Hey Pakhi,
I'm sorry OCD is making life so hard for you right now. It's natural to feel tired when you have to spend all your energy fighting OCD all the time.
The best treatment for OCD is called Exposure and Response Prevention, or ERP. If it's possible for you, I would recommend you try and see an ERP specialist to get treatment for your OCD. NOCD has a lot of really wonderful therapists who can help with these problems. If that's not possible for you (say, for money reasons or because of where you live) you can still try do some things to help yourself.
Here is how OCD works. 1) you have a thought that scares you (for example: "maybe I forgot to lock the door"). 2) This makes you feel anxiety. 3) To make the anxiety go away, you check the door. And for a little while, your anxiety goes down. But checking the door teaches your brain that you have to check the door to make your anxiety go away. 4) As a result, over time, you get that thought "maybe I forgot to lock the door" more and more, and you check the door more and more, and this keeps teaching your brain to follow this cycle, so your anxiety keeps going up.
The way we challenge OCD is to break that cycle. So what we do is this. 1) We get that same thought that we didn't lock the door 2) We *don't* go and check. We resist the urge. 3) Our anxiety goes up, because our brain thinks we have to check the door to make anxiety go away. 4) If we keep resisting that urge, over time the anxiety goes away naturally. It has to, because of our brain's biology. And that teaches our brain the opposite of what it's been learning before now--it teaches it that it doesn't have to check the door to make the anxiety go down. In the short term, this makes our anxiety feel worse. But if we keep doing it, over time our anxiety feels better.
So what I would suggest is that you try and find ways you can resist those urges--to check the door, or wash your hands, or check you're wearing clothes. Start with things that cause the least anxiety first, and work your way up to the ones that cause the most anxiety. It's okay if you can't resist an urge for a long time at first. Even trying to delay it by not doing anything for 30 seconds, and instead just tolerating your fear and not trying to do anything to make it go away, can help teach your brain a new way to respond.
I hope this helps! The NOCD app has a lot of really good resources to help you do this sort of thing as well. Seeing a therapist is always best if it's possible, but if it's not, there are still things you can do to help yourself. Best of luck <3
