Ok.. so another one of my fears is the fear of being schizophrenic or psychotic. I’m 9 weeks post partum and I read about psychosis and it freaked me out!! I’m 29 years old and I know schizophrenia happens in your teens or early 20s. My therapist told me that as long as I don’t have a voice telling me to act on my intrusive images or thoughts that it’s not psychotic. Once she said that later that day the words “do it” kept repeating in my mind. I have 0 desire to harm anyone and I’ve never been a violent person. If anyone has experienced something similar please share! I feel like my mind loves to switch things up and play tricks on me.

So I'm fairly new to OCD and Intrusive Thoughts. It all started about 8 months ago for me. I had health anxiety and generalized anxiety and got put on meds for that. I read side affects of meds could cause su*cdal thoughts and it freaked me out and lead me to think what if I started having thoughts of harming others too and instantly for the last 8 months I've had horrible intrusive thoguhts about harming others. Now the other day I ran across a post about how ocd can lead to psychosis, reading about it freaked me out so bad that I'm now scared I'm gonna get psychosis. Paranoid thoughts is a sign of psychosis so I started watching myself I guess to see if I'd become paranoid. And now every thought I have seems paranoid. I'll think things like what if I start becoming paranoid of my loved ones and think they're out to get me? That leaves me questioning if I am paranoid and if I actually do think that. Anyways, I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has had this happen to them? I pray someone can relate because I'm terrified.

Hello, I have hypochondria, gad, ptsd, and panic disorder. For the past 5 months I have been in a deep episode of what I’m hoping is just hypochondria where I’ve fully convinced myself I’m psychotic/developing schizophrenia. This theme has become so debilitating I lost my job and was completely bed bound for a while. Anyway, I have the extreme fear of developing delusions and hallucinations, so I’m constantly on the look out for symptoms like that. For whatever reason I have become extremely sensitive and afraid of anything demonic or horror related, I literally used to be a horror junkie, listen to Marilyn Manson etc. I am literally an atheist, I don’t even believe in the devil or superstitious things like this, but for some reason I have started getting extremely fear inducing demonic type intrusive thoughts, like one night I had the terrifying thought “what if my wife is possessed by a demon and isn’t really my wife” this thought scared the fuck out of me and actually changed my behavior towards my wife and gave me a panic attack, the fear of that later passed, but the uneasy feeling still linger. I’ve been getting all sorts of terrible demonic type intrusive thoughts like that about everybody and random places and even objects and they cause a panic attack everytime I get them, it used to be a panic attack about struggling to fight the urge to believe these thoughts but now I feel like it’s gotten to the point where it just straight up feels like it’s happening and I’m afraid for real and not even questioning the thoughts anymore. I’ve completely stopped listening to any music that references the devil or any type of media that may have dark references, to avoid getting these types of thoughts. When I am not anxious and I take my anxiety medicine (clonazepam) I can laugh these thoughts off and confidently shrug them off as ridiculous, but other times it feels real!Why is this happening to me? Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and do not believe in superstitious things like this, why am I suddenly afraid of things like this? And better yet why do they scare me and “feel real” if I don’t believe them. I feel like I’m fighting for my sanity every single day. I literally dread the anticipation of getting these thoughts. These strange new fears about demonic shit is only solidifying my root fear that I am developing psychosis. Can anyone please help me?

I’m almost 3 months post partum. My baby was in the nicu for about 3 1/2 weeks after birth so we had a rough start. A couple nights after I brought her home I woke up for one of her middle of the night feeds. I made her bottle as usual and started feeding her. I was just looking at her and was all of a sudden bombarded by all of these terrifying thoughts like “what if I stab her.” I was so panicked and nauseated to the point of throwing up. I just knew those intrusive thoughts were the beginning of post partum psychosis and I was going to do something terrible to myself or my baby while in the psychosis. I couldn’t go back to sleep and just cried and cried the next day. I saw my obgyn and was prescribed 25mg of Zoloft and 5mg of buspar. Each day that passed after that I started to feel a letter better. Then I got my first post partum period. After my period I started having panick attacks and terrible chest pains. I thought I was having a heart attack so I saw a doctor who ran some tests. Everything came back completely normal and was told I’m just having severe anxiety and am under a lot of stress. So I saw my obgyn again and she upped my Zoloft to 50mg and my buspar to 15mg. The first few days were terrible. I thought I was having a bad reaction to the medication my anxiety was through the roof and I felt absolutely hopeless. My harm ocd was so bad. I thought I was going to take my own life. Not because I wanted to but because I just felt so hopeless. I moved back in with my parents so that there was eyes on me at all times. I was still scared I was going to go into a psychosis and hurt my baby. I felt better after a few days and the medication had started working again. I felt completely normal up until my 2nd post partum period. I’m ten days off of my period and now I’m back at square one. My harm ocd has spiraled. I’m having terrible intrusive thoughts about hurting my baby. I know now I’m not going to go into a psychosis because if I was going to I would have already. When I’m having these thoughts and they don’t make me nauseous I start to obsess over whether or not I’m a dangerous person or capable of being violent. Now I’m stuck on that. The fact that I’m not dwelling on the intrusive thoughts the way I used to has made me question if post partum has turned me into a psychopath or sociopath. I question all of my emotions and wonder if I’m actually feeling the way I think I do or wondering if they’re generic emotions. I’m ferried. Please help.