- Username
- Rxbytuesday
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I feel the same way! our brains like to be busy and filled with to do lists, which covers up all the past traumas we may have. So when we are bored, lazy, or have less on our plates, these anxious thoughts tend to come up. And it’s normal, but I think those times are key for self-care. It’s not necessarily about adding so many things to your day that you avoid all your thoughts, but when you are less busy, do things that benefit your mental health and hopefully that will help!
thank you sm!
Hi Rxbytuesday, A question very like this came up in the NOCD Moral OCD group today! I don't know if it was you, but either way, you're definitely not alone. ;) When we spend a lot of our time in stressful or anxiety-provoking situations, our brains get used to operating under those conditions. Even when our circumstances change or we've done therapy for our anxiety, our brains are still used to acting like we're in danger, because that's what's worked for them in the past. You're in a position now where your brain can make new pathways and learn to respond differently, but unlearning the patterns of a lifetime is always going to take time--and your brain will always be more inclined to default to what it knows, simply because those pathways are more established. So when you said your brain is "stuck in that anxious zone"--that's actually a pretty accurate description of what's going on. And this gets more complicated with OCD, because OCD loves to latch onto uncertainty about stuff like this. "Could this be a problem, is there actually a problem or am I inventing it, am I overthinking this, am I overreacting"...I'm sure you know how it goes. Anyway, here's what the therapist in group suggested: instead of replacing something (anxiety) with (nothing), you replace it with something. Not being anxious about everything frees up a lot of free time/mental energy, but if they're used to feeling anxious, our brains tend to fill that up with...more anxiety. So if your brain is super used to searching for things to go wrong, give it something else to think about instead! Keep it busy. And if those OCD thoughts do come up, respond to them as you would any other OCD thoughts--refrain from compulsion, and sit with the uncertainty. Beyond that, it could be worth trying practices that help quiet the mind. My brain never shuts up, but mindfulness/meditation has brought down some of the chatter over time. Exercise is another good one, as are sensory pleasures (smells, feels, sounds, etc.) Oh, and getting out in nature. I know everyone recommends this stuff, but I'm suggesting it because in a lifetime of not knowing how to relax, this is the stuff that's got me closest. Best of luck! Forgive me for the essay, haha. And finally, I'm so glad that you were able to get yourself into a safer, less stressful place. <3
thank you so much! this is so so so so appreciated💗💗💗
I agree, this is so helpful
Omgggg... are you me! I have such a hard time sitting still . When I was dating my husband, I was like go go go... and he was like all chill , what's the rush. But I think my prior relationships kept me so on edge like all the time, so when he came along and didn't have the same energy as me, it was complete hard for me to even relax. I'm still like that. Sometime I wonder if I might have a touch of ADHD
i personally have adhd so that probably has something to do with it all tbh, it’s just difficult to keep looking for problems and i get myself all upset and there’s nothing wrong at all??? i just made it up?? it gets exhausting but it’s nice to know i’m not alone lol
@Rxbytuesday It really is exhausting. And I too seem to really dig deep, to find something to bother me, when things are going just fine. It's just dumb to do that. But I seem to do that when I'm best at being bored
I’ve got to the point with my OCD where I don’t really have compulsions anymore, just a few intrusive thoughts which I’ve learnt to deal with quite well now. But my main thing is anxiety about getting anxious (which obviously makes me become anxious?)or being the way I used to be. Has anyone else experienced this?
How am I supposed to know if it's OCD or a problem I can fix? I'm having anxiety at times I feel like I should be most relaxed (example: while having a fun time with my bf) I feel really upset by this anxiety and can't find a root cause or any way to fix it. My relationship is everything I've ever wanted and I love my boyfriend very much. We both have the same goals in life and we share some unusual hobbies. I didn't believe in "soulmates," but I really think I've found mine. Idk if I have rocd, anxious/ avoidant attachment, or if there's a problem I can't recognize, but It's an obsession for sure. I plan to use nocd for therapy soon, but can anyone offer advice about this? I know a lot of people still here aren't in a good headspace, but I'd love to hear if anyone's gotten through this and how.
My OCD has gotten way better, but I still struggle with one thing in particular. This does not necessarily have to do with my ocd but I also struggled with it while I was still struggling. It is this feeling of always needing to do better, to evolve, change things etc. This affects my relationship. Everyday I bring something up to my partner that we/he could change. Everyday I insist on having deep/meta psychological talks about how we feel, what we need, what we should change and it is really taking a toll on my partner. It feels like I am constantly trying to be better, to make him or us better and it is hurting both of us. He is not a better partner at all, I am just sooo scared of things not turning out okay or right. I just have this heavy pressure on my heart, idk if it is fomo, anxiety or whatever but it sucks joy out of things. I feel like I‘m constantly trying to live im check lists. „Oh this was a cute moment, check“ „okay, we just had a good conversation, check“ and so on. Every moment i spend with him has to be evaluated and it. Is. Draining. It drains me so so much. I am just so scared of not being mature enough, that m partner and I don’t talk enough, don’t know each other enough or that things should be different. Do any of you have the same problem? This is not just a relationship problem for me. I also feel like I am not doing enough, I should be experiencing more things, etc. I know i should just let go but I can’t. Do you have tips, advice or similar story? Please share, I feel so frustrated and alone. I don’t want to be this serious, strict being.
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