So i was on a wait list for therapy and finally i have someone that can help me. I received a message from a therapist and i lost my shit. I started panicking and my brain is making up all sorts of terrible scenarios. For exemple, i have suicidal ocd and im terrified to potentially be suicidal. Welll my brain is telling me that the therapist will know that im suicidal and will make me go to the hospital. It makes me want to never get help because of all the scenarios. I dont know if its ocd. I want to cry, im so scared

This is what's gonna happen. You're gonna get on that call with the therapist, you'll be scared to death. You get the courage to open up and let out your deepest darkest thoughts that utterly disgust you, and think "this is horrifying, how are they gonna react?" They are gonna nod their head and be like "yeah that sounds scary, seems like you have OCD". This is literally what they deal with daily, your worst thoughts are not going to make them bat an eye. I can't diagnose you because I'm not your therapist but if you are that distressed over THOUGHTS you have, it's probably OCD.

My ocd is different, but I am a massage therapist for 22yrs now and I can promise you we do not have the credentials to send anyone to the hospital. It is also very normal to have emotional releases during and after massages, it's actually quite healthy! Your body stores so much physically and emotional stress and when released you can have all sorts of things come up. I hope you keep going and know a good massage therapist will never judge and are used to seeing people go through different experiences, I hope this helps ♡

LMAO my bad, I thought you got a massage waiting for an appointment with a therapist

As long as you don’t have active plans to carry out suicide, no need for hospitalization. The therapist definitely shouldn’t send you if it’s simply suicidal ideation. I have depression and suicidal ideation at times and have never been hospitalized for telling a therapist that

Also have some suicidal ideation, but that has never been cause for hospitalization