I just watched a video about wedding photographer’s of Reddit signs that marriages would end in failure. One that came up a lot was when one partner (usually the male) smashed wedding cake in the other’s face and the other person didn’t like it and got upset (meaning their partner didn’t know them/ care enough to know that would make them uncomfortable). So now I’m worried that my very goofy and playful boyfriend will someday do that to me, and I won’t like it so we’ll he doomed and our marriage will end up failing. I know it sounds crazy but I can’t tell if it’s the Rocd making that up or if I truly have a reason to worry, because he does play around with me a lot.

Is anyone else struggling with the “What if my partner is abusive?” I have been obsessing over this for 3 weeks. My brain is on overdrive trying to recall every incident within our relationship to determine if it was abusive behavior. My partner is not perfect but I truly don’t believe he is abusive. There are three incidents that I have been obsessing over and my brain tries to tell me it is abuse and I need to leave. First incident - I accused him of smoking cigarettes with my friends and he grabbed my arm not in an aggressive manner but more of let’s go over to your friends so they can tell you I wasn’t smoking. Other Incidents - We’ve had stupid arguments and he tried to make me laugh by playfully manhandling me or kissing me. This has happened about 3 times. It is playful and never physically hurt me but I get triggered. I start asking myself questions like was that too rough? Was he being abusive? Was he trying to intimidate me? Is this how abuse starts? Did he do something abusive but I’m in denial? Am I overacting to normal behavior in playful relationships? Am I gaslighting myself into believing he isn’t abusive? These questions are driving me crazy. I do not feel scared of my boyfriend and I trust him. I have talked to him about all this and he listens and has stopped the behavior that triggered me. I even found a list of abusive behavior on Google and we went through it together. I keep brining it up and it is causing a strain in our relationship. He doesn’t even want to touch me anymore.

Not reassurance seeking just want to know if someone else has dealt with this. When I mention marriage and stuff, my brain and body feel off and it feels as if I don’t want it. I don’t feel excited talking abt it even tho I talk abt it. I can’t tell if I actually don’t want it or if it’s ocd. Is there any true way to tell? Has anyone else dealt with this? When I talk about honey moon or whatever it feels like maybe I don’t want it. I think it’s commitment issues

Hey everyone! Not trying to seek reassurance, but more so would just love to know if others can relate so I feel less alone. I am engaged and planning my wedding for next summer, which has been very exciting and fun, EXCEPT that I sometimes get triggered by seeing TikToks or hearing people say that wedding planning should be like 100% equally shared between partners. I would say I am handling a bit more of the planning, mostly because I am the one who wanted the wedding more (as opposed to like a courthouse wedding) and will have many more guests, and my fiance is also just very easygoing and doesn’t have a ton of strong opinions about wedding stuff. But I’ve been hearing people say things like “planning your wedding together foreshadows how your marriage will be” and it’s causing me to overanalyze things, like how much we’re each contributing and whether it’s “enough” or whether it bodes well for our marriage. Even though we have a very healthy relationship and I’m super excited to marry him, and I really do consider us partners in every way. I just hate the black and white idea that everything should always be exactly 50/50 because my OCD brain latches onto that and starts looking for ways that we are “doomed.” Anyone out there experiencing something similar?