My bf or should I say my not fucking bf, got into a fight a week ago and we didn’t speak for the last 2 days and he said we were on a break. He says we’re not together right now. That I could do whatever I want but it’d still hurt the same but he knows I’m not gonna do anything & he isn’t gonna do anything. But it’s the mere fact that he labels the break almosf like a break up because it wouldn’t be considered cheating if one of us did something. He’s going to San Diego this weekend with his friends and I’m not gonna lie I wasn’t worried before but now that I know there’s that little bit of room to do shit, makes me scared he’ll even just flirt with girls. It really scares me cuz I’ll never know & I don’t like it. We are talking about everything on Monday & most likely gonna get “back together”. He says it’s simple on his end where it’s a little short break from the relationship as in talking every day and doing relationship stuff, and then he comes back and we’ll talk. And I hate it. So much. It makes it hard to not over think and worry.

Dump him. A break is taking a step back from the relationship WITHOUT THE INTENTION OF GETTING WITH OTHERS BECAUSE ITS A BREAK. A break UP meaning u wouldn’t get back together would be fine. There’s no in between. But if he wants to take a “break” mess with other ppl and be like “ok breaks over” then NO. He just wants permission to cheat, it’s a perfect opportunity for him. Is he really that worth it? I mean don’t think about all the time you’ve spent together and how bad you’re gonna miss him. Is his personality that worth it? Or could you imagine doing that whole relationship with anyone else? If you think he’s that special then it’s up to you but what he decided on makes ZERO sense and everyone can agree on that. Good luck

Hi, based on what you said and not knowing anything else, it doesn't seem fair to you. I agree with Maryam that it is giving him freedom to cheat and blame it on the label he gave y'all. I've been down this road. Unfortunately on the asshole side like your not bf, and I would suggest to ask yourself, if a person does this conveniently around the time they're going on a trip and pretty much tells you they can do what they want, how many times do you think they'll do it again until they realize that you're getting treated unfairly? How many times do you want to go through that? I have had some bad relationships and I thought I was strong enough to get through anything. After one really toxic one with a good guy (outside of our relationship) I realized you can get in a very dark place and it can take a long time to know you're there and even longer to get out of it.

a break to me means you’re still together but are taking some time apart but don’t plan on seeing other people. a break up is officially being apart. doesn’t mean you won’t get back together but it means that you’re not an item anymore. my #1 rule in relationships is don’t go to bed upset. talk it out before your brain gets the best of you and before he does something he thinks isn’t an issue because he didn’t communicate his needs. he can’t have his cake and eat it, too!

Ok maybe I should specify that we got in a huge fight a week ago and I broke up with him impulsively cuz he didn’t wanna talk things out and instead wanting me to leave his house for the night. He constantly jumps to breaks when we get in big big fights. Which we only been into like 3 times now. We bicker at times but we get into BIG fights about boundaries. I’m also not defending him cuz fuck him right now I’m really mad. He is the one who fucked up, and then I did cuz I chose a really bad time to approach it, he told me he hated me cuz of the circumstance. Which was his very old senior dog had an accident everywhere and he was cleaning it up and I asked him about a girl if he spoke to her & he said no but I already knew he did. It was friendly on his end but he knows I don’t want him speaking to her. He even tried to delete the message but she already saw it. I’m mad at him and I didn’t mean to break up with him but I was very angry. He didn’t let me live that down and continued with the break up and now we’re just not together but will get back together in a few days after his trip. I mean fuck. I don’t wanna suspect it’s cuz he wants to do whatever he wants cuz of the timing but it does bother me because last time we went on a break he specified and said like it’d be cheating still but this time he said it wouldn’t be but he knows we both don’t wanna do that. Ugh I know it’s a lot I just wanna vent my friends haven’t got back to me and never do