Hello, I’m a 22 year old female, before last week I was happy with everything in my life OCD hadn’t been playing up for a long time (last spike was me fearing that I was a Psychopath) I’m in a relation with a guy whom I LOVE! I’ve always been with guys and had feelings for guys ever since I can remember, last week one day I was watching something on my phone and BOOM - I thought am I attracted to butch females?! It’s not left my head I’m constantly searching on google and hear, I fear that I get arousal feelings so I constantly search girls to see if I do! I broke down the other day to the doctors and they said that if I was gay you’d know from a young age! Please can someone help me, I’m tired and I want this to stop I love my boyfriend and I want children of my own!

Sorry to hear this. I’m going through HOCD as well and I know, it sucks! All I can say is choose what you want over the OCD. Thoughts will try to make us think that’s who we are, but in truth our actions decide that. Youre already standing up to the OCD by choosing your boyfriend and the life you want. Beyond that, mindfulness, meditation and seeing an OCD specialist will help!

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this as well! It’s been the hardest one yet, I thought believing I was a Psychopath was hard but that was just a walk in the park compared to this! We can fight this no matter how hard and real it feels, I’m definitely gunna do some meditation

Meditation has helped me see the thoughts as thoughts and choose to remain in the present. It’s hard but it does work. I’m also about to start ERP with my therapist too!

I started by using the Headspace app. It’s great because it’s guided meditation that walks you through the process. He regularly reminds you to acknowledge the thoughts and transition back to focus on your breathing. Focusing on the present is so helpful with OCD because the present is real!

Oh! I get you!

Just want someone to recommend something for me to do? It’s getting to the point now that I’m tired and I wanna be the old me, anyone know how to stop this???

Really!! What exactly do you do for meditation, just so I can try and hopefully get back to my normal self! I’m ringing up councillors today and I’ll hopefully start from there!

I’ll get that App then! yeah like I know deep down I’m not gay or Bi because I’ve never questioned myself over it, then I feel better for two minutes the BOOM HELLO haha, I will get the headspace app now

I know it’s the worst! I also find that it makes me question my relationship as well. I have to consciously tell it that I’m going to do what I want!

Oh my god! Even though I’d never wish this on my worst enemy it’s really nice to know I’m not alone! The arousal one was the one that got me! But I’m excited to try meditation, I’m sure my boyfriend will meditate with me too as I guess it’s good for the mind!

Yea exactly! Sometimes he wants second and I’m just like, I can’t. Lol. It’s not funny but he understands and still loves me anyways. I’m lucky ☺️ yay! It’s great for the mind and I’m really really enjoying the peace it brings. Hope it works for you too!

He wants sex! Lol not second

Exactly! Yeah it’s not funny and fun at all and it feels so real but it’s not! You are and I’m lucky too!

If you’re interested, I’m in a Snapchat chat with a few others with HOCD. You’re welcome to join us if you’re interested.

Oh really!!

Yes please that would be great if could?

What’s your Snapchat name?

What’s your name? Lol

Really!

Oh no ? I’m sorry to hear that, It feels so real doesn’t it? Like it feels like you’re accepting it when you don’t want to! don’t worry it’s just OCD!

I feel for you ?it’s awful isn’t it!!! But we’ve gotta remember its only thoughts!

I constantly search Instagram to see if I’m attracted to them I hate it because I know I’m not ?what about you?

But the past two days it’s been ok! I haven’t thought about it as much but today it’s playing on my mind a lot but I think that’s because I’m not enjoying work atm ?

I’m the exact same! But it’s not real!

I know it does, but that’s what OCD does it makes you live the thing you fear, before this my last fear was that I thought I was a Psychopath!! It feels so real, but it’s not

Because if it wasn’t ocd you wouldn’t be obsessing over it, you’d accept it and embrace it! Ocd makes you obsess over it

It’s ok!! We should all stick together!

I’m not too sure, I’m trying to not check anymore!

I know what you mean, but you have to try!!