My friends just told me that one of my friends is gay. Oh my god. One of my friends is a lesbian and I just feel so anxious. Does that mean I am too? Oh my god I feel weird. I feel like I am hiding from everyone. I just feel so weird.

Careful with this please!:) This should be treated like any other ocd. There’s no end to it, no point in trying to figure it out. That’s seeking clearing, certainty. ‘If you would do this, then you’re that.’ ‘If you like that, then you’re this’. That’s not how you should approach these thoughts and feelings. Of course they are going to be extremely real and identical to how we actually think, do there is no point in analyzing them like we would our actual feelings. I know it’s tricky cause it seems super harmless and like there is an easy way to get to an answer, but just like asking ‘well, do you WANT to hurt a kid??’ to someone with pocd, asking someone ‘well do you WANT this?’ with hocd will only bring frustration and more confusion. I totally know you mean no harm at all- I’m not scolding! I just want to make sure everyone approaches this correctly:) thank you for your efforts though?❤️

But I stopped worrying about 50% when I had sex with a guy. Sex with men feels so good. There's just a natural thing there yknow, a natural sex toy lol

Oh, thanks for the help!

It's okay, don't be afraid to test the waters! Remember that lesbian is a label, don't try to label yourself as anything!

Would you lick a vagina? If yes then you probably are, if no then you are not

You are what ever you're comfortable being and you clearly aren't comfortable with the idea of being a lesbian

Like I say I've had sex with a girl and it didn't really do much for me but I'd do it again cause I identify as straight but I'm not scared to experiment

You're not and even if you were, being gay really wouldn't matter, even trying to figure it out wouldn't matter, as soon as you realise this the obsession will go away, but unfortunately with ocd, it grabs onto something else. Just be thankful that you don't have POCD (not sure if you do as well?) but when I had hocd I much preferred that even though I thought it was the worst thing in the world at the time

It’s horrible. It’s making me freak out. Like “would I like to date her” “do I like her”and I am so worried. I am feeling so much anxiety right now.

Well I think you should do an exposure response prevention, and go to gay pride? Or a gay bar? Really put yourself out of your comfort zone about it. And eventually if you do this often, the worry of fancying the same sex will lesson

Cause once you realise that it doesn't matter if you're bisexual or straight or gay, then the fear will lesson. What's your main worry about being a lesbian?

And what's your worry about not liking men at all?

I am so worried. It feels so real. Like soo real. I have no reason to think this but somehow I am convinced. It’s the only thing in my mind 24/7

Yea I worry about never having a crush on a guy again because later l figure out that I am not going to like that

I don’t know what my biggest worry is. It’s just not me. Maybe not being accepted? Idk.

Yeah, but what would be so bad about being a lesbian? If you tell me I can try and help

Well the thing is, everyone is becoming much more accepting now. In fact, the only homophobe I really know is my mum. And even though she is a Christian and has said she finds the idea disgusting, she said if my sister was, she'd accept her. It's becoming a common thing. I've tried it out with a woman before and it wasn't my thing, but I'll be doing it again soon because I'm comfortable with being straight and open to exploring if that makes sense. Lesbian is only a label xx

I don’t know. Maybe living life as one. Being in love with women. Not being accepted. Actually being one. I don’t know. I just think I don’t want it but I don’t know

But it’s hard

I just don’t know, everything is so confusing

And even if you had a boyfriend, you could ask to have a threesome or something, if you think you're a lesbian whilst being with him. But I know you're not or else you'd be 100% comfortable with the idea xx

It’s scary

Well maybe try it out with a girl and really expose yourself. It's not illegal at the end of the day, and I bet when you try it out, you'll feel weird about it and never want to do it again. And even if you do feel weird about it, sit with that anxiety and ask yourself why you aren't going back for more. It would be because you felt uncomfortable

But the thing is, even if you like women, doesn't mean you're gay. You can be bisexual

You can also be bisexual and never act on it

Like I don’t want to be. Ever since they told me she was a lesbian I’ve just started feeling so anxious. What if this is all real? What if it just isn’t ocd anymore?

It's all up to what makes you feel comfortable at the end of the day. When I had hocd, I got over it by thinking well fuck it, if I am I am, if I'm not I'm not, I'm ganna do what makes me feel comfortable at the time

I just lost 95% of my attraction to guys. It’s horrible. I can’t even imagine myself with a guy anymore. I am having an anxiety attack. It feels as if I am never going to love a guy again

You need to stop worrying about what people think. You'd never be ridiculed for being gay. Infact, you'd probably gain some really nice friends. You have to be okay with not knowing. If you are you are, if you aren't you aren't. And if you are, to hell what everyone thinks you're not harming anyone!

Sorry if this is personal, but have you ever had sex with a guy?

Misslovely, did you have the sudden feeling to just tell everyone? Or did you sometimes feel convinced you were a lesbian without actual reason? Like never have been actually attracted to girls just thinking they are pretty or something? I am just so worried

Because if you have and you enjoyed it back then, you're 100% not gay

No, never even had a boyfriend. And that’s even more scary. What if I am right now just figuring it out?

I’ve just had like a few very big crushes on guys. But all of the sudden they feel fake. I feel drained. It feels so real

Well I thought I was a lesbian for 8 years. From the age of 10 to 18 maybe even younger than 10. I came across an Internet post of hocd, and because Ive had ocd since I was 3, I had a feeling it could be that. So I was scared to come out, and I was scared I'd shout out I was a lesbian. Like intrusive thoughts etc. My auntie actually straight up asked me if I was a lesbian because I hadn't had a boyfriend, and that triggered me so bad. Thoughts that my whole family would dis own me and people would hate me and I'd feel unhappy and weird all the time kept entering my mind. Until I tried it out. I think it kind of all went away when I tried it out. I went the deep end and tried it out and I gradually stopped obsessing over it.

Did it feel real too? Like you’d never like guys again?

Like you’d somehow marry a woman or something?

I feel so uncomfortable and anxious right now

Like guilty. Like closeted. Anxious. Uncomfortable

Yeahh I had all those thoughts yep. I suggest you have sex with a guy before a girl.

Just try it out with both genders, but yourself in the deep end.

It doesn't matter what you are, but if you've had crushes on guys in the past, have sex with a guy and I'm sure you'll love it

Like the fact she came out just triggers me 50x. I am young. I am scared I am figuring it out.

I don’t think I’ll be too comfortable having sex with a girl now

Yeah just try and get a boyfriend and see how things go, but pick the right one. When I was 15 I dated a douche bag that I can't even consider a boyfriend because it was a crappy relationship

He made me think I was for sure a lesbian, so you definitely have to pick a kind caring guy. Like my real first boyfriend was. But he has to be a bit naughty too to add some mystery

I feel so bad. The phrase “she is gay” doesn’t leave my head. Like when my friends told me my friend is gay, doesn’t leave my head.

I am in constant questioning of “would I like to date her?” “Do I feel like her?” “Can I relate to her?”

I feel like sadly I could never look at her the same. She is a lot different than me tho, it’s not surprising. But the fact that she is has just made me feel constantly anxious and scared

I mean it wasn’t very surprising how she is. But it’s just bringing so many thoughts and scariness

Bless you, I'm really not sure how I can help other than to keep exposing yourself around gay people

I am just scared. What if I am like her? I mean her saying it just makes it seem more real. Ugh, why

Clarity*