i’m not sure if this is an ocd thing or just an anxiety thing but i find it very hard to sit comfortably with being not anxious. i used to be involved in a lot of stressful/anxiety inducing relationships or situations in the past and now i’m in really good relationships with friends and my life is a lot less stressful but my brain is stuck in that anxious zone. if i have a good week and i think my life is going really well then the next week i start overthinking everything and searching for something to be wrong and then i make myself anxious over these problems that don’t even exist. it’s like i can’t relax because i expect something bad to happen. i’m not sure if many others have this issue but any advice is appreciated

I feel the same way! our brains like to be busy and filled with to do lists, which covers up all the past traumas we may have. So when we are bored, lazy, or have less on our plates, these anxious thoughts tend to come up. And it’s normal, but I think those times are key for self-care. It’s not necessarily about adding so many things to your day that you avoid all your thoughts, but when you are less busy, do things that benefit your mental health and hopefully that will help!

Hi Rxbytuesday, A question very like this came up in the NOCD Moral OCD group today! I don't know if it was you, but either way, you're definitely not alone. ;) When we spend a lot of our time in stressful or anxiety-provoking situations, our brains get used to operating under those conditions. Even when our circumstances change or we've done therapy for our anxiety, our brains are still used to acting like we're in danger, because that's what's worked for them in the past. You're in a position now where your brain can make new pathways and learn to respond differently, but unlearning the patterns of a lifetime is always going to take time--and your brain will always be more inclined to default to what it knows, simply because those pathways are more established. So when you said your brain is "stuck in that anxious zone"--that's actually a pretty accurate description of what's going on. And this gets more complicated with OCD, because OCD loves to latch onto uncertainty about stuff like this. "Could this be a problem, is there actually a problem or am I inventing it, am I overthinking this, am I overreacting"...I'm sure you know how it goes. Anyway, here's what the therapist in group suggested: instead of replacing something (anxiety) with (nothing), you replace it with something. Not being anxious about everything frees up a lot of free time/mental energy, but if they're used to feeling anxious, our brains tend to fill that up with...more anxiety. So if your brain is super used to searching for things to go wrong, give it something else to think about instead! Keep it busy. And if those OCD thoughts do come up, respond to them as you would any other OCD thoughts--refrain from compulsion, and sit with the uncertainty. Beyond that, it could be worth trying practices that help quiet the mind. My brain never shuts up, but mindfulness/meditation has brought down some of the chatter over time. Exercise is another good one, as are sensory pleasures (smells, feels, sounds, etc.) Oh, and getting out in nature. I know everyone recommends this stuff, but I'm suggesting it because in a lifetime of not knowing how to relax, this is the stuff that's got me closest. Best of luck! Forgive me for the essay, haha. And finally, I'm so glad that you were able to get yourself into a safer, less stressful place. <3

Omgggg... are you me! I have such a hard time sitting still . When I was dating my husband, I was like go go go... and he was like all chill , what's the rush. But I think my prior relationships kept me so on edge like all the time, so when he came along and didn't have the same energy as me, it was complete hard for me to even relax. I'm still like that. Sometime I wonder if I might have a touch of ADHD