Somatic/Sensorimotor OCD

So I’m 16 years old, currently going through my sophomore year of highschool. I’ve recently quit nicotine and weed after chronic use for about 4 years (has affected my development extremely). I quit because I wanted a better life for myself because I knew that I was using nicotine and weed for short term happiness and long term made me very depressed about this life. I was also experiencing trouble concentrating on simple tasks and what I wanted to do currently in my life. Which was learning about life and having more knowledge about life in general so i could feel more comfortable and happy in the future. So I quit nicotine I thought I was going to be able to overcome it and be more comfortable with myself knowing that I’m not in a constant loop of short term happiness, long term making me less happy overall. Although I have quit nicotine and haven’t touched it in about 3 weeks I expected to have some major withdrawals because I’m still in adolescence and used nicotine about everyday for 4 years. Sorry I’m rambling about this but through those years of always suppressing my anxiety with nicotine when anything came up that triggered it. I started noticing that on vacation in very stressful moments like at the airport and there were people around me when using the bathroom I felt as though it was nearly impossible to go but after sometime I eventually went and shrugged it off. Now that I’ve quit though I’m my 4th week it’s almost like my brain really latched onto that fear of not being able to go around people publicly (paruresis shy bladder syndrome) and that’s also what addiction does to you I’ve acknowledged. But when I started coming home from school I started thinking about not being able to pee more and more to the point i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since which now every time i feel a slight trigger of having to use the bathroom i start obsessing over it like everything I would try and do that i usually do my brain would draw me away from it and go back to the fear of not being able to go which created a lot of anxiety and thoughts like “would if im not able to stop going” which made me think about it more and more I would just wake up with that thought in my head each day to the point where i was really thinking about killing my self because I thought i would have such a better life without nicotine and weed but ultimately made me feel like i was going crazy and I really wanted to go back to vaping and weed but i knew that this was the cycle of addiction and that i may have a more underlying problem here i need to overcome somatic ocd. I haven’t been diagnosed with it yet and I know a lot of people go through a cycle of self diagnosing. But as I’ve slowly started to mentally figure out ways to get through this obsession over peeing and fight it, it’s like my brain is now trying to look for a new bodily sensation to obsess over. My breathing. I noticed this as well while using that sometimes I would think about my breathing a little bit to much for example saying to myself am I breathing right should I breath this certain way would if I can’t stop thinking about it. But as I was thinking about that I just hit my vape talked to my brother about it and just slept it off. Now that I don’t have a vape I’ve had to go through these expierences but with it feeling more real and not really having something to run to, to suppress like my vape. I’m writing this today as I feel better to myself talking about it and opening up about it as I’m trying to not respond to this fear with anxiety and go throughout my days ignoring these obsessive thoughts leading to extreme anxiety that I don’t have anything to suppress it with anymore besides my own mental. Maybe someone here will have some more knowledge about it than I do and can give me some advice to try to keep me more motivated to deal with this ocd I feel as though I’m having so I don’t end up in a dark place. Thank you.

Hey there everyone, first I would like to say I am very grateful for every single one of you on this platform and it feels so much better knowing that I can be heard. I’ve been hyperaware of my swallowing for 1-2 month. I feel like I have so much saliva in my mouth and I have to swallow and swallow. I feel the urge to swallow even I don’t NOTHING in my mouth, so I just swallow air. This has been really overwhelming and I feel like I can be so easily latched to other body part of my part. For example, I was conscious about my blinking and breathing for a few days, and now I get so anxious when I heard a weird sound my ears make after each sentence I speak. Is this somatic ocd or health concern ocd? I am so helpless and having a hard time to shift my attention. Does anyone have any suggestions or just words of encouragement would really help me at this moment. I REALLY appreciate your help. 💗🙏 Thank you !

more advice for sexual/pocd sufferers I read somewhere that if you hyperfocus too much on your body's reactions to intrusive thoughts, you're unwillingly just making it intensify the sensations. Your body, after enduring severe anxiety and stress from sexual obsessions, will now just react to anything sexual that comes into your mind, whether forced or randomly. It can happen in any way. OCD makes anything possible, and is driven by fear. Knowing this I realized, it doesnt matter at this point, and to let it happen. And you guys should too. Remember what your real values and desires are. It can feel as real as it gets, but it is still not you.