ROCD & intimacy & sex

ROCD has really attacked not only my relationship but sex life. lately when I’m alone and you know, doing certain things.. I watch videos to help me and whatever.. but the thing I’ve been fixated on lately is.. my brain thinks: “You shouldn’t have to watch a video to be turned on. You should love/be attracted to your partner enough to just think of them!” Or if a little fantasy slips into my head of like a celebrity or something, my brain immediately goes NO! You should be thinking of your partner only! I feel like this thinking has actually done the opposite of what I want (which is to be okay with whatever but naturally feel more inclined to think of my partner more) .. this whole stopping my thoughts thing has decreased the amount of time spent actively fantasizing about my partner I’m not sure how to address it in my head

dragon_calves

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Oh yeah, OCD especially this subtype will screw with one’s sex life. Been there. The compulsion seems to be the ruminating. Don’t give OCD the satisfaction. For example, think what you want during sex (if your partner, great; if not your partner, great). OCD is trying to convince you it means something, but it is just a thought that very well may be misleading. When I have thoughts like that, I simply try ti think: “Ok, I hear you. I’m going back to doing what I was doing.”

dragon_calves

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Oh the compulsion may also be avoiding the non-partner sex fantasies etc.

Klynn2700

Date posted: 3y

@dragon_calves Do you mind expanding on this?

Klynn2700

Date posted: 3y

I love this. Meaning is huge. Thank you for this comment I think it will help others too.

dragon_calves

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@Klynn2700 I hope so :) you really aren’t alone in this!

dragon_calves

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@Klynn2700 The avoiding compulsion? It is that if you are avoiding watching healthy amounts of porn, for example, because you are scared about what it means, stop avoiding it. Watch it. It seems strange, I know. But none of the behaviors you mentioned are unhealthy. So don’t feed ocd by avoiding these things you may enjoy. Hopefully that makes sense!

Klynn2700

Date posted: 3y

@dragon_calves Ah I see! I find myself oddly enough in the middle of watching porn sometimes.. stopping myself .. almost like a mental pause, being like “wait.. what am I doing right now? i shouldn’t be watching this, this isn’t good for me, i should be ____” but usually it never makes me actually stop. it’s so hard out here to stop listening / giving meaning to thoughts!

Maeday

Date posted: 3y

Hahaha, my OCD/ depression has killed my sexual drive all together. I can't even think of sex without being repulsed, let alone any fantasies with or without my partner. 😞

Klynn2700

Date posted: 3y

we are in this together. it is truly a fight. ocd also REALLY wants me to blame this entire subtype on something. it really breaks me down. I’ll be having obsessing thoughts about sex and my brain will go .. but WHY do I have these thoughts? And that is not what you should do lol 🤣 but it’s hard to stop sometimes! my brain will blame it on my past partner traumas, low sex drive, birth control, literally anything. I just need to learn to accept and sit with the fact that things are never perfect, life flows, and it’s all going to be okay.

sley_13

Date posted: 23w

ROCD

I’ve been with my partner for almost a year now, and my rocd has become really really bad. I keep feeling like I fell out of love and I just have eyes for other people now, and that I would rather be with someone else. It feels like I’m infatuated with other people and it makes me so guilty. It’s been so hard for me because it’s hard to tell if it’s just my brain convincing me I don’t love my partner or if this is really my desire. The biggest fear I have is hurting my partner, so there’s also a sense of urgency that I need to tell them how I’ve been feeling to prevent myself from leading them on I guess. This is compounded with a history of porn addiction that still affects me and makes me feel like I’m more attracted to others. Has anyone else been in this position? I feel like I’m alone and that this is the sign that I’m terrible and shouldn’t be with my partner and that the end of our relationship is inevitable. I can’t tell if I really love them or not and if I really want to still be with them and I hate that I’m having that doubt.

bruhhh

Date posted: 19w

ROCD & Limerence addiction

I feel like my brain needs to chase dopamine. I’m currently in a long term relationship but I notice myself chasing male attention at work and fantasizing about if my coworker can bring me more joy than my current partner. Deep down inside I know that I love my partner and he’s the only person I want to be with but right now I feel so miserable. I feel like if I dont seek reassurance (watching videos on this topic, scrolling through reddit) then my mind will start to think that I need to leave my partner. I’ve been struggling with ROCD for over a year now and I’m wondering if I should even be with my partner since this has been going on for so long. I dont know how to accept the fact that my relationship isn’t going to feel like how it did in the beginning.

Relationship OCD

brunom1000

Date posted: 19w

Rocd

What do yall do when yall think of past partners or other people during intercourse with your current partner. I ended up confessing that to my partner and it’s damaging the relationship or making things really difficult. Having a really hard time trying to control the thoughts. I even think of other people while with my partner. Any advice or anyone with similar experience?? Please

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ROCD & intimacy & sex

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