a compulsion sometimes to “test” my circumstances and to see if my obsessions are true and that’s something I definitely need to work on. It’s good to know I’m not alone ?
I posted earlier about not being amused by some of my boyfriends jokes. I would say they’re edgy but they’re more just like cheeky I guess and I make them a lot too. The problem is sometimes when he makes them I really don’t like it because I think it’s inappropriate or I wouldn’t have made that joke. I talked to him about it and we are having a hard time sorting this out because he doesn’t understand what’s okay and what’s not because sometimes I make the jokes too. It’s hard because I don’t even understand it’s just sometimes he crosses the line where I wouldn’t and I don’t know how to figure this out. He said he will just stop with most of those jokes until he can see where the line is with me and we can go from there but I still feel really anxious about this. I’m worried about breaking up over this because I see people online that are always fed up with their SO because of things like this. I’m scared and I don’t like it. I love him so much and I don’t want this to be the thing that will break us up.
Does anyone else’s OCD take things and run with them? For example, my boyfriend got annoyed with me recently and responded kind of rudely to a question I asked him. I told him that wasn’t fair and he agreed and apologized immediately. But now I keep ruminating on it that maybe this is just him revealing his true self now that we’ve been together for a while. Maybe the real him is aggressive and he’s going to snap at me in the future and I’m going to be stuck in a relationship that is unhealthy! Also I’m fearing everyone reading this won’t believe me that my relationship is good and they’ll be judging me saying it’s not OCD. Struggling right now.
Hi guys I struggle with ROCD a lot and I change from so many ROCD themes. Right now, I’m worried that my fiancé is abusive. He will never ever cuss at me or do anything crazy, but I find that when he is mad (not at me, just in general), he will start like hitting things. Like for example, we were studying and he was trying to figure out some code for his comp sci stuff and he couldn’t figure it out so he starts like hitting his chair. I’m really really worried that I’m going to end up in something abusive. Again, he does not ever cuss at me or yell at me and he is very understanding when I bring a concern, we’ve been together 3 years now. I just go online and I type in “my boyfriend hits things when he is angry” and I see the domestic abuse thing pop up so I’m really freaking out
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