please help I’m in distress!

I’ve suffered from SOCD, ROCD,Somatic OCD, Perfectionism OCD, Pure OCD. Health Concern OCD, and even Contamination OCD. The last few days I have been getting thoughts about gender identity questions randomly when I never have done so before, but they are not nearly as dibilating as yesterday randomly out of the blue I felt like I got a random onset of TOCD. Not once in my life have I ever questioned my gender identity and have always felt greatly comfortable and identified with being a girl but all the sudden yestefday randomly saw a tik tok of someone who is transgender and boom all of the sudden I got these thoughts wondering if I am and what that would mean and I have to breakup with my boyfriend and etc. it has been extremely hard for me to navigate these thoughts the last 24 hours. I know this is OCD because this is something that I never have been worried about before but it still feels so real so weird so scary and so shameful. Not to mention I feel like an awful person who is transphobic at the same time. I want these to go away. I have enough intrsuive thoughts to deal with on an everyday basis and now this ontop of it is unbearable. My other triggers aren’t even triggering me anymore. I feel so weird and scared. Even the clothes I got for myself two days prior I feel like I can’t wear or try on because I’m too scared. I don’t know what’s going on with me I feel so extremely alone. Not to mention both of my parents have COVID so I am LITERALLY alone physically and mentally. Has something like this ever happened to anyone ?

SDW453

Date posted: 3y

It’s like I want my other ocd thiughts back…. It’s awful. I’m in such distress

ultraViolenc...

Date posted: 3y

samee.. i was trying to bring my existential OCD back to just shut the TOCD down but OCD is smart, ir only latches onto something we're afraid of and don't want

ultraViolenc...

Date posted: 3y

@ultraViolenceOcd it only*

ultraViolenc...

Date posted: 3y

I relate to this soooo much.. I also saw a transgender man's tiktok with the caption 'when your parents thought they were raising a daughter.. and blah blah..' and I suddenly thought something like.. 'he was also once a girl and everyone around thought he was a girl. maybe I'm transgender too?'. this obsession literally destroyed me in a few days... i have to study for exams but i can't bring myself to do it because there are triggers everywhere, i feel a constant need to reassurance seek, etc. On the first day of the obsession, I also thought, 'What a bullshit. I'm not a trans man', but now I'm not sure.. I'm questioning basically everything.. it's THAT EXACT obsession that CAN'T stand uncertainty and it's very hard to just go with simple 'maybe, maybe not' to do ERP and hold uncertainty. it's very hard.. i know that... but it's truly the only way to go through and you have to keep trying what also helps me is the understanding that it's impossible to come to an exact answer with this terrible disorder... it makes us question everything in the world.. even transgender people with OCD doubt whether they are really transgender.. that is... just remember your past obsessions, the questions won't end. after one question, another will come, then another and another and one more and so on ad infinitum..

SDW453

Date posted: 3y

Omg this made me feel so much less alone. Thank you so much

Shawin

Date posted: 3y

You're not alone! Hang in there! I also struggle with ocd

SDW453

Date posted: 3y

Someone if you can please help

Dreamydream

Date posted: 13w

TOCD

2 nights ago I saw something on my phone and it has now spiraled into me scared of being trans or being gay because i don’t want to be… now i have a huge fear of what if i am gay and am attracted to woman or what if im not comfortable in my body and want to turn into a man. It’s freaking me out - my ocd always makes me question my character! Has anyone experienced this 😩

Dreamydream

Date posted: 13w

TOCD

Is it normal for this theme to legit make you feel like you’re the opposite gender and that’s what you want to be and it’s very convincing? And you just keep getting images and scenarios in ur head of you transitioning and actually going through with it? This is sooo scary and i don’t feel like myself at all anymore. It’s making me not feel like a woman or myself of how I’ve always been my whole life. I’m really nervous and scared, it’s really make me feel like this is my true feelings/ self ): it’s causing me to feel weird k. My own body and feel weird about my body parts. Like my brain is literally thinking as a trans person would feel or think like wtf??? Is this normal?!? Pls someone let me know. & and it’s making me feel like I’m attracted to woman all the sudden and i keep getting flashes of that in my head. I’m in a relationship and im scared this is gonna ruin things bc the way this theme is making me feel and my body. Ugh ihml, need some advice. Has anyone experienced exactly this??

g_rangel

Date posted: 12w

spiraling again.

i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time

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