- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Dump him. A break is taking a step back from the relationship WITHOUT THE INTENTION OF GETTING WITH OTHERS BECAUSE ITS A BREAK. A break UP meaning u wouldn’t get back together would be fine. There’s no in between. But if he wants to take a “break” mess with other ppl and be like “ok breaks over” then NO. He just wants permission to cheat, it’s a perfect opportunity for him. Is he really that worth it? I mean don’t think about all the time you’ve spent together and how bad you’re gonna miss him. Is his personality that worth it? Or could you imagine doing that whole relationship with anyone else? If you think he’s that special then it’s up to you but what he decided on makes ZERO sense and everyone can agree on that. Good luck
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hi, based on what you said and not knowing anything else, it doesn't seem fair to you. I agree with Maryam that it is giving him freedom to cheat and blame it on the label he gave y'all. I've been down this road. Unfortunately on the asshole side like your not bf, and I would suggest to ask yourself, if a person does this conveniently around the time they're going on a trip and pretty much tells you they can do what they want, how many times do you think they'll do it again until they realize that you're getting treated unfairly? How many times do you want to go through that? I have had some bad relationships and I thought I was strong enough to get through anything. After one really toxic one with a good guy (outside of our relationship) I realized you can get in a very dark place and it can take a long time to know you're there and even longer to get out of it.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
a break to me means you’re still together but are taking some time apart but don’t plan on seeing other people. a break up is officially being apart. doesn’t mean you won’t get back together but it means that you’re not an item anymore. my #1 rule in relationships is don’t go to bed upset. talk it out before your brain gets the best of you and before he does something he thinks isn’t an issue because he didn’t communicate his needs. he can’t have his cake and eat it, too!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Ok maybe I should specify that we got in a huge fight a week ago and I broke up with him impulsively cuz he didn’t wanna talk things out and instead wanting me to leave his house for the night. He constantly jumps to breaks when we get in big big fights. Which we only been into like 3 times now. We bicker at times but we get into BIG fights about boundaries. I’m also not defending him cuz fuck him right now I’m really mad. He is the one who fucked up, and then I did cuz I chose a really bad time to approach it, he told me he hated me cuz of the circumstance. Which was his very old senior dog had an accident everywhere and he was cleaning it up and I asked him about a girl if he spoke to her & he said no but I already knew he did. It was friendly on his end but he knows I don’t want him speaking to her. He even tried to delete the message but she already saw it. I’m mad at him and I didn’t mean to break up with him but I was very angry. He didn’t let me live that down and continued with the break up and now we’re just not together but will get back together in a few days after his trip. I mean fuck. I don’t wanna suspect it’s cuz he wants to do whatever he wants cuz of the timing but it does bother me because last time we went on a break he specified and said like it’d be cheating still but this time he said it wouldn’t be but he knows we both don’t wanna do that. Ugh I know it’s a lot I just wanna vent my friends haven’t got back to me and never do
- Date posted
- 3y ago
He said it’s very simple for him. “Break, come back, talk, be together” and that I’m really overthinking it. But it’s not even overthinking, I’m fucking mad.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Oh. Well since you broke up with him I think it’s a good idea too talk to him saying that you didn’t mean to break up w him fr fr. But if he knows that you guys plan on getting back together and he wants to do stuff then he’s in the wrong still.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Maryam0421 I made a comment saying like don’t do anything stupid & he said I’m not gonna do anything & I know you’re not either but I wouldn’t consider it cheating but it would hurt just the same. I’m like dude. Why can’t we take a break from like the lovey dovey stuff but not from our loyalty
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Anonymous You worded that perfectly and he’s 100% in the wrong.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w ago
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?
- Date posted
- 10w ago
I'm 18, and been in a relationship with my man for nearly 2 years. I started living with him around 2 months ago, and all I do is think about if he's cheating. We were long distance for a year and a half of our relationship, maybe seeing eachother once every month or two. I decided to move in with him, and ever since all I can think about is if he's cheating or watching porn. When he's in another room I think he's doing something wrong, I have to check on him every ten minutes to ease my anxiety. I didn't have this problem before moving in. Granted he has talked to some girls on his phone, even having his ex on his phone (didn't do anything bad) and he is porn addicted though he is getting better for me. It's gotten so bad I want to leave him. A couple days ago I broke up with him and it absolutely broke my heart, I couldn't bare it so I gave him a month to show me he can do better, and for me to work on myself. If I'm still unhappy with us I'm going to leave. I love this boy more than anything. I'm scared to be without him, this is my first real relationship. At this point I refuse to even sleep until he is sleeping. I don't want to start over, I don't want to leave him, but I really can't take this pain it's causing me. It's all I think about. I've convinced myself so many times that he's cheating, but I know he wouldn't. I question whether it's anxiety or intuition. Maybe I just know deep down he really is cheating and I just don't want to believe it. I don't know. I don't think he would do that, but at the same time he's really into women. I hate that he looks at other girls in a sexual way, it bothers me so much, and we talk about it often, but with it being an addiction it's difficult. He has gotten a lot better since we have talked about it. He understands I have an issue and is usually happy to talk about it over and over and promise me over and over that he's not cheating. He allows me to have his phone whenever I want and everything, I have no reason to think he's cheating, but I can't get over it. It's not fair to him either. How do I deal with this? How do I stop hurting so much?
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