Someone please read and help me.

I just joined this app today and need someone to understand me or just listen to me. I have been suffering from extremely violent and gruesome intrusive thoughts mainly regarding my 3 year old toddler. I have noticed a peak in my intrusive thought struggle with a mass shooting occurs. I have a debilitating fear of a school shooting happening at my sons daycare. I am not going to get into the details but it is just so sickening that I can’t even type out what my head thinks. My problem is I self sabotage by reading about shootings until the story consumes me. Most recently the Highland Park shooting. I am worried because it has gotten to the point where I simply CANNOT sleep without taking something that knocks me out, otherwise I lay in bed with my chest so tight I can’t breathe letting these horrible visions play over and over again. I don’t want to be dependent on a downer to put me to sleep and an upper to get me through the day. This is the first time I am sharing my experience and it feels really good to get this off my chest. Please if anyone has gone through this and can offer anything please share it with me. I can’t go on like this

Username: MissLovelyMissLovely

Date posted: 2y ago

These thoughts are very typical ocd thoughts. You'd be surprised how many people actually get extremely graphic images in their minds of various things like this! The first thing I'd say, is definitely try not to read about mass shootings, don't avoid the thoughts, just avoid reading news articles etc. Let these thoughts happen. You may even think you're getting these for a reason, but what ever I tell you, ocd will not listen to. You literally can't argue with ocd because you will never win. These thoughts do not say anything about you as a person. But don't avoid these thoughts. Don't think of a monkey, you just thought of one. Let these happen. Don't be afraid to write about your thoughts on here. We've all had terrible thoughts that have left us feeling like potential criminals or not right in the head. It's ocd! Have you tried cbd if legal in your country? I'm pregnant at the moment but after birth if pregnancy goes well, I'm going straight back on it. I recommend it for when you're getting very anxious, and remember that you're not alone in this at all. It's the ones we love the most that ocd attacks us with thoughts about. Because we know we'd never deep down want anything to happen to the ones we love, that's why we're so worried about it xx

Username: Jason GibbsJason Gibbs

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you for sharing this with us namelessfornow! I know it can be very difficult to share these kinds of thoughts, and it takes a lot of courage to talk about it. Everything you're describing is very much in line with what we call Harm Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). We have a very effective treatment for it called Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. We offer a free 15-minute consultation call, if you are interested in reaching out and learning more about what therapy entails, payment and insurance options, etc.

Username: kels89kels89

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

I can definitely relate to this with my 3 year old as well. The news can be extremely upsetting and triggering and when it involves your kids it’s unbearable to think about these things.

Username: kiki♡kiki♡

Date posted: 2y ago

Aw I'm really sorry you're feeling this way, and I hope coming here can offer you some relief in knowing this is very normal ocd thoughts. I would also recommend you avoid reading about these events, but to let the thoughts come and go. Try not to monitor or figure them out (like if you're asking yourself if you're a horrible person, you will never find an answer you're satisfied with for long enough). These thoughts are garbage, and by treating them as unimportant, they will eventually quiet down in the background. Wishing you all the best! Maybe in your area there are ocd support groups, there are some on the nocd website too!

Username: Bd2Bd2

Date posted: 2y ago

I also worry about my child 24/7. I totally understand this. I’m also fearful of school shootings but other things as well. It is so exhausting.

Username: DogedDoged

Date posted: 2y ago

Realatble

Username: Glasscrow

Date posted: 5y ago

Hi, I downloaded this app on a whim and I realized I might have harm ocd. I thought it was my depression getting to me this whole time. Here's the pattern I've noticed. After a really good day or weekend when I've become very happy, I'll start to get intrusive thoughts about people insulting or slighting me in some way and me killing them to punish them. As the days go by the length of the intrusions increases dramatically, so that I'm spacing out for hours about graphic murder and suicide scenes that are very disturbing. They will end in one of two ways. The first is I will think to myself that I would actually do these things because I must, and then do a 180 and cry about how I don't want to hurt anyone or become a terrible person. The second is that my fury and wrath within the imagined scenario will become so intense that it's like an orgasm of rage jolts me awake, and then I become very upset about what kind of thoughts I was having and the fact that they completely stole all of my attention. Sometimes I find that I have been pacing or even running back and forth, because of all that fight or flight adrenaline that got worked up. By the end of the week I'm feeling deeply depressed if not suicidal. Because of the pattern that has emerged, it feels like my brain just won't allow me to enjoy life, like it has to sabotage me everytime I actually enjoy living, and I'm even starting to feel dread during happy times because happiness has come to mean the beginning of another emotional storm. Does this sound familiar to any of you? I'm not diagnosed with ocd, and I wanted to wait until I get a better job at the end of summer before I start visiting a psychiatrist. This app tells me to let those murder thoughts come. That seems outrageous to me. I don't want to think about killing people MORE. I thought about writing graphic lyrics and putting it to music in my band, but I worry that would be a selfish way to cope because then I would be planting those desires in people who might actually do them. I'm sure this got long so thanks if you read all this.

Username: anthonyjdm

Date posted: 2y ago

Need help with POCD

Hello I’m struggling really bad with POCD. It’s the absolute worst because the intrusive thoughts are from my own child. I feel so sick like a complete monster to the point that have felt very suicidal I’ve gone to the ER they gave me some medicine but that didn’t help I’ve been looking for therapist in my area and they all seem to be fully booked or there isn’t any . I’m feeling very lost and I don’t want to give up on my family if anyone has any suggestions please let me know . I’ve looked in NOCD does any one have experience with them ? Should I go in turn myself in to inpatient. The thoughts get very Loud at night that it’s unbearable

Username: Taffylee04

Date posted: 27w ago

Not knowing how to cope.

Hey I’m new to this, I’m a 20 yo female, and I’m pretty sure I’ve had ocd since my childhood, but it’s gotten worse has I’ve gotten older. I never really understood my intrusive thoughts and always felt so sick and uncomfortable when I’d have them. They took a turn many months ago when they became more often and more intense. And I started doing some research on them and came across ocd (which I always thought was just when people don’t like to be unorganized and are like perfectionists or something) but as I was reading different websites and seeing how many types of ocd there was I noticed that I related to most of what I was reading. I still haven’t been officially diagnosed or found a therapist yet but I’m working on it. The past year has been the hardest with my intrusive thoughts. I’m mainly bothered by my pocd and I feel sick to my stomach whenever I get an intrusive thought about a child. I absolutely love kids and would never do anything to hurt them it physically makes me ill when I think about it. (If anyone has any tips to deal with this please reply😭) I think I have an idea to why I have those thoughts. I didn’t have the best childhood I was sa’d at 4&9 by 2 different people that were supposed to take care of me, and I have this horrible fear that i could be like them and it makes me feel so incredibly sick. I was also way too exposed to s3xual things as a child, my family was way too open about s3x growing up like I’m talking adults in my life thought it was okay to openly talk about it to me when I was 6/7 like it was normal. I wish I could explain more but this is already way too long. I’ve only opened up to a select few people about this so this was extremely hard for me, I’m literally fighting for my life… Thank you to anyone who cared enough to read this all the way through I appreciate it so much.🤍

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Someone please read and help me.

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community