OCD or something wrong with me?

How to tell the difference between normal relationship doubts and ROCD? Im going on a rant now: I have avoided relationships for the most part over the last 10 years. as soon as I get past the 2nd or 3rd date I feel like if I dont know that they have the potential to be “the one” then I worry constantly about wasting my life and theirs. I had 2 relationships that lasted about 3 months but the whole time, I just wanted to get out even though they were both good guys. In November, I had my first panic attack and soon discovered what I was dealing with (and still managing it) is SO-OCD. Then I learned of ROCD and wondered if that is something I have struggled with since my teens. As soon as I get into a relationship I have these strong urges to break it off for minor stupid things. Things that honestly make no sense. Like a weird freckle or chin (real examples). Not to mention I am afraid of getting intimate because Im super paranoid of getting pregnant... I started talking to a guy during quarantine and it’s slowly turning into more than friends. I really like him and enjoy spending time with him but I am constantly worried. Being aware of ROCD has helped me be mindful of the present but all my old habits are trying to come back full force and I find myself trying to avoid him. Ive read as much as I can find on ROCD and I can check off almost all the obessions and compulsions that are associated with ROCD. But it doesnt affect me the same way SO-OCD did. Like I felt like I couldnt breathe, and I could barely be in public. I wanted to escape so bad all the time. With this ROCD (if thats what it really is) I dont feel that panic, I just feel worried, stuck, and distracted. Not to mention, if I can manage to stay mindful, how on earth do you even tell someone you just started seeing that you have ocd, let alone so-ocd and rocd. It just adds to me wanting to avoid him. Also, how do you go from being dateless and single for 2 years to starting a relationship in the middle of a quarantine while you’re learning that you have OCD.

I believe I (currently) am experiencing ROCD. Growing up as a child, I was always double checking the door was locked, wouldn’t walk on cracks, had to count to step. I eventually grew out of it. But I feel it has grown into ROCD. I currently have a year long relationship with a person I love and has treated me very well. I have plans to move in with him and I went job seeking at his house (we are long distance) last weekend. I had anxiety the entire time. I kept telling myself, I’m scared, what if this doesn’t work, what if this is telling me to break free of the relationship, what if I’m not attracted to him, and I was avoidant because I was so scared to feel the anxiety around/with him and question it all again. Once the anxiety would settle I would cry to him about it and tell him I’m just scared and everything is caving in. But is this normal in ROCD? I found myself googling everything the weeks leading up to me going. I once told him to give me space (he is very affectionate and I am not) and very selfless when it comes to calls/texts. PLUS - long distance adds to that. With everything, I started googling it all nonstop for days and feared we aren’t meant for each other. Now when he calls I feel anxious because I don’t want to feel that “trapped” feeling of not having space again and I googled how to find common and reasonable communication with long distance. UGH just everything is scaring me and I fear my obsessiveness over it is making it worse.

Hi guys! I believe I have an OCD since I was around 12. I remember then I had a lot of intrusive thoughts about religious things and I had a counting compulsion (I thought that If I don't count to 8 in specific moments, someone gets hurt) During later years it was really changing - I stopped being religious, so the OCD theme also stopped. Then I had I reckon SOCD, harm OCD and many others. But for know my main topic is ROCD. But because of the fact that this is my main intrusive thoughts topic I start to have this awful thoughts that this is not OCD, I'm just with the wrong person and I need to accept this fact. This is really struggling for me, because i really love my bf and Im in the healthy realtionship but Im so tired of having this kind of thoughts, sometimes I cannot sleep because of them. Also the fact that I've never been diagnosed (I cannot go on theraphy right now unfortunately) is another trigger because I have thoughts that I dont really have OCD, I just making this up, because I cannot accept the truth. Is there someone with similar experiance? Or maybe someone who can have advice for me?