Went through my bf’s phone after I told him I’d never do it again. I had an urge to go on it and had the opportunity to do so and I did find something that wasn’t okay & so I asked him about this girl without mentioning I went on his phone to see if he’d lie and he did. I asked if he spoke to her recently and he said he didn’t speak to her. When I agreed to not go on his phone, he agreed to not speak to her. He eventually showed me the messages & he told her he wasn’t allowed to talk to her but that was during a scream match we had that escalated. I’m starting to feel guilt and and a huge urge to confess to him that I went on his phone. I can feel it’s more OCD related confession because I feel like my relationship isn’t real if I don’t confess this. I been looking stuff up online to make my brain relax. As a person, I don’t think he needs to know as I genuinely vow to never go on his phone again, and because I actually found something on there. I know what steps I need to take. he also fucked up, I don’t feel the need to confess, realistically but my ocd is telling me I need to confess or else it’ll bother me forever and my relationship isn’t real cuz if I confess I know he’ll leave me and I’m taking away his right to know. It’s just really bothering me. I’m so sick of wanting to confess every fucking thing. If I make any mistake that I even feel the other doesn’t neee to know, I feel the confession even stronger & I hate it. Sometimes ITS OK TO JUST KEEP THINGS HIDDEN BUT THIS FEELING IS JUST SO STRONG.

Relationship OCD

OCDRey

Date posted: 3y

I hate feeling the need to confess. Based on what usually helps me, this is my recommendation - The best thing I think you can do is to delay the confession. You don’t have to decide or know whether or not you should tell him or not right now. Maybe it’s only OCD, maybe it’s something you really should talk about. But you don’t need to figure that out. right now confessing is compulsive so continue to delay it.. and if the anxiety subsides and you don’t feel the need to obsess over it anymore but you still think it’s worth talking to him about, then you can take it from there

OCDRey

Date posted: 3y

Hope this is helpful

ecooley11

Date posted: 1y

I did a very similar thing but they dumped me the first time I snooped. they knew i was cheated on in the past & suffer with relationship ocd, but forgave me for looking at their phone, but dumped me 2 weeks later over it. do you think i should forgive myself or that they should’ve given me a chance? I get the same thoughts as you so as you know it’s not wanted & so hard to control but i feel like my ex wouldn’t hear me out & i was the one that confessed i did it in the first place right away

Cortina

Date posted: 1y

Betrayal in a relationship .. is toxic.. having OCD myself, I can’t deal with elusiveness. To me, they are head games and I’m generally, on point.. when I’m in an environment or situation where that is present.. I’m like “hey, if you talked behind my back”.. then just tell me. Transparency is pure.. and I’d settle for Pure over anything, any day.. to me.. that’s someone who really cares enough to keep a relationship pure.

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