- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
How exactly was it your fault? I'm sorry for saying this about your husband but that pretty much makes him an asshole. There was literally no reason for this comment and he's obviously not sorry. Blaming it on the victim after bad-mouthing them (despite knowing their condition) is really toxic. I'm sorry this happened to you. If this is a constant occurrence, i suggest you communicate with him and if he still keeps on using the blame card without giving a single fuck about your perspective, it's better to leave this relationship.
- Date posted
- 3y
You deserve love, you are loved, precious and you matter. Never let anyone steal your self worth and self love away. People should never make such rude and harsh comments on anyone. We are here to love and support each other not to break others' hearts. Please talk to him in a serious way and ask him what did he mean by saying that. Does he speak to you in this attitude all the time or it was something random? Do you feel loved and supported by your husband?
- Date posted
- 3y
He is usually nice and doesn't mean to be nasty. But the problem is we cannot have a good conversation about feelings and my health without him going into mutism. I'm going with him at my next appointment with my psychiatrist so I hope it will make things a bit better
- Date posted
- 3y
What the hell is wrong with your husband like WTF
- Date posted
- 3y
He's the cliché of the "man" ; I should stay strong, not have emotions,... And it makes him feel miserable, even if he doesn't want to say it loud
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for your support. He is bad at being empathetic and can be easily overwhelmed with his anger. In many points I feel supported and loved by him, but I don't really feel secure sharing my emotions. My psychiatrist suggested we go together to the next appointment so I convinced (with difficulties) my husband to do so. Hope it will make things a little better.
- Date posted
- 3y
Not being empathetic is no excuse for behavior though. My mom kinda sucks at empathy too but she tries her best to act as she should to others.
- Date posted
- 3y
Please keep us updated
- Date posted
- 3y
@naquin0 Sure. I find it very hard to confront harm OCD in this situation, and since it's the holidays here I'm keeping my daughter full time at home. I can sing 🎵under pressure 🎵 now 😂
- Date posted
- 3y
Ur husband sounds like a dick
- Date posted
- 3y
It seems like he was wrong and he can’t take responsibility and because of the nature of OCD and the “hyper responsibility” that comes with it wants you to take responsibility because your “OCD” (in quotes because there could be more here) says it’s your fault. And it’s not.
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s ok to be angry
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
My terror seems like it's become a reality. Last night when I asked him if he loved me (we both used to do that before he became really distant), he said he'd think about it. I thought he was joking, but when I checked to make sure, he just said "Good night." L-like, what the hell am I supposed to do with that?? Anyway, cried for a good hour/hour-and-a-half while hurting m*self cuz ya'know, I must have done something for him to be questioning whether he loves me or not. I'm too emotional? Jump to conclusions sometimes? I'm annoying? I'm too much?? I don't know why and it's driving me insane. I'm gonna try and call with him today but, I'm not eating anything. ROCD has made everything Reality. 😢😰😓
- Date posted
- 21w
Longer post, but please, I need some guidance. I thought that my thoughts relating to relationship OCD were taking over. But, my bf started treating me differently. I tried to have a conversation and communicate this worry. He then texted me that he had actually been feeling distant for a month and has been meaning to tell me. But “we’re fine now.” I spiraled. Later in the week, he went quiet after a disagreement. After he promised we were okay and he was okay, I found later he was texting a mutual friend (female) that I was crying again. She said that it was fucking insane and other hurtful things about me. He said he lost his trust with me because I looked through his phone and saw that message even though during the whole relationship we had a mutual understanding that we had nothing to hide from each other and he always assured me that I could look through his phone at anytime. It’s ok for boundaries to change in a relationship, but it wasn’t communicated and I was harshly reprimanded. During the texting chain with the mutual friend he also said that “she just has no idea.” When I addressed this, he then said that for the past month, he actually felt he didn’t want to be in a relationship, but still loved me. I’m ruined. I had the same thoughts in January and knew I loved him. I found out it was ROCD (through this app) and told him the day after the realization because it was eating at me. So him saying I wouldn’t understand and telling other seems unjustified. I would’ve been the most understanding. Any help would be appreciated greatly.
- Date posted
- 13w
My husband told me recently he was going to hang out with a local friend he often goes to see. It got very late and I heard nothing from him. Tried calling and texting. Stayed up all night thinking maybe he was dead or injured. Logged into our cell phone account to see if I could find any recent location and discovered he had talked to someone on the phone that night but he was like 2 hours away from home at that time. And also saw a phone number he was spending hours on the phone with every day. I had been confronting him about his secrecy prior to that and he kept telling me it was this friend or that friend, or he was just taking the dog on a long walk or having a fire out back. He finally called me back in the morning and I yelled at him. He told me he was randomly with two friends from longer ago and had gotten drunk and passed out, and hadn't told me about these plans because I had a heart surgery a few weeks prior and health concerns and he didn't want to stress me out. He told me the phone number was a girl that he related to on trauma factors and that he views like a little sister. He said he didn't tell me because he was caught up in his trauma spilling of events he didn't share with a single person since they occurred to him 35 years ago, due to feelings of shame and anger, and that he thought I would view it as emotional cheating. I told him it really could be viewed as emotional cheating and in principle, honesty shouldn't be dependent upon the outcome... lying isn't justified because I would be upset by the truth. Since then, he's been more open with me and tells me when that girl is calling, talks to me about their conversations, answers her calls when I'm present. I talked to him about boundaries and things I'm uncomfortable with or bothered by and he changes those things. Especially because I have trauma from an emotionally abusive ex, having him lie to me when I directly questioned him about what I was perceiving or experiencing and telling me those experiences weren't real, when they actually WERE real, has really messed me up. Now when he wants to hang out with a friend, I don't trust it. But I'm handling these feelings in destructive OCD ways. I spend literally the entire time he's gone thinking and thinking and thinking about what if he's lying or what he might be doing instead of what he said. I call and text him intermittently and feel like all of my obsessive thoughts are confirmed if he doesn't answer right away. I'm always checking the phone history. The driving toll history. Scrutinizing everything. I cannot get out of this mindset. It's like this horrible mixture of emotional flashbacks and OCD. I don't want to live like this. I want to work on my relationship in productive ways. I want to be able to use my own time while my husband is gone. Even if he lied to me and is somewhere other than he said, I don't want to lie in bed just thinking and thinking and thinking for entire days and nights. I'm not sure what I'm really asking here. This is just the only place where I feel like I can share this without people thinking "wow she's crazy".
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