Random blah-blah: I have GAD, and I think I have OCD too. I don't say that suffer from ocd since I'm not diagnosed. My ex-therapist suggested me to look up for bipolar disorder. The problem is, after half an year, I still don't think I am bipolar. Did my research inside my brain, as well as on the internet. The thing is, I am obssesing over my mental health. OCD was the last disorder that I checked, since I thought it's impossible for me to have it. I am anxious about this one. I am scared. I want to know if I have ocd, and since yesterday, that s all I am doing. Looking up on the internet to find an answer. I am scared if I book a call, the therapist will say: but you have GAD, not OCD. And this will be so bad because I... I honestly can t imagine why it would be so bad. Just that I ve lived in a lie for 2 days. I think my ocd is most obvious in my relationship with my bf. And I feel so bad because he keeps saying that everything he does - is never enough. It s complicated. I just want him to never doubt himself, his actions and our love.

My current obsession is around mental health, specifically that I have undiagnosed Bipolar 2. Any changes in my mood are triggering and in my compulsive googling to make myself feel better (never works lol) I discovered that ocd and bipolar are linked in like 10-20% of cases?! So now I feel worse. Anyone else experience mental health fears?

So scared to post this not wanting to sound dramatic incase i dont have it so uh yeah lets go Ive been struggling with this ocd spiral, googling everything i can, taking stupid test that prob dont mean anything, i dont really have compulsions i think? but anyways i cant let it go unless i know. ill give list of reasons why - I get intrusive thoughts i dont want, like sexual or harm related ones, multiple times a day- Yes ik intrusive thoughts are normal so this is probably nothing. To try and give an idea on how many or how constant- when i look at something either that be a person, pet, or an object can be fictional things to- there is a high chance of a thought or mental image popping up -I feel shame and guilty about it because it goes against everything, im asexual so having these thoughts about my family or animals is really upsetting and disturbing bc why am i thinking this, it doesn't feel normal -i try and push them away by blinking, shaking my head, or just walk away from what triggered them -i spiral trying to figure out whats wrong with me for example ofc my brain thinking i have ocd and it filling my brain. or can be about physical health or other mental health disorders- -i constantly am switching between thinking i have it to im faking it. When i see symptoms i have i think, "Okay wait, i must have it" to where when i see a symptom i don't have, i tell myself. "No im just lying for attention or im being dramatic and these aren't real problems". but like rn im struggling with thinking none of this really even happened and i'm just saying things so ppl think sm wrong with me - sometiems i avoid things that trigger it- not alot but like when i get a thought about my dog when im about to pet her, i stop- and walk away becuase it might come true. -i fear something is wrong with me, wether it be my mind, body, health, personality- -im scared to open up about these thoughts becuase im scared people will thing im lying, im weird, or ill be sent to a mental hospital. -also reassuring-seeking. now this isnt a big thing to me but when i think i offended someone i have to say "sorry if i offended you" or if i think i annoyed someone i must say "sorry if i annoyed you", OR i kinda down talk myself saying im annoying, there annoyed with me, they hate me This has been nagging me for days, and i cant get it to stop- BECAUSE what if i do and i don't get it diagnosed and ill deal with this forever or whatever, ik ppl have it worse and i'm probably being dramatic, high possibility. but i'm also scared to tell a therapist bc of that same exact reason and fear of being called dramatic and its all in your head. but uhm hopefully i didn't say anything bad and didn't repeat anything.

So I’m new to this app and I knew there was something wrong w/ my brain for a few years now. I’m a professional volleyball player and was playing in France last year while in a long distance relationship. I would ruminate and think that one small thing was going to ruin my career every. Single. Day. And I have the fear that I NEEDED to end warm ups with a good hit or else I would play terribly. I had constant fears that my teammates don’t trust me and think I’m bad - when in reality and looking at the statistics I was one of the best players on the team - the fearful ruminating keeps me awake at night and it would get so bad that I would break into a rash on my neck. Lots of rashes from anxiety and over thinking :( My relationship was new but it was long distance. I never experienced this in my life: my mind became OBSESSED with the idea he might be ugly. I couldn’t stop thinking that he was ugly and feared that that meant I needed to break up with him and I felt like a terrible person constantly and the thought ate me alive - I was constantly googling about it to try and get some relief which I am now learning is seeking reassurance. I also have struggled with some forms of disordered eating for many years but it got so bad in France. I was binge eating a lot. I gained ten pounds in a month. I knew it and I felt it and I became OBSESSED with the idea that I’m so fat and a weak terrible person for not being able to control my binges. My therapist gave me some screener exams. I scored very highly on the anxiety test and the OCD test which blew my mind cuz I’ve never considered OCD in my whole life. I started taking Prozac which honestly I feel like saved my life. It’s been over 6 months since that point now and everything is so much more manageable. I’ve also recently learned that I may have autism as well. My brother has it and dad is convinced he has it but I was never diagnosed. I also learned I may have a bit of ADD as well recently. I’ve known I think differently for some time but this is just overwhelming and validating and confusing and a bit scary. My current obsession is worrying about my future career - I’m obsessed. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m so afraid of my making a lot of money in the future. I take aptitude tests all the time when I get anxiety or go on Reddit to hear about other people which makes me feel okay for a little but it always comes back. My head is spinning. I just want to enjoy being 24 and having an interesting career and trust that my life will be okay but I’m so convinced that I’m going to suffer immensely if I don’t start pursuing a high paying job immediately. Im a smart girl - graduated from UC Berkeley - have done tons of networking in different industries - I have a financial plan for the future for when I start a normal job - but I cant stop this cyclical torturous thinking that I’m going to be poor and suffer immensely I also learned a few years ago I have an anxious attachment style which I thought I worked through but in my new relationship I have strong feelings for him and I feel the intense fear abandonment coming up and I’m so scared I’m gonna ruin the relationship - I thought maybe I’m just someone who needs a lot of reassurance but if I have OCD maybe that will make it worse? Feeling like I need reassurance to regulate? I just would like some help - have you experienced this? Is this even OCD? Am I making things up for attention? I’m going to bring it up with my therapist.