Bro I keep getting groinals and checking out ljke looking at girls on social media and getting groinials and now I just had the most nastiest thought and I felt like I agreed with it :( it was so uncomfortable and I feel weird but I’m watching neon demon and I just figured out that the actress is playing a 16 years old girl but irl she’s not 16 and I noticed that I keep just looking at her butt and I even said “oh she doesn’t even have a butt” and I felt so weird after that, is it normal to have thoughts like this a bc I swear I feel like since I haven’t been haven’t that many thoughts I feel like these are not pocd thoughts :( and I feel no anxiety at all anymore and I even had a bad freak out where I was on like 1-7 day streak of not having thoughts and I had thought I became a p :(, then I think panicked myself back into them and the thoughts came back 😭 or the worries at least. Then I saw this boy on an edit from a movie and he looked really young then I keep thinking or saying he was cute but I felt like I was attracted to him or was and I feel like that’s why I said it, and he looked like pretty young yk so idkkk anymore I’m so worried and it’s been aching at me for awhile and I just had to confess bc I really feel weird and I feel like I’m becoming a p, and feeling like I’m so used to it and that it’s okay to have these thoughts and that I like thinking of this or idk it’s bc normal and I don’t like that like ughhh 😕 somethings wrong with me

Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared

Ive dealt with pocd for a very long time now and it gets more real as time goes on. I was watching a movie and I’ve read the books so I knew there was a kiss scene coming up.The actors and their characters are children but I was basically looking forward to the scene. Then as they were kissing, it looked kind of weird and mechanical because again the actor was technically still a child. And I let myself indulge and enjoy it, of how someone young was doing something sexual and adult like. Idk I feel like a fuckikg creep but I don’t WANT this. There was nothing intrusive about this, it’s just something creepy that I’ve done. I keep ruminating about it but still. I don’t identify myself by this mistake but it still sucks. My mind then went to children that I know, one girl and one boy, and them separately doing sexual things for the first time and navigating that and it feels like I like it but I don’t. It’s not as real as the movie scene because the fact I enjoyed the scene WAS real but it’s still stressing me out.

I just had intense sexual thoughts of this 6 yo, I got intense groinal response and I felt like I genuinely liked the thoughts, like I had 0 distress from the thoughts and I felt intense groinal response, I felt like I wanted the thoughts, now I feel like a litteral pedo, I don’t wanna be a pedo, idk why I felt that way towards the thoughts, but it felt genuine, like attraction and enjoyment, I’ve not been diagnosed with pocd and I just started therapy, can someone please help me? Idk why this happened or if it even is pocd, I don’t wish to be a pedo but I feel like one rn.