- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
That's called "magical thinking". There is no correlation between smashing a cake or a marriage ending. Just like there is no relationship between throwing salt over your shoulder and avoiding bad luck. I hope this os helpful. Your OCD is at work here through needing to figure this out. There is nothing to do or figure out. :)
- Date posted
- 6y
Ohhhh I’m always watching/ reading things predicting failed marriages. I had to stop tbh. It’s one thing to inform yourself but after a certain point, you’re going to read so much of that that any minor disagreement or difference becomes *THE SIGN* that you and your s/o are “doomed”. At least in my experience with reading tons of divorce and breakup articles. But about the cake thing, tbh you could actually just casually bring that up to your partner. Like “oh I read this article about this wedding and I’d be so annoyed if that happened to me” we want people to just know us so well sometimes that we forget that we can just straight up say something. Him not knowing that (or any fact) about you doesn’t immediately indicate failure in your future, it’s just an opportunity for him to learn something about you. Hope that helps ?
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much. This was really helpful! ?❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
That should say "and a marriage ending"
- Date posted
- 6y
Articles like that are only going to make your anxiety skyrocket. For example "10 red flags in a relationship" or "5 signs hes not the one" , or "signs you arent really in love" is only going to make people with ROCD feel so. much. worse. Take it from me I know this first hand. Looking at this articles is a compulsion in itself, and reading the articles makes you overthink, compare and analyze the relationship more obsessively than we already do. It will make you feel like you actually have to consider your obsessive thoughts and make you wonder if your thoughts are even OCD. I can not stress this enough, I had to learn this lesson so many times. Not to worry, the articles have nothing to do with us because we have OCD, not what theyre saying is going on with us.
- Date posted
- 6y
Dont worry, SO many people would not enjoy having cake thrown in their face. It doesnt mean you arent compatible:) It triggered you because you obsess about the possibility of the relationship you care so much about ending. The internet can be very deceiving and way too general and the only one who perfectly understands YOUR relationship is you. Looking things up and clicking on those articles is probably a compulsion. I know exactly how you feel..
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank all of you so much for your comments. They made me feel 100 times better, I really appreciate it. I notice I use quizzes and articles as a compulsion sometimes to “test” my circumstances and to see if my obsessions are true and that’s something I definitely need to work on. It’s good to know I’m not alone ?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Is anyone else struggling with the “What if my partner is abusive?” I have been obsessing over this for 3 weeks. My brain is on overdrive trying to recall every incident within our relationship to determine if it was abusive behavior. My partner is not perfect but I truly don’t believe he is abusive. There are three incidents that I have been obsessing over and my brain tries to tell me it is abuse and I need to leave. First incident - I accused him of smoking cigarettes with my friends and he grabbed my arm not in an aggressive manner but more of let’s go over to your friends so they can tell you I wasn’t smoking. Other Incidents - We’ve had stupid arguments and he tried to make me laugh by playfully manhandling me or kissing me. This has happened about 3 times. It is playful and never physically hurt me but I get triggered. I start asking myself questions like was that too rough? Was he being abusive? Was he trying to intimidate me? Is this how abuse starts? Did he do something abusive but I’m in denial? Am I overacting to normal behavior in playful relationships? Am I gaslighting myself into believing he isn’t abusive? These questions are driving me crazy. I do not feel scared of my boyfriend and I trust him. I have talked to him about all this and he listens and has stopped the behavior that triggered me. I even found a list of abusive behavior on Google and we went through it together. I keep brining it up and it is causing a strain in our relationship. He doesn’t even want to touch me anymore.
- Date posted
- 19w
Not reassurance seeking just want to know if someone else has dealt with this. When I mention marriage and stuff, my brain and body feel off and it feels as if I don’t want it. I don’t feel excited talking abt it even tho I talk abt it. I can’t tell if I actually don’t want it or if it’s ocd. Is there any true way to tell? Has anyone else dealt with this? When I talk about honey moon or whatever it feels like maybe I don’t want it. I think it’s commitment issues
- Date posted
- 6w
Hey everyone! Not trying to seek reassurance, but more so would just love to know if others can relate so I feel less alone. I am engaged and planning my wedding for next summer, which has been very exciting and fun, EXCEPT that I sometimes get triggered by seeing TikToks or hearing people say that wedding planning should be like 100% equally shared between partners. I would say I am handling a bit more of the planning, mostly because I am the one who wanted the wedding more (as opposed to like a courthouse wedding) and will have many more guests, and my fiance is also just very easygoing and doesn’t have a ton of strong opinions about wedding stuff. But I’ve been hearing people say things like “planning your wedding together foreshadows how your marriage will be” and it’s causing me to overanalyze things, like how much we’re each contributing and whether it’s “enough” or whether it bodes well for our marriage. Even though we have a very healthy relationship and I’m super excited to marry him, and I really do consider us partners in every way. I just hate the black and white idea that everything should always be exactly 50/50 because my OCD brain latches onto that and starts looking for ways that we are “doomed.” Anyone out there experiencing something similar?
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