Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Not Sure to Give Gift

I am having a really hard time with a diamond heart necklace I got my amazing, supportive girlfriend for her birthday. I faced a trigger and intrusive thoughts while getting buying the gift and I was extremely distressed when it happened. I feel I can’t get rid of the association at this point. I have been debating on whether or not to give it to her and I really need help. The gift for me is associated with a really bad memory/trigger but it is what I wanted to give her in my heart. I don’t want to be in pain every time I see it. I wish I never ran into a trigger while getting it :/ I could tell her about it too. I love her so much and want to give it to her but I hate that a trigger occurred while getting it. Help would be appreciated!

SDW453

Date posted: 3y

Hi! You are normal do not worry and do not beat yourself up for feeling a trigger. I’ve been there, but not giving her the necklace will actually give the OCD more power. I want you to try you’re best to give her the necklace because by doing that you are showing you’re OCD and yourself that it is just a trigger, and everything is actually okay. It’s like exposure Thearpy within itself- eventually it will feel less painful. I’m so sorry you are going through this but don’t give it power! I know it’s easier said than done but you got this.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Thank you so much!! This was my thought process as well. Giving OCD more power. I wouldn’t know if I could live with not giving it to her either, after taking the time and energy to search for it

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

I was even anxious making this post. I’m not sure if I will be okay at the moment with giving it to her, that I can live with it. The trigger/intrusive thoughts after reminded me of trauma triggering my ROCD and POCD if that makes sense. I really hope giving it will help me. I’m trying to have hope

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Should I tell my girlfriend afterwards how I had an intrusive thought/trigger while getting this, but powered through to get it? She’s really supportive in my recovery, it might mean a lot

SDW453

Date posted: 3y

I promise you as time goes on it will be easier and focus on the fact that she loves it and how sometimes you do like it. It will be easier once she wears it more often I promise. I’m so proud of you, you are a great boyfriend.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Since this post, I realized it could be less distressing as I am exposed to the necklace. I hope that is healthy/what is intended

SDW453

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous Yes! Exactly

peachykeenkat

Date posted: 3y

I kind of have the same thing! I have a ring from an ex boyfriend but it's such a beautiful ring thag my partner thought I should wear it. I struggled with the connection it had but then realized that an object like this shouldn't take control of the meaning. Now, with time i've been able to look at it as something that tops off the other ring he gave me. He doesn't make a lot of money to get me a diamond ring so he got me a silicone promise ring thags beautiful! I loved it even if it's not a diamond because he made the effort. Keep pushing and try to tell yourself that an object doesn't have to define your life, especially if you CHOOSE to not let it.

SDW453

Date posted: 3y

Yes you should tell her! Don’t go into detail about the thought but tell Her might help

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

I gave it to her, she is really happy! I’m really terrified and I hate seeing her wear it, although sometimes I like it. I’m really distressed, she said she wants to wear it all the time. I’m not going to tell her today but maybe I’ll talk to my therapist about it first. I tried to do what’s best in my heart and what a normal person would do. It’s such a trigger for me and it’s around her neck, ughhh

SDW453

Date posted: 3y

^ or girlfriend! I don’t know your gender I am so sorry for assuming

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

You give such sound advice and guidance! I really appreciate it! Yes I love that it makes her so happy, and it makes me thrilled to see too! I identify as male

SDW453

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous You are so strong. I understand how hard this is. You’re ROCD won’t define you. What is real is that you pulled through and beat you’re OCD. you should be so proud

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@SofW0405 Thank you! Yea I will keep trying and facing the discomfort. I have several forms of OCD from exploring the app and learning. I am hopeful in being able to live better and hopefully not have as many intrusive thoughts/get my life back

SDW453

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous Me too! I suffer from SOCD, ROCD, real event ocd, pure ocd, and health concern ocd. It’s a struggle everyday but we r gonna get better!

Cam$$$

Date posted: 25w

Any Advice ?

When I talk about how terrible I used to be to my girlfriend it makes me feel like I’m gonna do it again which I don’t wanna do and it scares me and then I get intrusive thoughts and feelings about it doing it but I don’t want to, weird I know.

anon.111

Date posted: 25w

Old Necklace

Just found a necklace of mine that I used to wear so long ago 24/7, it was my favorite ever. It's so beautiful. But I've convinced myself it's bad luck because during the time I was wearing it, I was having a hard time with many things in life. So now I think that if I put this necklace back on, bad things are going to happen. I really missed this necklace, but can't get myself to put it back on because I don't want to risk it. I hate this.

Jinxx.4444

Date posted: 16w

Triggers

My boyfriend keeps triggering my intrusive thoughts on purpose to mess with me. I've explained how bad they are to him before but i guess he just doesn't get it. He finds it funny when I have such a visceral reaction to him reminding me of them. I hope it doesn't sound too silly but body horror really freaks me out and this one image haunts me so bad when I remember it and he knows that, I trusted him with that knowledge but he loves to just yell out what it is to mess with my head. Now it'll flow in and out of my head for days and I'm gonna have trouble sleeping tonight. Usually distraction works but this one is particularly strong. Does anyone have any good coping skills or tips for going to sleep when it keeps haunting you?

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