Bro I keep getting groinals and checking out ljke looking at girls on social media and getting groinials and now I just had the most nastiest thought and I felt like I agreed with it :( it was so uncomfortable and I feel weird but I’m watching neon demon and I just figured out that the actress is playing a 16 years old girl but irl she’s not 16 and I noticed that I keep just looking at her butt and I even said “oh she doesn’t even have a butt” and I felt so weird after that, is it normal to have thoughts like this a bc I swear I feel like since I haven’t been haven’t that many thoughts I feel like these are not pocd thoughts :( and I feel no anxiety at all anymore and I even had a bad freak out where I was on like 1-7 day streak of not having thoughts and I had thought I became a p :(, then I think panicked myself back into them and the thoughts came back 😭 or the worries at least. Then I saw this boy on an edit from a movie and he looked really young then I keep thinking or saying he was cute but I felt like I was attracted to him or was and I feel like that’s why I said it, and he looked like pretty young yk so idkkk anymore I’m so worried and it’s been aching at me for awhile and I just had to confess bc I really feel weird and I feel like I’m becoming a p, and feeling like I’m so used to it and that it’s okay to have these thoughts and that I like thinking of this or idk it’s bc normal and I don’t like that like ughhh 😕 somethings wrong with me

I get thoughts of kids Whever I think or see an image of someone my age, like for example today I saw a bikini pic of a girl my age and it randomly reminded me of a pic of a kid in a bikini I saw a month ago, is this a sign of something bad? My thought usually come up when I think abt someone my age I’m into, and they also feel like I’m purposely thinking of them, I’m not sure if it intrusive thoughts or not, it feels difficult to figure out. These thoughts also don’t distress me anymore, idk if it means something bad or not, but I do not wish to be a pedo, I hope to eventually have a relationship with a girl my age. Alongside all of that, sometimes when I see a kid I get a sense of attraction, but I’m not sure if it is false or not, to me it feels so real, but I don’t wanna be attracted to kids. I’ve just started therapy, I’m currently trying to find a way to get a diagnosis, I really hope I’m not diagnosed as a pedo. Ik that false attraction comes with negative emotion, but I don’t feel negative emotion when I get what I hope is false attraction, I keep trying to figure out if what I’m feeling is false or true because I don’t feel negative emotions, it makes me worried that it’s real and that I really am a pedo. Not looking for reassurance but can someone tell me if these are pure o ocd symptoms or something actually bad?

I just had intense sexual thoughts of this 6 yo, I got intense groinal response and I felt like I genuinely liked the thoughts, like I had 0 distress from the thoughts and I felt intense groinal response, I felt like I wanted the thoughts, now I feel like a litteral pedo, I don’t wanna be a pedo, idk why I felt that way towards the thoughts, but it felt genuine, like attraction and enjoyment, I’ve not been diagnosed with pocd and I just started therapy, can someone please help me? Idk why this happened or if it even is pocd, I don’t wish to be a pedo but I feel like one rn.

I have no idea anymore. I guess this all started with me worrying about whether I was gay, then whether I was a P, then worried about being just attracted to teenagers. After that I started freaking out about not feeling “grown up” enough. Like “I’m an adult wtf is wrong with me for seeing someone who is probably younger and thinking they’re physically attractive. Then I started overthinking not finding older adults (like 30 or 40) very attractive. Like ofc I’m probably not gonna find them attractive, they’re not anywhere close my age. Maybe the desires are half real. Maybe as a 21 yr old young adult I do find older teenagers (16+) somewhat physically attractive. I still think it’d be weird to date one. Maybe that’s the normal reaction I’m supposed to have. If not, please let me know. I just don’t wanna do anything illegal one day and I’m super scared I will. I can’t tell if the fear is my just being afraid of the law though, in which case I might actually just be a bad person. I hate that my brain is just rationalizing thoughts now. I feel like I can’t do the ERP thing of “just accept that the thoughts are there but don’t engage.” Like what? How can I just think a thought that might be so integral to my identity and just ignore it? If it’s all true and I don’t like people my age anymore then I have to know and plan around that, that could change my entire life. I’m rambling, my b.